My mom is addicted to everything she does
My mom is an addiction, wrapped up and secluded. She is in the same house as me yes, but might as well not be. She sits at the computer all day, even today skipping lunch. She won't clean or anything. But it is not only the computers, when I was younger it was cigarettes and alcohol. When the cancer took those addictions from her, stripped her of them fast, almost invisible to the eye but not on the health. She was lost and confused. The radiation and chemo only did more damage, to her every being. Her mind, memory and personality have went through changes outside my grasp. I know not who my mother is, she is but a vessel to me wasting her last years of life. She laughs at my confrontations, pushing me aside. There is a rage deep inside me that she is but one huge addiction. A person cannot be free when addicted to everything. She used to be addicted to Diet Cokes and would freak at the mere thought of not having any the minute her eyes opened to the day. Now it has changed to Root Beer. But let her have Root Beer, I say, what can that hurt? But why must she be addicted to everything. Why can she not be free and happy without the addictions. I feel sad for her, hurt that she is okay being this way. I am the mother, I tell myself, not only to my child but to my mother. I am in charge and she must listen to me when I tell her to get off the computer, to do the dishes, or go to the store. We are moving and once we do she will be active, she will go to church and she will get a job if possible. I refuse to let her live a pathetic existence. She might not realize it now but when she is on her deathbed reviewing her life I want her to be happy about the life she has lived and not have regrets about secluding herself from society for her last few years. We go to get a biopsy on Monday because they found a new spot on her lungs. After that she has a choice on how she wants to become an active member of the community, I want her to go to church, maybe she'd get addicted to that. That might work for her benefit. But as her daughter, she took care of me when I was incapable and now I shall take care of her. It just sucks because I'm only 23, a mother to a 2 year old and my mother. All the while I go to school and am hopefully about to get a job. I pray on that last one, my mom recently lost hers and now its up to my husband and me. If anyone has ever been in a situation where anyone around you is easily addicted to everything they do, please speak with me. I need guidance or reassurance my mother isn't alone!
Last edited by MyGr8estFailure; 08-06-2011 at 06:32 PM.