I'm blown away right now...as of last week everything was great with my bf. We went to lunch had a great time and were supposed to see each other today. He texts me yesterday and says he has to go out of town to see his mom bc she's sick...it seemed kind of strange so I called his office today and he answered the phone!! Please tell me why he lied...he could have just said he was busy, why the elaborate lie about his mom?? I'm so hurt/disgusted and feel like an idiot...what else has he lied to me about? what do I do now...will he contact me again and if he does what do I do? Hate myself and him right now
when he answered did you say anything?
If not, i'd call back and when he picks up again, act surprised, and say "oh, i was just calling to leave a message to tell you I miss you, while you were off visiting your mom, you're back already?"
I hung up when he answered...I thought about calling back and busting him, but we always communicate by cell phone so he'd know I was checking up on him. In his text he wrote "not sure when I'll be back." ***?? Thought about texting and saying "I'm really worried about u is everything ok?" Or something and see what he says...if he keeps lying or what?
Maybe he still didn't leave town but will after office?
Just check through text what he tells you. Ask if he's already there or something like that. If he tells you he's with his mom, call to his office and do what Rose told you to... I think that'd be a good way to find out... Let us know what you find out!
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* Excuse my sometimes poor English, it's not my primary language *
I often forward my work number to my cell phone when I won't be in the office, just to make sure people can get in touch with me when I'm not there. Is it possible that he forwarded his phone?
I have to ask if this is the guy who broke up with you via text and with whom you have been on again/off-again for a long time? If so, then I would say, what did you expect from this guy? The whole multiple-break-up-and-get-back-together thing never works out.
I didn't think about the phone forwarding thing...that's my last ray of hope that he's not a complete scumbag. He answered after like 2 rings. And his voicemail doesn't say he's out of the office, but I suppose he could be working from there? We haven't talked or texted today...should I initiate?
Yes this is text breakup guy...he begged forme to take him back after that and it has been great, I had literally no sign anything was wrong before this. So confused.
Not sure what to tell ya. Any guy who is cheesy enough to break it off via text message doesn't deserve a second chance, but you gave it to him anyway. He doesn't sound like much of a catch.
Would it be the worst thing if this didn't work out, honestly? If it's true that he lied to you, that would be such a stupid thing for him to lie about, too. If he didn't want to see you, he should have just said he wanted a day or two to himself or whatever. He didn't have to lie about it!
We texted yesterday and he was supposedly still at his moms and driving home today...I never said anything about him answering work phone. So either he did the phone forwarding and I'm overly paranoid, or he's a complete liar. I really don't know but tivo it does seem like a very unneccesary lie...why would he make up this elaborate story about his mom when he could just say he's busy or whatever?
Probably part of the reason I'm less trusting of him is bc of the text breakup. So what to do now...he didn't say anything about when we'll see each other when he gets back, and I'm not going to suggest anything. Think I'll just be less eager and see what happens...
Why did you think it was strange when he said he had to go out of town because his mom was sick? If you hadn't have thought it was strange you wouldn't have rang his work number.
Do you know for sure he was with his mom? Could he have been with someone else? I'd trust your gut instincts on this one, especially after the way he dumped you last time.
I have to say that I don't know the hystory behind your couple, but the only fact of you being suspicious, it's not a good couple sign.
Would you remain in a couple where you can't trust every word he says? What's the point in living stressing out like this?
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* Excuse my sometimes poor English, it's not my primary language *
I don't really understand why you're making plans to be less eager and stuff like that. Why don't you just ask him?? Tell him you called and he answered his work phone when he said he was at his Mom's. Listen to what he says, but how he responds and his body language is usually more telling than his words.
The following user gives a hug of support to digmusic: blize (03-17-2011)
Update...he texts me yesterday and says how much he misses me and wants to see me...so we makes plans to see each other today. Well end of the day he writes and flakes. So I do a little checking and turns out he is back on the dating site where we met, pursuing other women!! First of all WHY does he tell me he misses me/wants to see me??and clearly I'm ending it, but do I a) confront him, b)break up w no explanation to hurt his ego a little, c) stop communication w no explanation, or my personal fave d) set up a fake profile and mess w him on the dating site? I am so hurt...I just need some pride back...
oohh i've done the fake profile, and have even suggested it to women trying to find out if their guy is cheating, but that is usually when they met him on the dating site, and he hasn't taken his profile down.....
in your case, I don't know if you want to expend the energy with that, because you KNOW the deal.....he shouldn't have been on there....it's not a case of he "just didn't take his profile down yet"
I'd probably stop communicating with no explanation.....at least for now.....
1 to hide
2 to gain
3for personal resons
4 for the fun of it
i like to lie to find other peoples lie and then write it down for study .... i know i know its wrong and probly a horrible thing to do to people but it times like these where it comes in handy to know it .... for the sake of it lets just pertend like hes not .... he has nothing to gain from it so it wont be 2. and he sounds like the type that wouldnt cheat of inst-eek so i im going to rule out 1 and your left with just 3 and 4 but thats all how you want to look at it .... you detriment what it will be though your own know how mix with what i have given you and i hope it all wokers out in the end ........... even though im two days late in respond ><
This kind of thing really gets me angry! What is wrong with people that they can't just be honest and say, hey sorry it's not working out. Is it really that hard to just tell the person instead of stringing them along while trolling for someone new online?
So, you know he is a coward and he won't tell you the truth, so I suggest you don't reply and don't talk to him anymore. Let him wonder what happened to you and why you suddenly disappeared because he doesn't deserve an explanation!
I feel really stupid...makes me sick to think he's probably been juggling other women with me, flirting etc etc all the while telling me how much he misses me and needs to see me. My first instinct was to just ignore any communication from now on...although today nothing so far, probably out w someone else. Then I thought it would be satisfying to break up w him so its not open-ended, but I think ur both right, just don't respond if he writes. Better to let him wonder if he even cares a tiny bit...
Nah, don't feel stupid. He is the creep. You can walk away from this with your integrity, knowing you conducted yourself in an honest and loyal manner. He, on the other hand knows what a scumbag he is and he has to live with that knowledge for the rest of his pathetic life. You're coming out of this on top, just remember that!
Why don't you just break up with him the same way he did it with you, on text! I know it sound childish but at least it would you him how disrespectful that behavior is, I know it would make me feel better!
I'm blown away right now...as of last week everything was great with my bf. We went to lunch had a great time and were supposed to see each other today. He texts me yesterday and says he has to go out of town to see his mom bc she's sick...it seemed kind of strange so I called his office today and he answered the phone!! Please tell me why he lied...he could have just said he was busy, why the elaborate lie about his mom?? I'm so hurt/disgusted and feel like an idiot...what else has he lied to me about? what do I do now...will he contact me again and if he does what do I do? Hate myself and him right now
I'm more confused as to why he'd tell you such a transparent lie.
Surely he knew he might get caught.
On the other hand, I'm also confused about why you called his office, if you believed he was out of town visiting his mother.
edit: oops. Was responding to the OP. I didn't realize the thread was 5 pages long. Probably a lot more has happened.
I'll keep reading.
I am too prideful to let him think he got away with anything. I'd send him a text telling him "see ya," letting him know that YOU know about the lie about visiting his mom, the dating sites, etc. If he just knows you're breaking up with him, he'll think he's got one (or five) over on you. I wouldn't act like you care much though or are gonna lose any sleep over it.
Don't care if this advice isn't mature, it's how I handle liars and cheats.
