Hi everyone. I'm sorta new here. I've been reading the boards for a while but just decided to join today. I have a dilemma and would like others feedback.
I was going through a rough time. Someone burglarized my apt. My back door had been kicked in so I had to have a carpenter come in to replace it. He ended up staying about 4 hours that first time, then had to come back a few days later to make the place more secure.
During that time I felt like I bonded with him. We talked while he worked and he seemed like a really nice guy. What really attracted me to him was the fact that he stood up to my landlord and told him to replace the door instead of repairing it. (My landlord can be intimidating, even to men.) It felt like he was there for me in my time of need. I looked forward to him coming back.
During a call to set up his second visit he told me that he thought that I was sweet but he wouldn't mention it any more because he was there for business. During the second visit I didn’t want to seem overbearing while he worked but I periodically went in to ask if he wanted something to drink or needed anything. He asked me if he had offended me by telling me that he was attracted to me and I said no.
It’s been a week and I feel like a school girl, thinking about him everyday, hoping that he would call. (I hate feeling this way.) I’m confused. I think I might be attracted to him because he was my “savior” in a sense and he may feel a connection to me because he “rescued” me.
Is this a basis to pursue a relationship or is the attraction bound to wear off once I feel more secure?
I say pursue it. You never know when or how you're going to meet a good, compatible person. The first time I met my wife was in a group of friends-of-friends, and we talked for about 20 minutes, and I couldn't stop thinking about her afterward. I made sure to jump on the next opportunity where I thought I might see her again, and I did, and ended up with her phone number after that evening. Then called for dinner, and the rest is history.
You have nothing to lose, right? Ask him to meet for a coffee or something.
Yes, I would say "yes", but who can say if this is going to be a long or short-lived relationship? If you are really compatible or not? Only time will tell.
I think your question actually is: should I make the first move if he doesn't (probably he won't because he said he was there primarily for business), and in that case how to not come across as too forward?
Did he actually say he was attracted to you? You should go from there. Find a way of telling him that you also were attracted to him. Encourage him maybe through a text message, an email or a short letter...
Thanks everyone for the replies. pendulum, he did actually say that he was attracted to me and asked if I was offended that he said it. I replied no but did not let him know that I was attracted to him. He also made reference to not wanting to let that interfere with his job. I guess I am also wondering if I should make the first move since he hasn't. Honestly I want to call him but I am terrified!
I remembered that there was a small piece that he was supposed to come back and attach to the bottom of the door so I called him and arranged for him to come over and put it on. I'll let you guys know how it turned out.
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Well he did come over today and I asked him if he planned on acting on that attraction that he mentioned earlier. He said that he wanted to but I had "shut him down" when he mentioned it. I explained that I hadn't meant to and that the attraction was mutual so now we have a brunch date for Sunday. I am glad I took the chance.
I havent read everyones responses, so forgive me if I repeat something.
I say anything is possible. It sounds like a good old fashioned crush to me! Relationships have to start somewhere......right? So go for it! The good news is, with the economy in the tanks......if you make a fool out of yourself, there are plenty of carpenters out there who will be more then willing to take his job. Good luck!
We went out for brunch and he was the perfect gentleman. Then we took a drive along the lake. We have another date set up for this weekend to see a play and will call/text each other through out the week. I would like to pursue this and see where it goes. He seems to have a lot of the qualities that I am looking for in a mate (so he says) but only time will tell.
rosequartz - he is seeing other people but so am I. We are not dating exclusively. I told him that the only time that I will NOT be open to dating other men is if I am engaged or married.