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Old 03-01-2012, 03:20 AM   #1
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Concerned for her lack of concern

I told my wife that a lady friend of mine from before we met was coming to town at the end of the month.

She told me to go visit her.

I reminded my wife that I had slept with this woman before.

My wife replied "I trust you"

I reminded my wife that we have been having problems for the past year and recently she has been even been uninterested in sex or intimacy.

My wife again replied "I trust you"

I was expecting my wife to show some concern. Not to trust blindly.
Should I let this go or look into it further?

 
Old 03-01-2012, 12:34 PM   #2
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Re: Concerned for her lack of concern

she trusts you.....why is that a problem?
do you trust yourself?

 
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Old 03-01-2012, 01:24 PM   #3
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Re: Concerned for her lack of concern

I'd be concerned as well. It's good to have a little jealousy when you care.

 
Old 03-02-2012, 10:04 AM   #4
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Re: Concerned for her lack of concern

Ok, but I think this lady friend of yours is less important than the problems you are having with your wife.

Why aren't you working on those problems?

Her reaction would be normal if you were still sharing intimacy, but perhaps those words "I trust you" stand for a SOS, if you see what I mean.

And why did you have to remind her that you slept with that friend? This sounds like provocation.

Last edited by pendulum; 03-02-2012 at 10:05 AM.

 
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Old 03-02-2012, 06:32 PM   #5
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Re: Concerned for her lack of concern

Sounds like you want her to be jealous and you're disappointed that she's not.

Reverse psychology doesn't always work, you know. I know someone whose wife told him she wanted a divorce, so he responded "fine". She then cried, because she had wanted him to beg her not to divorce him. They ended up getting divorced. Reverse psychology can backfire on you.

If you want your wife to pay more attention to you and you want more intimacy from her, ask her. Don't play jealousy games.

 
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Old 03-03-2012, 07:39 PM   #6
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Re: Concerned for her lack of concern

Are you trying to make your wife jealous? Is there a reason she shouldn't trust you? I think out of love and respect for your wife, you should not see this lady friend.
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Old 03-04-2012, 06:41 AM   #7
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Re: Concerned for her lack of concern

It sounds like you were deliberately trying to bait her into an argument. Why else would you feel compelled to remind her of your past with this woman? That's not the way to handle this type of situation maturely. Playing these kinds of ridiculous mind games is something high school kids do because they don't know any better. But when you become an adult, you're supposed to know the importance of communication, using your words to express your thoughts and feelings - and doing so in a respectful way that will not deliberately hurt or spark and argument with your spouse.

If your marriage is in as much trouble as you say it is, I think you know that going to see this buddy of yours is probably a really bad idea.

 
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Old 03-04-2012, 04:22 PM   #8
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Re: Concerned for her lack of concern

I don't think there's anything wrong with your wife trusting you. Does she normally trust you?

You should consider yourself lucky that you don't have a distrustful wife - assuming you're not a cheating liar, of course, then that would be foolish of her.

 
Old 03-04-2012, 08:24 PM   #9
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Re: Concerned for her lack of concern

well if things are going as bad as you say they are, maybe she's secretly hoping someone else will take you off her hands? could that be a possibility?

 
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