My mom is an addiction, wrapped up and secluded. She is in the same house as me yes, but might as well not be. She sits at the computer all day, even today skipping lunch. She won't clean or anything. But it is not only the computers, when I was younger it was cigarettes and alcohol. When the cancer took those addictions from her, stripped her of them fast, almost invisible to the eye but not on the health. She was lost and confused. The radiation and chemo only did more damage, to her every being. Her mind, memory and personality have went through changes outside my grasp. I know not who my mother is, she is but a vessel to me wasting her last years of life. She laughs at my confrontations, pushing me aside. There is a rage deep inside me that she is but one huge addiction. A person cannot be free when addicted to everything. She used to be addicted to Diet Cokes and would freak at the mere thought of not having any the minute her eyes opened to the day. Now it has changed to Root Beer. But let her have Root Beer, I say, what can that hurt? But why must she be addicted to everything. Why can she not be free and happy without the addictions. I feel sad for her, hurt that she is okay being this way. I am the mother, I tell myself, not only to my child but to my mother. I am in charge and she must listen to me when I tell her to get off the computer, to do the dishes, or go to the store. We are moving and once we do she will be active, she will go to church and she will get a job if possible. I refuse to let her live a pathetic existence. She might not realize it now but when she is on her deathbed reviewing her life I want her to be happy about the life she has lived and not have regrets about secluding herself from society for her last few years. We go to get a biopsy on Monday because they found a new spot on her lungs. After that she has a choice on how she wants to become an active member of the community, I want her to go to church, maybe she'd get addicted to that. That might work for her benefit. But as her daughter, she took care of me when I was incapable and now I shall take care of her. It just sucks because I'm only 23, a mother to a 2 year old and my mother. All the while I go to school and am hopefully about to get a job. I pray on that last one, my mom recently lost hers and now its up to my husband and me. If anyone has ever been in a situation where anyone around you is easily addicted to everything they do, please speak with me. I need guidance or reassurance my mother isn't alone!
Last edited by MyGr8estFailure; 08-06-2011 at 06:32 PM.
The following user gives a hug of support to MyGr8estFailure: tinkerbell45 (08-07-2011)
Well maybe you didn't notice the alcohol or the whole point of my story. I chose not to go into detail about how addicted to these she are. You might think you would want to change places like I don't know what an addiction is. My mother was addicted, she was abusive, she was suicidal. Just because I didn't tell you the details of her addictions is no reason to push me aside like you are better or your problems worse. You have a big wake up call if that is the case. Diet coke and root beer where examples of the smallest things she would be addicted too, obsessed with, crazy about. But you don't know what it's like so keep telling yourself your life was bad, I was wanting to know why she acts like this not find pity upon myself, like you. I understand she doesn't have a drug addiction but everyday tasks turn into addictions. I wanted to her to notice this and recognize it. We have plenty of other struggles I also chose not to tell because it's nothing I find to be your business. I'm sorry you think I shouldn't have wrote anything on this but my struggles go deeper than you'd ever know but the post was written about my moms everyday struggles.
I am sorry to hear about your struggles with your mother. I can only imagine how frustrated you are. In reading what you wrote, it is obvious your mother has a sickness. Has she sought help for depression?
"There's a big difference in playing the victim than in causing your own personal drama." -BK
An addiction is an addiction, no matter if it's to heroin or Dr. Pepper. I think it's really unfair for anyone to try to minimize the impact of it on the family of the addict. Addicts due to their personality turn into terrible selfish people who treat those around them like garbage and it's not a fun place to be.
The fact that your mom has an addictive personality is the problem. It sounds like she is the type who can't ever do anything halfway, it's all or nothing. I agree with you that if you could get her hooked on going to church (somehow), at least that would be something positive for her. And I'm also wondering whether she has ever been diagnosed with depression because more often than not, people with addictions suffer from depression of some kind.
I was certainly not trying to minimize your moms addiction issues... although you admitted to leaving out details, very important details that may have changed my answer.
I did forget to add that in your post you stated that it would be okay if she were addicted to going to church.... is it right to want to pick and choose what is okay and not okay for her to have an addiction?
Last edited by Mod-S4; 08-07-2011 at 12:46 PM.
Reason: Unnecessary comments removed.
My dad was a gambler he ended up losing EVERYTHING even the family home once my mother passed away because he had no-one to tell him no. I mean he still snuck around SOME while she was living to gamble but after she was gone that was it. Then last year he got sick he was diagonosed with Stage 4 Melanoma. Do you want to talk about a changed man or what?? No gambling, no NOTHING!!! I moved in with him the last 6 months of his life to take care of him it was one of if not THE hardest things i have EVER done in mt life but i would NOT trade one minute of it because of all of the memories that i have that NO-ONE else does.
Last edited by Mod-S4; 08-07-2011 at 12:44 PM.
The following user gives a hug of support to tinkerbell45: cryingforever (08-07-2011)
The Following User Says Thank You to tinkerbell45 For This Useful Post: cryingforever (08-07-2011)