I have been dating a guy for almost 2 years. One of the issues we have is his ex-girlfriend. They had broke up 5 years ago and he claims they are still just good friends. They talk on the phone weekly and see each other about once a week. At the current time she does have a boyfriend, also my boyfriend is still very close to her kids, who are 16, 19 and 21, which I don't have a problem with. I guess the issue I have is that he has made it clear that he will never give her up and she will always remain a good friend, if I cant deal with it then hit the road. Sometimes she will call 3 times a week, and he said its always about the kids. Whatever issues she has with them she always calls him, she has a boyfriend and a ex-husband to help her why my boyfriend. I am feeling really jealous for I have never had to deal with this type of issue in a relationship. Now its to the point where he lies about talking to her or seeing her. Also since they have broken up he doesn't like to have intercourse, not even after begging him, he says things just dont work the same for him anymore, we have never had intercourse, just oral. I guess my question is, is he still in love with her and waiting or wanting her back. This has destroyed my whole life, it consumes me beyond belief.
He is still definitely STILL IN LOVE WITH HER!!!. And. . . he is unfortunately only "killing" time with you, while waiting for her to come back to him. "There are none so blind, as those who will not see". It's sooooooo easy to give this advice to someone else, rather than to take it myself.
I am truly sorry for what you have/are going through. I know how hard it is to let go of someone you really care for.
Best of Luck
Well, I'm sure you know how unhealthy it is to give away so much power to another person, any other person no matter how much you may love them. I certainly hope this hasn't really "ruined" your whole life. But he's made it clear up front what you were getting into. She's his first priority and you'd better get right with it and get used to coming in second or even third behind her and her kids. you either take it and be miserable or move on and find someone who puts you first at least some of the time. The choice is truly much more simple than you're making it, and it's entirely yours. And the fact that he's never had sex with you in two years, well, that's a pretty huge honkin' red flag. I assume this is also something that's just the way it is and you'd better get right with it or hit the road. Two years without sex? Like Greg Behrendt said in his book He's Just Not That Into You, sex is one of the great pleasures and privileges of being human on this earth. The one person keeping you from enjoying it should NOT be the person you're dating. He's made it clear this is how it will be as long as you're with him. You just have to figure out how much of your life you want to waste living like this.
END IT! What exactly are you getting out of this relationship? I would never be second best to anyone in a relationship. He is obviosly still in love with her...I wonder just exactly why they aren't still together?
You will always come second best to his ex. It appears that he is settling for you because the woman he wants is not available to him. Can you really live like this? Never having a fullfilling relationship, never having a sex life?
He's told you that if you made him choose then you'd lose, she means far more to him than you do. He doesn't want sex with you but was ok to have sex with her.
You deserve better than this, walk away and don't look back.