I dated my boyfriend for 2 years- it was very on and off. I was 20 when I met him and he was 28. He broke up with me last year february- then in april he moved in with his ex. I loved this guy, i mean there was nothing i wouldn't have done for him. So he's the only guy i've ever been with.
last night, after 1 and a half years he texts me saying 'i know this out of the blue but i wanted to see how you are and say hello.' he continued to say ' to be honest i will understand if you don't reply or tell me to ef myself as i have been a major douche bag to you. you were good to me and i'll never forget that'.
that's all he's said. i was ruined when he left me- i had to work so hard to get back up. i loved him more than my own life. now he texts me this!
please help me! what does it mean? what does he want from me? yes i still love him and would be with him tomorrow (as long as his gf is out of the picture). i'd appreciate your comments.
should i not reply at all?? even something like 'too late for a guilty conscience now'?....when he text me i was in tears all night- didn't know what it meant. whethere it was him wanting me back or him feeling guilty of how he treated me.
I agree, I wouldn't reply, either. What's the point? You said the relationship was on/off the whole time, what would be different this time? You said you did everything for hi and he repayed you be leaving and shacking up with his ex. He sounds like a total jerk.
At best, the most you could possibly get from him at this point is possibly getting your hopes up again only to have him get bored and leave again. Do you really want to go through all that pain and anguish all over again? I'm tellin you it's not worth it to even try opening that door again. You will absolutely 100% get hurt by him again if you do. Don't do it!
The Following User Says Thank You to Kszan For This Useful Post: honey 3 (06-07-2011)
if he wants you back, he will make it known to you......
he's tossing out a line to see if you bite......
he's sticking his foot in the door to see if he has a chance.....
probably whatever he had going on fizzled out and now he's backpeddling.....
The Following User Says Thank You to rosequartz For This Useful Post: honey 3 (06-07-2011)
what if he thinks i don't want him anymore and he then stops trying altogether. i mean i love this guy despite what he's put me through (and i can tell you he's dragged me through hell!)?? but i still pray that we can have another go at being with each other- i'm older than i was and wiser now. maybe it'll work this time??? i don't know. im stil trying to figure out why he text me last night.
i wasn't planning on texting him until end of july anyway as i have exams coming up and i'm scared i'll end up opening a can of worms and don't want to deal with it before exams.
or do you think i shouldn't text him back altogether??
i appreciate your comments ladies. i really do- i'm extremely grateful.
i don't want to do that. if i did that he'll think i've forgiven him and that we can be friends. but that's not true! ive told him i don't want his friendship! it's all or nothing!!
i want him to hurt just like i did. but as you said he's probably feeling guilty and wants me to sort of tell him that ive forgiven him. he doesn't want to be back with me! i'm just a silly hopefull idiot!
I think whats happened here is , he dumped you, moved on with his ex, now hes single, and he is texting to you to see if you are still there for him. If you get back with him , he could dump you again , go and have his fun and then he can come back , i bet thats how he see's it. Yeah i think he wants you back because hes alone and got no one.
I know you love him, but do you really deep down want him back if he asked you? I bet if you texted him back, his next text would be ''ive missed you can i come see you and catch up''.....then he would work at trying to worm his way back into your life.
well i don't know if he's single you see as on his msn page he has his name 4 his gfs name. so i'm presuming he's still with her.
that's why i'm so confused.
the thing is if he was single i don't think i would miss a beat being with him again- i know it's silly but i want to know inside me that i tried again and it didn't work. i know it's probably not going to work and he'll probably end up marrying his gf but there's a tiny little hope which refuses to die.
Well, do whatever you want, but I am convinced that if you got back with him, things would get bad again and you'll be right back where you started, being hurt and upset and sad. Personally, I think you're wasting your time with this guy. You said yourself the relationship didn't work countless number of times. You already broke up and got back together repeatedly and it never lasted, so I'm telling you it's going to be the exact same nonsense all over again. And then not only will you end up alone again but you will also feel totally stupid for trying again because you already know there is no way this would ever last.
I don't understand why so many women keep wasting their time with losers from their past when there are so many other guys out there who are ten times better than their ex's ever could be. It's very disheartening to keep seeing this happen over and over again!
well i don't know if he's single you see as on his msn page he has his name 4 his gfs name. so i'm presuming he's still with her.
that's why i'm so confused.
the thing is if he was single i don't think i would miss a beat being with him again- i know it's silly but i want to know inside me that i tried again and it didn't work. i know it's probably not going to work and he'll probably end up marrying his gf but there's a tiny little hope which refuses to die.
