It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 03-02-2011, 02:54 PM   #1
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 45
dudders HB User
Do you think she cheated on me? help please.. feeling sad.

do u think she cheated on me while we were still "dating"? we are together now though but listen to this story.

back when we were dating her friends would tell me how sprung she is on me she would call me her soulmate and this and that. we had great times and i could tell she really really liked me. even though we werent together it felt like we were and she told me if girls hit on me to say i had a gf. one day she left her fb on and i saw a message from this dude who shes smoked out with before saying how much he likes her and stuff. she didnt respond but she told me she told him they should just be friends. but they still hung out a couple times after that and smoked out.

theres new messages where the guy asks to hang ou tbut she says she wishes she could but shes busy. (busy hanging out with me) but in the messages she seems a bit friendly/flirty but nothing compared to how she talked to me when we first started dating. and nothing sexual in the messages. the guy also seems hesitant and scared to ask her to hang out in the messages

i dont know why she never told me about this guy. and i dont know why she never told him about me. i confronted her about it and she confessed that she been hiding stuff but that she stressed that she NEVER cheated.

the guy even texted her saying "thinking of you" and she responded saying "sorry ive never mentioned my relationship status but im talking to someone. the guy responded saying "he was drunk when he wrote that and that he appologizes and saying thank you for your honesty". i saw these text messages. and they dont hang out anymore since then. she even deleted his number in front of me

part of me believes her that she didnt cheat . part of me doesnt. i mean if they did hook up i dont think the guy would take it that well when she said shes talking to someone right? btw this was a couple months ago we are now together. plus if she was cheating on me she would have let me go when i confronted her right? cause i did break up with her right away but she fought for our relationship. she fought hard for us and begged and cried for another chance and kept saying how nothing happened. and now we are officially a couple and everythings great. i know for a fact shes not doing anything behind my back. but sometimes i think back to this and wonder what if something really did happen? i wouldnt be with her anymore if something did happen back then and she knows this. but she said she wouldnt lie cause she knows our relationship would be a lie and she couldnt live with that. she also swore on a relative of hers who recently passed away. what do you think?

the thing is why would you still hang out with this guy after he said how much he likes you and stuff?

also it really hurts my head thinking about what she could have done behind my back and if she is infact lying... what do you think?

Last edited by dudders; 03-02-2011 at 02:59 PM.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 03-02-2011, 03:16 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 931
digmusic HB Userdigmusic HB Userdigmusic HB Userdigmusic HB User
Re: Do you think she cheated on me? help please.. feeling sad.

I would try to let this one go. You guys became an official couple after that stuff happened, right? The text message you saw about how she was in a relationship is definitely a good sign. It doesn't sound like she cheated to me. I have hung out with guys before that I knew liked me because I really enjoyed their friendship. Even if she did hook up with him, it was months ago and she's obviously committed to you now. I would try to forgive and forget and focus on the present and the future with her.

 
Old 03-02-2011, 08:30 PM   #3
Inactive
(female)
 
cryingforever's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: yorkshire, uk
Posts: 1,790
cryingforever HB Usercryingforever HB Usercryingforever HB Usercryingforever HB Usercryingforever HB Usercryingforever HB Usercryingforever HB Usercryingforever HB Usercryingforever HB Usercryingforever HB Usercryingforever HB User
Re: Do you think she cheated on me? help please.. feeling sad.

from what i have read. i dont think shes cheated. i just dont think she has. let it go shes your girl. i know it bothers you but i think you should give her benefit of the doubt.

 
Old 03-03-2011, 12:04 AM   #4
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 462
Ely4 HB UserEly4 HB UserEly4 HB UserEly4 HB UserEly4 HB UserEly4 HB UserEly4 HB UserEly4 HB UserEly4 HB UserEly4 HB UserEly4 HB User
Re: Do you think she cheated on me? help please.. feeling sad.

You weren't actually together at the time, so even if she'd done anything she wouldn't have been cheating on you. She does seem to have double standards though, expecting you to tell girls that you had a gf (even though you weren't actually oficially a couple) yet she didn't tell the other guy that she had a bf.

To be honest, I'd be a bit wary, it seems like she was keeping you on hold, and unavailable to other girls, until she made up her mind who she wanted to be with.

Last edited by Ely4; 03-03-2011 at 08:04 AM. Reason: Amended to be honest as the abbreviated form was starred out.

 
Old 03-03-2011, 07:50 AM   #5
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Seatlle, Washington
Posts: 153
waywardson HB Userwaywardson HB Userwaywardson HB Userwaywardson HB User
Re: Do you think she cheated on me? help please.. feeling sad.

nah seems like a desperate guy...probably just liked the attention.

