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Old 03-13-2011, 06:05 PM   #1
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i still love my abuser...

im still in love with my ex.. she was my first love, my first girlfriend and the first girl i had sex with.. but she left.. i know i shouldnt love her and want her still cos she mentally and physicly abused me.. i cant let her go tho.. when we where dating she always told me i was annoying, and she would ignore me all the time and get mad because i was upset about it. and when i was upset about something she would just get mad. she also cheated and got mad when i got paranoid and coldnt trust her... she called me stupid all the time and made me feel so little..i felt like a dumb little kid.. then when she moved away i hadnt seen her in forever n i missed her, well she ignored me the whole day to be with the boy she liked and when i finally got to see her i tryed to hug and kiss her but she kept slapping and punching me... it hurt..not just physicly.. /: she broke up with me later that day for that boy and i still love her... i miss her and i cant let go... idk what to do im so depressed without her...

Last edited by Administrator; 03-13-2011 at 10:44 PM.

 
Old 03-14-2011, 07:28 AM   #2
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Re: i still love my abuser...

How recent was the break-up? I think that what you are feeling and going through happens to a few people just after a break-up. It is like clutching at straws. They can't think properly and are unable to see how good it was for them to get rid of an abuser. It takes time... You say you are depressed without her, but you would also be depressed with her, since she treated you like crap and probably she will treat her new boy-friend like crap, too. So I would advise you to do something about your depression only, because your depression is the real fact. She is unreal. Please see a doctor or a counselor.

 
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Old 03-14-2011, 12:44 PM   #3
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Unhappy Re: i still love my abuser...

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Originally Posted by pendulum View Post
How recent was the break-up? I think that what you are feeling and going through happens to a few people just after a break-up. It is like clutching at straws. They can't think properly and are unable to see how good it was for them to get rid of an abuser. It takes time... You say you are depressed without her, but you would also be depressed with her, since she treated you like crap and probably she will treat her new boy-friend like crap, too. So I would advise you to do something about your depression only, because your depression is the real fact. She is unreal. Please see a doctor or a counselor.
well.. this is our 3rd break up.. and it was a couple weeks ago.. and i understand it might be better without her but i really honestly loved her.. ik im "too young" to know if i was in love or whatever but i was. and its not that easy to forget about her cos when ever i finnaly can move on enough to be happy with someone else she just comes back and says shes sorry and loves me and wants me forever and i take her back because i love her. she keeps using this against me.... /:

 
Old 03-14-2011, 01:25 PM   #4
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Re: i still love my abuser...

Maybe you can move on? I know the depression came from the break up. If you see more new people or girls, you could find someone who does not look down upon you. Frankly if a girl is abusive like that, she has some emotional issue herself and it is not fair to put you in the spot. Until she gets therapy or decides to change this thing, you are bound to get hurt again and again. Why go to the fire like a moth?

If two of you really move on to see other people, maybe one day you could be friends. Some people have mental issues and are just emotionally abusive. This is not uncommon.

Take care,
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Old 03-14-2011, 05:19 PM   #5
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Re: i still love my abuser...

but what did i do wrong? i really dont understand what i did to make her yell and hit... i tryed to be a great girlfriend by makins sure her needs came first and i tryed really hard.. she still left and was mean.. im not sure what i did,..

 
Old 03-14-2011, 05:24 PM   #6
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Re: i still love my abuser...

My point is it is not you that caused her actions. It is her personal problem and she put it on you when there is a little trigger here and there. e.g., if she was abused by her father, then she would be abusive to you because it is her emotional outlet. You may do a little thing that is just trivial and she may be emotional about it.
You did nothing wrong.

Maybe you need some other girl who is more stable to you.

NC

 
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Old 03-15-2011, 11:02 AM   #7
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Re: i still love my abuser...

What happened to your fiance and the baby? Are you still with the guy? Or did he get fed up with this ex-drama and leave?

You didn't do anything to make her abusive, she just is. She is sick in the head and needs therapy to work through what makes her so angry all the time. You should not keep contacting her because she is only going to keep abusing you unless she gets help for her mental problems. Why would you want to be with someone who does nothing but hit you and make you feel bad, anyway? You're better off on your own to set a good example for your kid that it's not okay to stay in an abusive relationship.

 
Old 03-15-2011, 11:06 AM   #8
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Re: i still love my abuser...

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What happened to your fiance and the baby? Are you still with the guy? Or did he get fed up with this ex-drama and leave?

You didn't do anything to make her abusive, she just is. She is sick in the head and needs therapy to work through what makes her so angry all the time. You should not keep contacting her because she is only going to keep abusing you unless she gets help for her mental problems. Why would you want to be with someone who does nothing but hit you and make you feel bad, anyway? You're better off on your own to set a good example for your kid that it's not okay to stay in an abusive relationship.
wait a minute what? what kid? i didnt know 2 teenage girls could make a kid together? and what guy? there is no guy or baby. **** man, im 15 n a chick. we r both chicks.

 
Old 03-15-2011, 11:56 AM   #9
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Re: i still love my abuser...

Sorry, your post is identical, practically word-for-word, to another girl who posted here multiple times about her ex-girlfriend who was her first ever girlfriend, who was very abusive all the time to her, but she kept going back to her anyway, but meanwhile she had a fiance and she was pregnant with his baby, but she was still carrying on with this abusive ex who was a total psychopath. Your story is exactly like hers except for the guy and the baby. Weird.

 
Old 03-15-2011, 12:54 PM   #10
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Re: i still love my abuser...

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Originally Posted by Tivo123 View Post
Sorry, your post is identical, practically word-for-word, to another girl who posted here multiple times about her ex-girlfriend who was her first ever girlfriend, who was very abusive all the time to her, but she kept going back to her anyway, but meanwhile she had a fiance and she was pregnant with his baby, but she was still carrying on with this abusive ex who was a total psychopath. Your story is exactly like hers except for the guy and the baby. Weird.
oh dude that is weird O_o

 
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