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Old 03-01-2011, 01:38 PM   #1
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I'm Stupid...

So I posted a week or two ago...A lot has happened...And I need people to talk sense into me.

My girlfriend of two years broke up with me a little over two weeks ago. The first week or so, we still talked before I (being the more emotionally attached one) decided to try and not talk to her until this past Friday where she would have been coming up to see me and go to a concert we had tickets for. The Monday before (last Monday) however, she texted me about missing me. But then Wednesday I found out from her that she had already had sex within a couple days of us breaking up, with someone else, one of her guy friends she had been texting pretty recently.

After blowing up about this I cooled down and reasoned with myself, apologized over the phone and we talked that night...where SHE cried for about an hour. The next night, Thursday, we talked again, and SHE cried for an hour and a half. Then she came up Friday and we had a long talk where she still yet more cried about everything...about realizing she made a mistake, about realizing what she was losing in me, etc....but ALSO crying about something she knew she was omitting from me (she would tell me this Sunday). I told her I forgive her, for everything. Because I really do...she was single and had every right to do with whoever whatever she wanted to do...But yes, we made up, had a great time, and decided we were going to go through with a "full" breakup and actually cease contact after that day. End of story right?

Wrong.

She texted me Sunday while I was back home for the weekend saying, "Are you home? Because there's something I need to tell you." I asked her if it was something I'd like or not and she said that'd I would hate her because of it. I convinced her to tell me over text and that we'd talk about it when she was on break...The news. She actually cheated on me the last two or three weeks before we broke up, with the guy she said she had sex with already.

Okay, it didn't hit me that hard, really. With all the other stuff that's been making me sad or mad or both, the added information didn't really phase me. If anything it made more sense, because it was around the time she started cheating that our relationship started getting shaky (more arguments, etc.) and stuff like that. Despite that, I still forgive her...

NOW THIS IS WHERE I NEED YOUR HELP.

Tell me how stupid I am, because I FEEL REALLY STUPID. Wanna know why!? Because despite all this stuff...I still love her, and feel that when I come home for the summer, I might give her a chance again. I really want to, because I know from the three days of listening to her cry that she means everything. She regrets it. She knows she made a mistake. We all fall down sometimes. We all get dirt on our hands. There are only some of us, however, that take the time to wash it off. I feel she has done that, and while she would have to do a lot more to earn my trust back...I feel that she can do it...

But yet a part of me, albeit a small part, is so MAD at myself. It's yelling at me," LOVE IS MAKING YOU BLIND!" It's telling me that no sensible person would DREAM of giving her a chance again.

So please, everyone, talk some sense into me...I'm stupid.

Last edited by Adelais; 03-01-2011 at 02:32 PM.

 
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Old 03-01-2011, 01:52 PM   #2
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Re: I'm Stupid...

when you come home for the summer?
does this mean you're away at college?
if so, I would encourage you to find someone else long before summer......
don't waste your time on her, and all the time from now up until summer.....
it's over.....she doesn't deserve you.....you deserve better.

 
Old 03-01-2011, 02:31 PM   #3
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Re: I'm Stupid...

I deserve better because she made one mistake?

 
Old 03-01-2011, 02:35 PM   #4
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Re: I'm Stupid...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adelais View Post
I deserve better because she made one mistake?
she cheated on you.....
it all depends on how important trust is to you......if trust isn't that important to you than I guess take her back, but don't be surprised when she does it again.....

 
Old 03-01-2011, 02:49 PM   #5
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Re: I'm Stupid...

Quote:
Originally Posted by rosequartz View Post
she cheated on you.....
it all depends on how important trust is to you......if trust isn't that important to you than I guess take her back, but don't be surprised when she does it again.....
People can't change you think?



I want to think she could change...

 
Old 03-01-2011, 02:55 PM   #6
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Re: I'm Stupid...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adelais View Post
People can't change you think?



I want to think she could change...
change what?
so you want to bury your head in the sand?
what exactly would she be changing? you can't change integrity, you either have it or you don't

 
Old 03-01-2011, 04:18 PM   #7
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Re: I'm Stupid...

Are you sure you even have the opportunity to take her back? How do you know she would be available to date you when you come home for summer? She could easily have moved on by then and met someone else?

 
Old 03-01-2011, 04:34 PM   #8
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Re: I'm Stupid...

I remember the other post where we talked about her and you. Of course, anything is possible...

I think this whole thing she did with the crying and admitting here cheating and lying were all for her own reasons. To clear her heart, to set her free of her mistakes. The things she admitted were keeping her up at night, but likely did not mean to be taken as promises of a future with her. She obviously loved you and you mean enough to her for her to need to come clean.

She cheated, and lied and cheated some more. This is not a woman you can trust, she has ruined your trust already. She has practically rubbed it in...with all the admissions.

I would continue with the no contact, just to give yourself long enough for the feelings of anger and betrayal to come to the surface. Go on with your life, and when summer comes, I hope you are off on another path that does not include her.

Last edited by writeleft; 03-01-2011 at 04:36 PM.

 
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Old 03-01-2011, 04:59 PM   #9
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Re: I'm Stupid...

shes cheated. if you forgive her she will probably do it again. move on she doesnt deserve you at all.

 
Old 03-02-2011, 01:10 AM   #10
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Re: I'm Stupid...

She told you she wasnt "in love" with you anymore and that she wanted to see what else was out there. She didn't even have the decency to end it with you before she started looking. This wasn't even a one off, she carried this on for weeks before you broke up.

She doesn't respect you, and the only reason she confessed was to clear her own consience. She's given no indication that she wants to be back with you. Leave her to see what else is out there, you should do the same. You're both still young, plenty of time yet to worry about settling down. You're about to have a whole new experience, meet lots of new people, go and have fun and see what else is out there.

 
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Old 03-02-2011, 08:26 AM   #11
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Re: I'm Stupid...

Thanks everyone...

 
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