 
Old 03-03-2011, 12:24 PM   #6
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 931
digmusic HB Userdigmusic HB Userdigmusic HB Userdigmusic HB User
Re: Do you think she cheated on me? help please.. feeling sad.

you think the OP is a desperate guy? I don't think so at all.

 
Old 03-03-2011, 08:46 PM   #7
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: paso robles, ca
Posts: 660
CadenceA HB UserCadenceA HB UserCadenceA HB UserCadenceA HB UserCadenceA HB UserCadenceA HB UserCadenceA HB UserCadenceA HB UserCadenceA HB UserCadenceA HB UserCadenceA HB User
Re: Do you think she cheated on me? help please.. feeling sad.

Quote:
Originally Posted by digmusic View Post
you think the OP is a desperate guy? I don't think so at all.
I think he meant the guy who texted her, not the poster of the thread.

 
Old 03-04-2011, 02:14 AM   #8
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 931
digmusic HB Userdigmusic HB Userdigmusic HB Userdigmusic HB User
Re: Do you think she cheated on me? help please.. feeling sad.

Whoa wait... I thought I was responding to a completely different thread. Yeah, the texty guy is like a lost puppy.

 
Old 03-04-2011, 07:40 AM   #9
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Seatlle, Washington
Posts: 153
waywardson HB Userwaywardson HB Userwaywardson HB Userwaywardson HB User
Re: Do you think she cheated on me? help please.. feeling sad.

Yeah I meant the guy who was texting her..the one the OP was concerned about. Just the way it is describe doesnt sound like a guy a normal girl would get with. The OP sounds like a cool guy and I think the girl likes him and the other guy was just an orbiter/ guy 'hopeing' that something would happen but never would. But she probably still enjoyed the attention.

Last edited by waywardson; 03-04-2011 at 07:43 AM.

 
Old 03-05-2011, 10:27 AM   #10
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 45
dudders HB User
Re: Do you think she cheated on me? help please.. feeling sad.

Hey thanks for the help guys. i have since talked to her to get stuff off my chest. i told her how it still bothers me and everything. she told me i need to move on but that she loves me. she offered to call and ask the guy or any of his friends if they ever hooked up or done anything while on speaker phone.

i took her up on the offer to see if she would really do it and she actually began to call. so i said nvm and that i believe her. Do you think that was a trick?

i also noticed she now has a lock on her phone which made me curious

 
Old 03-05-2011, 02:00 PM   #11
Senior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Seatlle, Washington
Posts: 153
waywardson HB Userwaywardson HB Userwaywardson HB Userwaywardson HB User
Re: Do you think she cheated on me? help please.. feeling sad.

Yo man.

I think it is ok to have a little concern..but you can take it to far. If you keep going through her stuff and snoopng around and acting insecure than your insecurities may come true. You are just going to have to trust her. If something actually happens and you find out about it then break up with her. There is nothing more you can really do. If you feel like she is putting up a lot of red flags than maybe reevalute if you want to pursue the relationship. Do what feels right.

Last edited by waywardson; 03-05-2011 at 02:02 PM.

 
Old 03-06-2011, 04:42 PM   #12
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 10
Channelno5 HB User
Re: Do you think she cheated on me? help please.. feeling sad.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ely4 View Post
You weren't actually together at the time, so even if she'd done anything she wouldn't have been cheating on you. She does seem to have double standards though, expecting you to tell girls that you had a gf (even though you weren't actually oficially a couple) yet she didn't tell the other guy that she had a bf.

To be honest, I'd be a bit wary, it seems like she was keeping you on hold, and unavailable to other girls, until she made up her mind who she wanted to be with.
I really think you are sowing the seed of doubt with this advice of yours. The girl did not do anything wrong. She did in fact tell the other guy that she was talking to someone, if she wanted to lead that guy on she would not have said that.

To the OP, I would not be concerned at all....and this is advice from someone (me) that likes to err on the side of cautiousness! She was honest with the other guy and it is obvious from the exchange of messages that nothing was going on. Be happy and safe in the knowledge that nothing untoward went on.

 
Old 03-07-2011, 12:19 AM   #13
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 462
Ely4 HB UserEly4 HB UserEly4 HB UserEly4 HB UserEly4 HB UserEly4 HB UserEly4 HB UserEly4 HB UserEly4 HB UserEly4 HB UserEly4 HB User
Re: Do you think she cheated on me? help please.. feeling sad.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dudders View Post
i dont know why she never told me about this guy. and i dont know why she never told him about me.
He did actually say she didn't tell the other guy about him, I get the impression that she only told him once she'd been confronted. She was keeping both of them a secret from the other, and while she may not have actually cheated she was dishonest.

