I confronted my bf today about the fact that I saw he was on a dating site actively pursuing other women...he made excuse after excuse...talked about how he's been pursuing me so strongly recently (which is true) loves me needs to see me etc etc. He said the profile is down which is true. I can't help but be tempted but he lied to me.and hurt me..but I miss him so badly...help
That guy again? Really? What's there to miss about a lying cheating guy who isn't even man enough to break up in person? You're not missing out on some awesome romance or anything. I thought you broke it off after you found him on the dating site? Who cares if he took it down, there are hundreds of sites out there, he probably registered on several of them.
If it were me, I'd be way too mad at him to even entertain the thought of getting back together after finding out he was lying and cheating. For me, a guy only gets one chance, and if he cheats on me that's it, its over, I don't care how sorry he claims to be. I don't put up with being disrespected like that. And neither should you. You should value yourself more and you should never let any guy get away with all of the crap this guy has put you through.
I'm telling you, this guy is shady and he is bad news. It's your heart that will get broken, again, if you get back with him yet again. You already know this thing has no future. Why bother going through all the nonsense all over again when you already know the outcome? Seems pretty pointless to me. I don't see the appeal. I don't get what's so great about this guy that you're not more angry with him and you actually want to get back with him. I just don't get it.
If your little sister, a daughter, a best friend, or your niece was in your exact position and she asked you for advice, what would you tell her? Think about it. You want the best for your sister or daughter, so what would you say? You want your best friend and niece in a happy healthy relationship, so would you tell her to keep forgiving and hanging on?
When you care about yourself, you will gently give yourself the same pep talk you would give to that little sister -- and you would follow the advice no matter how difficult the grieving might be.