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Old 03-01-2011, 11:50 AM   #1
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I Get the feeling B/F Spying on my daughter

I have gotten the idea that my B/F maybe spying on my young daughter in the bathroom. I have NO PROOF ,just a sick gut. I have serched high and low, and have not been able to find anything. I have even confronted him. He says I am sick. I do not know what to do. I have purchased a mini spycam and am considering using it to see if I can catch him spying on her. But this option makes me feel sick too.I do not want to violate anyones privacy, and to feel i need to go to these lenghts is devastating. I am also afraid of what I might learn. And If i find nothing I will of course be relieved, but at the same time, I feel somehow wrong in even thinking of spying/ not trusting him. I do not know how to proceed. But this is consuming my thoughts and is a real problem, either psycologicaly, or moraly/ leagaly. The idea will not be quiet in my gut that this is happening. NO PROOF JUST GUTS .. So do I recon and spy ?

 
Old 03-01-2011, 12:49 PM   #2
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Re: I Get the feeling B/F Spying on my daughter

i usually advise to always listen to your gut
but since you've told him, that kinda let the cat outta the bag.....
how old is your daughter and has she ever expressed any uncomfortableness around him?

 
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Old 03-01-2011, 01:05 PM   #3
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Re: I Get the feeling B/F Spying on my daughter

My daughter is only 16. And I confronted him with the fact that I felt something was odd, I felt that way for a while and then I found a small electrical adapter I could not identify. I suspect it is some kind of charger/usb port for a hidden camera BECAUSE- it had no other pourose I can identify in our home.
It had NO MAKER MARKS, like a cell phone or normal camera cord. (i.e. samsung/nikon
it was very short/discreet, almost inconvienient for a normal use.
He claimed it was something he found in a residence we were helping clean out, and it "might be handy" I did not buy this and told him so.
I said it looked like a camera conector. And as I said I serched high and low to find anything else. But I am not alone at home much to have the freedom to serch every thing I would like.My daughter and he get along okay, typical authority strugle, nothing I worry over. But I have gotten this idea, I got it as an image clear as a photo .. but that is all I have.
What to do??

 
Old 03-01-2011, 01:09 PM   #4
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Re: I Get the feeling B/F Spying on my daughter

I would pursue it somehow since your gut instict is so strong and the charger has no real good explanation. where is the charger now? do you have it or does he?

 
Old 03-01-2011, 01:11 PM   #5
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Re: I Get the feeling B/F Spying on my daughter

Quote:
Originally Posted by rosequartz View Post
I would pursue it somehow since your gut instict is so strong and the charger has no real good explanation. where is the charger now? do you have it or does he?

 
Old 03-01-2011, 01:17 PM   #6
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Re: I Get the feeling B/F Spying on my daughter

This is a sickening situation. I would make the time to do an extensive search of every inch of that bathroom and any adjoining rooms. I would probably bring in someone to help me that is an expert in this type of thing. There are stores that sell surveillance equipment, I would call one and ask it they could send someone out to check for a camera or any other evidence of such a set up.

I would watch that bf like a hawk, if not ask him to leave for a few days while you figure this out. If it is found that he is, I would make sure he is punished to the full extent of the law.

Throw that thing you found out in a far away trashcan.

 
Old 03-01-2011, 01:20 PM   #7
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Re: I Get the feeling B/F Spying on my daughter

REPLY________I took the charger. I have it and I did some online reserch on spycams and I found ones that use a cord like what I found. Still not enough proof to leave my 6 year relationship with him. If I found proof I would not hesitate to action. So should I use the camera I got? Do I just serech his things? I usally go out of my way to respect his privacy (about his bills/banking/etc) and would never go into his closet or drawers. I serch the places I feel he is observing (my bathroom) and cannot find anything. I actually would have looked deeply into his things by now, but he is always home (off on disability) so I have hardly any time to do so, and he would see right away I had looked into his stuff. If he is innocent it would be terrible to break his trust in these ways. I find it hard to do. I even asked him if I could look into his stuff. He said no. He has a Dr. Appointment tomorrow and I usually go, but I am considering just staying home and serching the stuff. Even tho he will notice and be angry. HOWEVER< I feel he is smart enough to anticipate this and would likely move/take with him any evidence from our room.

 
Old 03-01-2011, 01:23 PM   #8
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Re: I Get the feeling B/F Spying on my daughter

Hi ,yes I do watch likea hawk, and have searched the bathroom. But it's a place people go into and shut the door for long periods of time, so it's hard to decern whats going on in there. I watch him and then I go in there after every time he does to look. No Luck.

 
Old 03-01-2011, 01:25 PM   #9
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Re: I Get the feeling B/F Spying on my daughter

" I even asked him if I could look into his stuff. He said no. "
Six years and for the sake of him, you, and your daughter says no.
To me, that would be enought right there to throw him out.

 
Old 03-01-2011, 01:30 PM   #10
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Re: I Get the feeling B/F Spying on my daughter

I agree it should not be aproblem for me to view his items. Theres nothing I hide from him, and I know he has regular type porn and so thats not what he would be afarid of me finding.If he accused me of something that could be resolved by a look through my things I would not hesitate. He made a big deal and said that I was sick and he shouldn't have to let me look, I should have trust. Well, I obvioulsy do not trust him. My gut does not.

 
Old 03-01-2011, 01:31 PM   #11
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Re: I Get the feeling B/F Spying on my daughter

get rid of him....that's enough of a reason.....

 
Old 03-01-2011, 01:35 PM   #12
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Re: I Get the feeling B/F Spying on my daughter

I am inclined to begin to agree. It's hard to do this, because it breaks everything I thought I was living. If this is true, he is a monster and I know it, It's just that addmitting this is admitting what evil there is, what a sucker I am and what a waste the last 6 years were. It makes me feel unreal. And scared of other people.

 
Old 03-01-2011, 03:33 PM   #13
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Re: I Get the feeling B/F Spying on my daughter

Why exactly do you think he is spying on your daughter? Do you have any sort of proof or did it randomly pop up into your head that "he is watching my daughter in the bathroom"? When I first read this, I honestly thought you sounded a little paranoid. I have thought things before and been wrong and what I thought my gut was telling me was actually not accurate. So I would look into it more before you just throw him out.

 
Old 03-01-2011, 03:39 PM   #14
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Re: I Get the feeling B/F Spying on my daughter

im just wondering what started this gut feeling off? what didnt look quite right? he does suspicious though not letting you look through his things to put your mind abit at ease. hmmm i think its very suspicious. do you still love him? if no then get rid anyway.

 
Old 03-01-2011, 03:43 PM   #15
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Re: I Get the feeling B/F Spying on my daughter

@digmusic...
I hear you, I FEEL parinoid.
Why do I even think this could be happening?
It started with an image, clear as day, just like a movie or photo.
And I do not know if you read the whole post about the hookup cords I found in our room, that do not belong any where on any of our current devices.
It's things like: he goes into the bathroom before her shower(placing device)
he goes in there again right after she is finished (retrieving device)
then he goes into our bedroom for a quick moment (ditching device in hiding place)
This is kind of odd behavior IF YOU PAY ATTENTION to it. I am usually occupied around the house and maybe he did not think I woul notice this odd cycle of actions.
Thats all I have to go on. I do have a spycam of my ownI got to try to catch him but do not feel good about trying to use it.
Should I just demand to look at his things?

 
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