 
Old 03-07-2011, 11:44 AM   #14
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 45
dudders HB User
Re: Do you think she cheated on me? help please.. feeling sad.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ely4 View Post
He did actually say she didn't tell the other guy about him, I get the impression that she only told him once she'd been confronted. She was keeping both of them a secret from the other, and while she may not have actually cheated she was dishonest.
Yeah.. And that's what I wonder about. It makes me feel sick to think I was being played. But she swears innocence and even was about to call people including that guy to ask stuff while on the speaker phone w me.

She also said if she was playing me she could have just got w that guy after I broke up w her when I first found out about the messages. Instead she begged for another chance. I don't know what to believe sometimes.

 
Old 03-07-2011, 04:52 PM   #15
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 10
Channelno5 HB User
Re: Do you think she cheated on me? help please.. feeling sad.

Quote:
Originally Posted by dudders View Post
do u think she cheated on me while we were still "dating"? we are together now though but listen to this story.

back when we were dating her friends would tell me how sprung she is on me she would call me her soulmate and this and that. we had great times and i could tell she really really liked me. even though we werent together it felt like we were and she told me if girls hit on me to say i had a gf. one day she left her fb on and i saw a message from this dude who shes smoked out with before saying how much he likes her and stuff. she didnt respond but she told me she told him they should just be friends. but they still hung out a couple times after that and smoked out.

theres new messages where the guy asks to hang ou tbut she says she wishes she could but shes busy. (busy hanging out with me) but in the messages she seems a bit friendly/flirty but nothing compared to how she talked to me when we first started dating. and nothing sexual in the messages. the guy also seems hesitant and scared to ask her to hang out in the messages

i dont know why she never told me about this guy. and i dont know why she never told him about me. i confronted her about it and she confessed that she been hiding stuff but that she stressed that she NEVER cheated.

the guy even texted her saying "thinking of you" and she responded saying "sorry ive never mentioned my relationship status but im talking to someone. the guy responded saying "he was drunk when he wrote that and that he appologizes and saying thank you for your honesty". i saw these text messages. and they dont hang out anymore since then. she even deleted his number in front of me

part of me believes her that she didnt cheat . part of me doesnt. i mean if they did hook up i dont think the guy would take it that well when she said shes talking to someone right? btw this was a couple months ago we are now together. plus if she was cheating on me she would have let me go when i confronted her right? cause i did break up with her right away but she fought for our relationship. she fought hard for us and begged and cried for another chance and kept saying how nothing happened. and now we are officially a couple and everythings great. i know for a fact shes not doing anything behind my back. but sometimes i think back to this and wonder what if something really did happen? i wouldnt be with her anymore if something did happen back then and she knows this. but she said she wouldnt lie cause she knows our relationship would be a lie and she couldnt live with that. she also swore on a relative of hers who recently passed away. what do you think?

the thing is why would you still hang out with this guy after he said how much he likes you and stuff?

also it really hurts my head thinking about what she could have done behind my back and if she is infact lying... what do you think?

It seems obvious that she hasn't "done" anything behind your back so don't let it "hurt your head". If she wanted to she would have! AND she did in fact mention to the other guy that she was too busy to be hanging out with him because she was busy with you. If you want to let this matter ruin things between you two....just keep on obsessing and you will soon achieve your aim. I would put the matter to rest and concentrate on the present and future after all she is with you and NOT with this other guy!

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Should I tell her he cheated?? Please help. HL887 Relationship Health 8 06-15-2010 09:54 PM
I cheated Voltaire Relationship Health 48 03-16-2010 10:24 AM
I think my husband is cheating???? brooklynngruber Relationship Health 10 07-27-2008 10:28 PM
advice please- i don't think i can/will forget damage done... februarynight Relationship Health 10 05-30-2008 03:09 PM
Wife Cheated Not Sure What To Do needing help 65 Relationship Health 7 12-12-2006 10:20 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Kszan (272), rosequartz (254), pendulum (172), Larrylou'smom (164), Seraph (155), cryingforever (132), CadenceA (131), lenvegas (95), writeleft (83), Ely4 (62)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1166), MSJayhawk (1000), Apollo123 (899), Titchou (835), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (758), ladybud (747), sammy64 (668), midwest1 (665), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:08 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!