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Old 10-25-2011, 07:38 PM   #1
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Love-how long does it take to fall in love?

This "issue" has been brought up a few times among my friends, family and even on the healthboards. How long does it "generally" take to fall in love? I know most people will say that it truly depends on the couple and of course, the individual, but...more and more people are commenting on my "loveless" 3 month old relationship. We are just not there yet. Yes, he is not perfect, I don't want comments on that...I want comments on your opinion on how long it usually takes to feel love.

I am also curious, because with my ex, I was head over heels in love after a little over a month, maybe closer to two months. All I could see was him and the feeling he gave me was indescribable. I am not feeling that with my current boyfriend. I wonder if that euphoric "love" is really just lust. If this is the case, it would make sense my ex and I ended up the way we did. Maybe I was crazy about my ex because I was 21, young and idealistic and I failed to see any bad in him and just went crazy for him. I am older now and the guy I am with is older. We are mature and sensible...

Also, I have heard of stories about a deep kind of love that takes immense amount of time to develop because it is taken slow and you really get to know the person on a deeper level. Is this what true love is?

What do you all think? Thoughts? Opinions?

 
Old 10-26-2011, 05:28 AM   #2
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Re: Love-how long does it take to fall in love?

I would say that I don't know how long it takes to fall in love but I do know that what you feel in the beginning is lust and not love...IMHO. IMHO you need to at least feel that at first but will your love/lust feeling last...that's why I'd suggest to anyone to never make the decision to get married until you have known someone for at least two years. Personally I don't believe that crazy lust/love your feel when you first meet someone ever will last. I have heard stories of people that claim to have it forever with their partners and that it even gets stronger with the years. For me, I have never experienced that...what I experience is that even though I love someone, the lusty feeling fades away after a few months. This is all just based on my own feelings though...

 
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Old 10-26-2011, 11:54 AM   #3
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Re: Love-how long does it take to fall in love?

There is no time stamp on when you feel love for your partner. Like you have stated, you were head-over-heels within two months for your ex. But I think what is a factor is age and experience. As you get older, hopefully wiser, and endure more experiences with relationships, you tend to be subconsciously reluctant in making a jump to loving someone quickly as you have did in the past. Initial attractors will always be infatuation, but everyone hopes it matures into love.

Your current relationship is different from past, as all relationships are. Just enjoy and embrace it.
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Old 10-26-2011, 12:26 PM   #4
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Re: Love-how long does it take to fall in love?

Well, what DO you feel for your current boyfriend? If it isn't love, what do you think it is? Why do you continue to see him, date him, hang out with him, sleep with him? three months is a relatively short period of time, but I think it's long enough to form some kind of feelings for someone. Do you consider him a good friend? Maybe even your best friend? What are some of the things going on that make you feel you're not really in love with him?

 
Old 10-27-2011, 07:08 AM   #5
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Re: Love-how long does it take to fall in love?

Ive been with my girl for almost eleven months, now i feel that i too am in love with her. I started to reall feel something only after 5 months. Now u cant really put a time on when love will arrive, but when it does you'll know it. If you really feel for you boyfriend and he really feels for you stay with him but dont give you heart away for sometime. Just so you know when you love him. Now be careful not to mix love with lust. Lust is just wanting the person, love is actually caring for the person, knowing the person, really wanting to spend quality time with that person. Now love is different for every couple. So people cant tell you that ur not experiencing love when maybe u are just differently. Just trust your heart. Love doesnt come easily, but it will fall hard so be careful.

 
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