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Old 08-02-2011, 04:28 AM   #31
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Re: Kept in the dark....

You guys are right.

I told him we are finished and i have kept it up since sunday. Hes been wierd though making me food and endless cups of tea. I dont understand.

Help me create a plan to stop the feelings if they come but i doubt ill ever go back? Feel sick to stomach that hes lied for 2 years and all along he loves his ex.

I didnt tell him i am moving out , i want to leave when hes at work , but unfortunately i come in the living room this morning and hes layed ill on the sofa and i got to wait till tomorrow as i want him to be in shock coming home from work seeing im not there and he would hug me before i go and i hate goodbyes its best to just sneak away quietly and peacefully when hes at work. I can handle it for one more day.

 
Old 08-02-2011, 06:41 AM   #32
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Re: Kept in the dark....

i thought you said your dad was picking you up last night?
you're still there......hoping things will change, i bet....right?
when are you leaving for good like you've said??

 
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Old 08-02-2011, 12:17 PM   #33
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Re: Kept in the dark....

Quote:
Originally Posted by cryingforever View Post
You guys are right.

I told him we are finished and i have kept it up since sunday. Hes been wierd though making me food and endless cups of tea. I dont understand.

Help me create a plan to stop the feelings if they come but i doubt ill ever go back? Feel sick to stomach that hes lied for 2 years and all along he loves his ex.

I didnt tell him i am moving out , i want to leave when hes at work , but unfortunately i come in the living room this morning and hes layed ill on the sofa and i got to wait till tomorrow as i want him to be in shock coming home from work seeing im not there and he would hug me before i go and i hate goodbyes its best to just sneak away quietly and peacefully when hes at work. I can handle it for one more day.
Perhaps I'm missing something here, but why do you say you want him to be in shock... etc etc? I don't think this really helps you move on. You better let go of this line of thought. It is no longer of your concern, is it? It makes you stuck in this situation for ever. Please for a while forget about how he will feel or what he will think or how he will react. If you really want to put an end to this relationship, be selfish for once in your life and just think about yourself: about how good you will feel after you are free, even if it hurts a little in the beginning.

 
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Old 08-02-2011, 01:51 PM   #34
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Re: Kept in the dark....

no rose i said in the 'morning' dads coming for me. hey i am out. told him by text that i was off and goodbye. at my new place now. been shopping with a friend and bought a laptop so can come on here and other sites obviously its only a dongle but better than nothing. thanks for all the support. i feel okay. friend is with me. he tried to get me to stay but i said no and went anyway.

 
Old 08-02-2011, 06:28 PM   #35
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Re: Kept in the dark....

A plan...first of all, NO Contact!!! None. Don't answer his calls, don't read his texts (delete without reading), better yet change your number (yes, you can). Don't go online and look for him, don't check his profile page, don't read any emails from him and don't send him any. If you forgot something at his house, forget about it. Get a new one or go without.

When you start feeling lonely, sad or scared, tell someone (NOT him!). Don't sit home thinking "he was my best friend, I told him everything, I miss having him in my life!!" When you start wanting him, call someone else. Anyone. Just not him, never him. When you start trying to convince yourself it wasn't that bad, or it was all your fault, or maybe if you were more this or did less of that, you would still be together, talk to someone (NOT him!). When you find yourself thinking of excuses why you absolutely NEED to talk to him or text him, talk to someone else! The worst thing you can do is sit home thinking about him all day. You need to keep busy and you need to talk to someone when you start getting weak (and you will). Finally, plan some fun things to do that YOU like and always be sure to have something to look forward to. Like, take a class for fun at the recreation center, join an exercise group, learn to bake or sew or paint, buy some unfinished furniture and finish it yourself, grow some herbs or chiles and make your own salsa and sauces...anything. There's so many fun things to do and you are free to do anything you want. And have fun thinking of your own ideas and ways to stay free of him. You can stay away, but only if you really want to and only if you're willing to put in the work and not take the easy way out (going back).

 
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Old 08-03-2011, 05:15 AM   #36
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Re: Kept in the dark....

I starting thinking about this situation yesterday...sometimes certain threads just kind of eat away at me being bothered by the situation...this is one that has. I was thinking about how incredibly immature a man would be to tell his "friend" that he better not ever date his EX GF. And what did he do, tell the guy if he did he'd kick his ***? Then to post about it on FB when he is living with another woman? What, do you just not even count? How totally ridiculous!? And to be sitting there crying about his EX being with another man...does the idiot think she's going to be celibate for the rest of her life?

I get the whole thing about still being in love with your EX(the heart wants what the heart wants) especially didn't you say they have kids together...but at some point you just gotta move on and grow up! I think if this guy is that hung up on this woman and she doesn't want him then he just needs to stay single until he can get over her because that is just not fair to any person to be always second. Who wants that?

 
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