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Old 03-05-2011, 09:30 PM   #1
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I don't think i love my husband

Hello everyone. This is my first post on here and I'm hoping someone can help me out. I had a miscarriage this past new years eve. And ever since I have been really down and sad about everything. I'm finding it even difficult to get up and take care of my 21 month old son which is horrible I know. I'm the happiest when i can get out at night and just take a drive all by myself. Idk why. And lately i have found my self wondering if I even love my husband as a husband. It's stArting to reel more like a best friend type of love. I mean he is so supportive of me and an awesome father. I don't know whats wrong with me. I don't even want kiss him anymore. Even though he is still very attractive. If we were to divorce I think i would be fine with it but i can't do that to my son. What am i supposed to do. It's becoming hard to function with all these sad thoughs all the time.

 
Old 03-06-2011, 01:54 AM   #2
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Re: I don't think i love my husband

Hi.

I think the idea that you don't love your husband any more (I'm assuming you loved him once) is probably one of the consequences of a depression. You lost a baby and that can be pretty hard on a woman. Maybe it would help you to think that you lost that baby for a reason. Perhaps he or she would be born with a major defect, what do I know, that would make life very hard for all of you.

You have a few options, and the easiest one is to see a doctor. I hope you can find one whose approach is not only based on drugs.

By the way, haven't your husband noticed anything different about you?

I would also suggest you the following:

a) Check your current diet to see if you are eating enough protein. Lack of protein can increase depression. Avoid junk food. Try to eat as healthily as possible.

b) Are you sleeping well? Are you dreaming? Lack of sleep can also produce depression.

c) Exercise. Work out if your condition permits. Rather than driving your car, take a walk, preferably in nature, in the woods, whatever. You need to be in contact with nature, to breathe pure air, to see the colours and to hear the sounds of nature. This helps with depression.

d) If you have friends, go and meet them or invite them to your house. Let your husband partake in these encounters.

e) You might need the help of someone to look after your son. Don't hesitate to ask someone's help or to hire someone.

f) What do you like to do? Reading? Cooking? Gardening? Sewing? Writing? Please find some time to do it, for idle time can also increase depression.

g) And finally keep in your mind that this is just a phase and in a few weeks or months you will look back just to say: "I overcame it."

Please keep us posted.

Last edited by pendulum; 03-06-2011 at 01:55 AM.

 
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Old 03-06-2011, 02:53 AM   #3
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Re: I don't think i love my husband

I'm so sorry for your loss. What you are going through now is more than likely a consequence of that.

Don't make any hasty decisions right now that you may regret in the future.

Have you spoken to your doctor about what you are feeling? Some bereavement counseling may help you move past this difficult stage.

 
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