Well, I started to date this girl- or at least planned to date - who is going to be an actress. She has this friend that was totally rude to me and when I told her that that is unacceptable she just didn't respond. So I dumped her. Was this a good choice, and how do I avoid this crap in the future? I have a paranoid personality disorder.
can you give more details?
how was the friend rude?
when you mentioned this to the girl you say she didn't respond....she said nothing? what did she say when you dumped her?
Basically here is the scoop. We are going to Tim Hortons to catch a bus home. The girls friend who used to date her years ago is there. He starts getting upset at the sight of me because even though they aren't dating any more he still feels threatened and doesn't like another guy being around (fishy, hey?). So she tells him to be nice, then he is polite for about a minute. They start to fight over the coat that he bought her and a lighter and nothing changes from the fight, and I start to get anxious and scared and have heart palpitations. So they stop fighting. then we're on the bus and he asks me what the fastest way home would be, which wasn't that way, and he says that I should have gone home that way. He then goes on to insult the girls friend, and kept making statements about the girl like (she's never going to quit smoking) and I know a way she can quit for sure. Then they had their faces close together and I got jealous and put my hand in between their faces and so next time she sat down he put his stuff around her and kept himself in between her and I, and put his lit lighter on her coat (on her chest) explaining that the coat is fireproof, and does the same to his, and then on the train he said stuff like "those police know me" (there were police on the train) and when they got to us there was no sign that they knew him and actually had to tell him to move something out of the way. I just think that that kind of stuff is totally absurd and rude for a guy who's thinking of dating this girl. Then I messaged her on Facebook about this and she didn't respond, eventually she just said "I want you, I've let go of him" and then when I dumped her she said "oh whatever break my heart why don't you, you already did anyways" and when I asked her how I had "broken her heart" before she didn't respond. She didn't respond to most of what I said, and still doesn't. She herself wasn't rude except that she didn't say anything when I brought up the matter of this guy. That to me is beyond rude.
It sounds as if this relationship would have never worked anyway. When you have triggers that cause you to have heart palpitations and other physical reactions, you need to move away from that type of stimulation. It just isn't good for you.
While the whole encounter sounds weird to me, I think you made a good choice to move on. You do not need a woman who is having her ex hanging around, for sure.
The Following User Says Thank You to writeleft For This Useful Post: linc (03-26-2011)
Are you guys still in high school? This is not grownup behaviour on anyone's part. The ex - obvious immature nonsense; her for not responding (embarrassment?); you for your schoolboy response (your hand in front of his face (sheesh, already) and for dumping her before even hearing her side of things. Bad case of lacking communication skills.
it was hard to understand all that, i'm confused, but one thing that was crystal clear....there's WAY too much drama!
don't worry about her, there are other fish in the sea!
okay. As far as the drama thing, well, I dumped her partly because she wouldn't tell me her side of the story. She didn't say a thing!
As far as putting my hand in front of their faces, they were just about kissing, and he was being defensive of her and I felt like I had to fight him to get to her. Also, I have mental health issues... I at least have a valid excuse.
Also now this ex guy threatened me with the police for messaging her and so I just blocked them both and told this girl I'm done with her for good, and I told the guy that there is no chance the police would care.
