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Old 11-23-2011, 08:44 AM   #1
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Just Moved In - Boyfriend v. Dog

My boyfriend and I just got a place after dating for about a year. I only live there on the weekends for now, but the past few weeks have been hard. He seems to have grown increasingly anxious about the condition of the house. No shoes, dishes go in a certain spot, everything has its place in the refrigerator, he makes a comment if I bring food into the living room… those kinds of things. I can deal with those ticks, though they are concerning me a bit because I think he has some OCD tendencies which will not help my own issues with anxiety and OCD. What is really bothering me though is his attitude towards my dog. I have a 5 year old boxer who is very well behaved, but he acts like she is a total tyrant. It started out with her not being about to lay down on the carpet (because of all the “hair and dirt” she carries), then he started making a comment every time she sat on it, now if she is in the kitchen when he is cooking he pushes her out with his foot, he freaks out if she looks at him when he has food in his hand. He is always making little snips about what I push over I am what he would do differently to punish her. I’m really getting tired of this and it is making me not want to make the commitment to move in full time. I think he might have passive aggressive tendencies, which may be where some of this is coming from. I just don’t know what to do. I love him but I don’t want to be a house when I nor my dog feels comfortable. Am I over reacting? Has anyone else faced a similar situation?

 
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Old 11-23-2011, 09:55 AM   #2
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Re: Just Moved In - Boyfriend v. Dog

POOR DOGGIE! I'd get out before you have any more time invested in this whacko! JMHO!
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Old 11-23-2011, 10:26 AM   #3
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Re: Just Moved In - Boyfriend v. Dog

No, I don't think you are overreacting, especially if you pay for this place as much as he does and if you had the dog before you met him...

 
Old 11-23-2011, 11:48 AM   #4
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Re: Just Moved In - Boyfriend v. Dog

Overreacting? No!

When I was single, my dog (miniature husky) was my gauge of the people I was dating/seeing. If my girlfriend/person I was dating had a problem with my pup or my pup didn't like them, they would shown out the door. My philosophy at the time was "I had my dog before them and they will be there after them".

If your boyfriend is threaten by your dog, he isn't a keeper. Plus with all of his other passive aggressive behavior he doesn't seem like a person you should invest more time and effort with.

Ask yourself, do you don't want to live with a person that makes you feel like you are walking on eggshells all of the time?
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Last edited by baffomet; 11-23-2011 at 11:50 AM.

 
Old 11-23-2011, 12:00 PM   #5
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Re: Just Moved In - Boyfriend v. Dog

If I had a dog, there's no way I'd let any boyfriend treat my dog that way. The boyfriend would be shown the door and that would be the end of it. I'm serious, there is no way I'd stay with a guy who was such a jerk toward animals, that means they are bad news. Animals know better than people, that is a fact.

 
Old 11-23-2011, 12:47 PM   #6
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Re: Just Moved In - Boyfriend v. Dog

I agree wholeheartedly with everyone. This man will NOT get better; he will only get worse as he gets more comfortable with being in control. And he WILL hurt your dog - emotionally if not physically - and I would worry what is going on when I'm not around.

And if you talk to him about this and he agrees to change, which I'm sure he will, it will not last. You are in for a lifetime of this type of behavior if you stay with him. Good luck.

 
Old 11-23-2011, 12:56 PM   #7
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Re: Just Moved In - Boyfriend v. Dog

you aren't over-reacting....you are UNDER-reacting in my opinion
get your dog and yourself out of there.......he will hurt your dog if you give him the chance
i had a BF like this one time, he was actually jealous of my dog, in the end the boyfriend had to go.....when I have a dog, it's a lifetime committment
boyfriends come and go, and the way he is treating your dog is a clear indication that he's not a keeper

 
Old 11-23-2011, 01:21 PM   #8
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Thumbs down Re: Just Moved In - Boyfriend v. Dog

Keep the dog, ditch the boyfriend. Your boyfriend sounds controlling and maybe with OCD. Keep the dog, definitely.

When I met my now husband I told him I will always own a dog or three and that's that. My baggage. But the dogs are my security system, they don't steal, lie or cheat, and they let me know when they don't like someone. I listen to them.