Its clear that you want him , and i think you will end up texting back to see why he is texting you , suppose thats the only way of finding out but its a bad call but its totally upto you. I just hope you are careful and strong. Just remember ex's are ex's for a reason , that means it doesnt work with them and highly unlikely it will ever work.
WoW - you sound just like me with my ex! sweetheart, don't let this text our of knowhere fool you, he obviously doesn't love you and you can't go back to him! I know how much it hurts and how much you want to believe this is some kind of sign he wants you, but he's just messing with your mind! stay away from him and don't reply, be strong! You've made it this far don't take a step back!
see how this one text, this one question has got you? it's making you crazy! a guy that has you acting that way is no bueno! pretend he never sent you anything, go about your business as usual, I did the same thing with my ex because I wanted so BAD to believe that we could work it out, but we couldn't! he never wanted to be with me but he always said "I can't let you go" and there I was again, all messed up, it's a terrible situation! save yourself the heartache!!
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Last edited by 00lady00; 06-07-2011 at 03:26 PM.
The Following User Says Thank You to 00lady00 For This Useful Post: cryingforever (06-07-2011)
He either 1. wants sex or 2. got into a fight with his GF and is feeling sorry for himself and needs the ego boost of knowing you would still drop everything to be with him.
Why would you want to give him either one of those things?
What have you done since you two broke up? Have you met any new people, any new guys?
My ex called me out of the blue. Turned out, he got into a HUGE fight with his GF, they weren't seeing each other, and he wanted to feel better so he thought he could call good old me and I'd jump at the chance to hang out with him so he could get his hurt feelings all better. Like heck! I didn't respond, and I recommend you don't either. PS: he got back with the GF and I never heard from him again.
Oddly enough I had the same situation happen to me a few months ago. I was with the guy for 2 1/2 years and then a year after the breakup he text me. He wanted to see how I was doing and he hoped all was well. He wanted to make sure I am happy because thats all he wanted for me was to be happy (so he said).
Our break up was pretty mutual we both didnt like where our relationship had gone. When I got the text the first instinct was to be nice and text him back and then I thought to myself. He doesnt really care how I am doing and he is probably just checking up on me in this egotistical way.
Its almost like the text was his way of feeling better about himself. One to get any guilt or last bit of feelings off his chest. Two to make sure that his life is going better than mine . Finally three, he wants to see if you have any last feelings for him that might give him the chance to " hit that" again in your moment of weakness. Lets face it most guys only text an ex after that long to see if there is any chance of hooking up again.
Turns out I was right...I found out from a friend that he had just had a huge fight with his current girlfriend and was somehow trying to get back at her by texting me. So dont read to much into it. Guys dont tend to think like we do. They dont analyze texts like that. If they got a text like that from an ex they would take full advantage of the fact that you are most likely vunerable.
Im sorry if this is not what you wanted to hear. I mean there still is a chance that he could be one of those rare men who have their exes in their best interest. With my experience those rare men dont exist!
Honey,
He is texting you to feel you out to see if you are available for sex and possible mind games/ drama.
Is it worth your time to answer his text?
He has spent his time shopping himself around to see if he has anything better on the market. Turns out, he can't find anything better than you, and if considering coming back. Sound appealing? He had to dump you and make the rounds before thinking you were worthwhile?
If you get back together, he will still be the same guy, same RL, same drama.
Block his #. Technology is your friend.
i agree with the idea that he's probably just checking in to see if you still have feelings for him (which you clearly do), and if he still has the ability to get you back (even if that's not what he really wants), or perhaps just trying to get laid.. It's also possible that he has matured a bit since the breakup and is just generally curious about your life and what's going on with you. With things like facebook and twitter, it's very easy to see what is going on in people's lives, and those types of social networking always tend to increase one's curiousity. I'll admit, I have an ex or two that I would like to check in on just out of sheer curiousity to see where their life has taken them and nothing else, no other motives, but I refrain, because I am in a happy, healthy relationship and I know my boyfriend would not be pleased if I started emailing my exes to see what's going on in their lives. It sounds like you are intent on responding, so if you chose to go down that road, keep it simple and brief. Say you are well, and spending time preparing for your exams. Do not mention that you miss him, still love him, etc, it will only add fuel to the fire.
WHAT DO YOU WANT lyrics - JERROD NIEMANN
This song is the best! Listen to it and you'll love it..
I myself am going threw a heart break!
Hope everything gets better.
