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Old 01-02-2012, 06:07 PM   #1
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al1212 HB User
Loosing my boyfriend due to my anxiety and his depression

I have a boyfriend that I have been with for 2 years. The first year and a half of our relationship was perfect, and the last 6 months have been a bit rocky. This past year we both went through big changes; I transfered colleges and moved. He graduated college, moved close to me, got his own apartment and started working. He has had trouble with his work, had to switch jobs and has struggled to pay his rent. I have been dealing with a lot of stress lately, have lost a grandfather, have been worried about family issues, and overloaded with schoolwork and two jobs on top of it all. I usually only see him once or twice a week and usually am stressed and have to spend time working on my homework with him instead of focusing on him. I have always been an anxious person, but recently my anxiety exceeded to a point I never imagined. I have been experiencing many panic attacks, have got run down and really upset over small things. Throughout this hard time, my boyfriend was always there for me. He always said it was okay, he would never judge me and loved me unconditionally. He is the first person in my life I have ever felt really took the time to try to understand the anxiety instead of getting mad at me for it. Unfortunately, since he has been so supportive I let my walls down in front of him, and have taken out a lot of anxiety towards him. In this state of panic I often have blamed him for how I feel, or get my emotions so mixed up that it caused fights between us. But he never had a doubt about our love, and recently asked me to move in with him this summer. I realized recently that the anxiety was ruining my health and and making me really down so I went to the doctors. I was given some medication for panic attacks, and have started exercising more and talking more to friends, family etc. I am finally starting to feel back to normal and my boyfriend randomly breaks down. He told me he is depressed, doesn't want to live near me anymore, doesn't like his job, doesn't love me anymore and doesn't want to be together. I am heartbroken. He said that i "abused" him with the anxiety and even though he knows I didn't mean it and that I am sorry, that it is too late. We are currently not talking and it has been only 3 days but it has caused me to go into depression myself. I feel horrible he feels this way, that he doesn't love me, and that it is partially my fault. I am mad though because he never has told me once that the anxiety bothered him or that I needed to talk to someone else about it. I wish he expressed his feelings so I could have gotten help sooner and avoided this. So now I don't know what to do.. I don't know if he is just overwhelmed from his depression, and that if he takes some time alone will realize we can work through this and still love each other, or if he actually means that he doesn't love me. I am so heartbroken. He is not acting like himself and has always been so obsessed and in love with me (even after a fight) that I can't imagine he would just randomly wake up one day and decide it should be over. He literally asked me about moving in together and was saying how much he loved and missed me only 2 days before all of this.

I left it with him that I would give him space and promised to wait to hear from him, but the unknowns and pain is killing me. I so desperately want to talk to him and help him, but am scared he really will hate me if I try to talk to him and don't want to loose him.

Any help or advice would be very very appreciated..

 
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