 
Old 11-23-2011, 04:24 PM   #9
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Re: Just Moved In - Boyfriend v. Dog

I agree with RoseQuartz's opinion...you are under-reacting!!!

Not too long ago there was an animal abuse case in CA. in which the boyfriend killed his girlfriends' 3 dogs, because she gave them too much attention/spent too much time with them. He beat them to death. Pretty sad story!!! Thankfully he was sentenced to 5 years...not long enough in my opinion!!!

My point in telling you that tidbit is the guy you are contemplating moving in with full time WILL eventually hurt your dog if not kill her. This guy is waving HUGE red flags in your face.

I can tell you care about your dog...so keep on caring about her and get rid of the of the guy before you are left heartbroken!!!

 
Old 11-23-2011, 09:29 PM   #10
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Re: Just Moved In - Boyfriend v. Dog

If you're struggling with your own issues with anxiety and possibly OCD, then the last thing you need is a man who keeps you walking on egg shells constantly, making you more anxious, nervous and upset.

And I'm a dog person as well. My dog and I are a package deal. If someone can't stand my dog's "dirt" or shedding or whatever, then he's not the right man for me. I mean for Pete's sake!!! Getting upset because she looks at him when he has food in his hand??? Of COURSE she's going to look at him when he has food!! She's a DOG! A domesticated companion animal who has the insticts of a wolf on one level, who eat as much as they can while they have food because instinct tells them it may be a long while before they eat again, but she is completely and totally dependent on the humans caring for her to feed her. If this guy can't even stand a dog looking at him when he has food, then he will only make you and your dog miserable. He's not the right man for you.

 
Old 11-23-2011, 11:53 PM   #11
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Re: Just Moved In - Boyfriend v. Dog

Quote:
Originally Posted by Larrylou'smom View Post
If you're struggling with your own issues with anxiety and possibly OCD, then the last thing you need is a man who keeps you walking on egg shells constantly, making you more anxious, nervous and upset.

And I'm a dog person as well. My dog and I are a package deal. If someone can't stand my dog's "dirt" or shedding or whatever, then he's not the right man for me. I mean for Pete's sake!!! Getting upset because she looks at him when he has food in his hand??? Of COURSE she's going to look at him when he has food!! She's a DOG! A domesticated companion animal who has the insticts of a wolf on one level, who eat as much as they can while they have food because instinct tells them it may be a long while before they eat again, but she is completely and totally dependent on the humans caring for her to feed her. If this guy can't even stand a dog looking at him when he has food, then he will only make you and your dog miserable. He's not the right man for you.
Oh my God, I hate to say this, but after reading LLM's post, I kept wondering how this man would ever behave with his own kid or kids, if ever he were to become a father...

 
Old 11-24-2011, 05:41 AM   #12
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Re: Just Moved In - Boyfriend v. Dog

I was also thinking about how he'd act with a child...if heaven forbid the child spilled a drink on the carpet? OH and I wouldn't leave poor doggie alone with this whacko either. I bet he'd kick him in a heartbeat!
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Old 11-24-2011, 09:24 AM   #13
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Re: Just Moved In - Boyfriend v. Dog

Run, don't walk, out of this relationship. There are too many signs of potential abuse.

My momma always said, "you can tell a lot about a man by how he treat animals..." She is SO right!
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Old 11-25-2011, 12:37 AM   #14
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Re: Just Moved In - Boyfriend v. Dog

Your dog will always love you and you should take your baby (the dog) and yourself and leave him. I wouldnt trust him. He sounds cruel and pathetic. Dog comes first

 
Old 11-25-2011, 04:09 PM   #15
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Re: Just Moved In - Boyfriend v. Dog

I had a relationship with a guy and once finished eating and put my plate on the floor beside me and he freaked out. It reminds me of your BF and eating in the living room. It turned into a horrible relationship where I ran for my life. Get out now as he has issues. Do you see yourself having children with him? Imagine what he would do if the child poops on the carpet drops a cracker. Get out now. Best wishes.
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