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Old 03-23-2012, 06:42 AM   #1
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not sure... just not sure

I will try to make this brief...my ex and I split up right before Christmas this year. At first we were still seeing each withre every weekend until the first of February. Then he went cold, and was only contacting me once a week maybe...then nothing for 3 weeks. Well about 3 weeks ago, he has slowly started contacting me a bit. We have hung out the past 2 weekends. He even has given me a hug. I saw him Monday and he mentioned us hanging out this weekend...but now I have not heard from him. He has "liked" some stuff on mine on FB...which until this week he has not done since the first of February. I'm just not sure what to think. I really want him back, but am trying to play it cool. Anyone have any thoughts on this? Good, bad, indifferent?

Thank you!

 
Old 03-23-2012, 09:00 AM   #2
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Re: not sure...just not sure

how long were you together and what was the reason for the break up?

 
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Old 03-23-2012, 09:17 AM   #3
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Re: not sure...just not sure

Ask him what he wants.

 
Old 03-23-2012, 09:38 AM   #4
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Re: not sure...just not sure

We were together for 8 months. Had a great time together. Still do when we see each other. We split up because I was going through a divorce (he was not the cause, I had been seperated for 2 years before we met. I filed for divorce during the relationship and the ex bf was aware of all of this) and selling my house. I owned the house with my ex-husband, and we had to talk during the selling of the house. It just got to the point where I was overwhelmed with everything. He (ex-bf) felt I needed time to get my life in order. He said he still cared for me. He hoped we could work it out in the future. Well I have since sold the house and the divorce is final.

I do not want to ask, because I do not want to mess up any progress I "might" have made. At one point he told me that he was starting to date again, but wanted me to find out from him bc he did not want me to get hurt. That is when he went cold. I do not think they are together, or maybe they never were "together".

Anyway, I guess in my gut...or intuition...I feel that he is coming around. I have always felt that he is it...the one...and he felt that way too.

So, there you go....the short version of the story.

 
Old 03-23-2012, 09:42 AM   #5
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Re: not sure...just not sure

then you MUST talk to him.....
if he could be "the one", you're not going to mess up any progress you might have made.....things will work out
stop tip-toeing around this and talk

 
Old 03-23-2012, 09:44 AM   #6
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Re: not sure...just not sure

I guess I am not sure what to talk to him about. I mean we spend time together again, we text through the week. I don't want to rush it if we are slowly getting back there.

 
Old 03-23-2012, 09:51 AM   #7
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Re: not sure...just not sure

Sorry, I don't mean to sound harsh but if he felt the same about you, I doubt he'd be dating other women?

 
Old 03-23-2012, 09:56 AM   #8
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Re: not sure...just not sure

It's not harsh. It is just your opinion.

 
Old 03-23-2012, 10:00 AM   #9
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Re: not sure...just not sure

Have you read "He's not not that into you"? People from this site recommended it to me and it's a real eye-opener. It says if a man is into you, he will stop at no lengths to make sure that he has you. He will call you, not date other women and not make you second guess.

From what you've said, that's what his behaviour suggests. It's one thing to give you space while you go through a difficult time but it's quite another when he's actively dating other women and has told you about it.

I'm really sorry but from what you've said, I think he's let you down in a gentle way. But you should still speak to him to figure out what exactly is going on -- I don't know all the details!

 
Old 03-23-2012, 10:23 AM   #10
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Re: not sure...just not sure

Yes, I have. And until 3 weeks agao I would havea agreed. That is when we started talking again, seeing each other, etc. I mean I suppose he could just be being nice...I just can't see why he would be contacting me, seeing me, spending time with me, etc after he was basically rid of me. He is the one that came back to contact me. I guess time will tell.

 
Old 03-23-2012, 11:58 AM   #11
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Re: not sure...just not sure

Possible he was dating someone for a little while and one of them booted the other and now he's womanless and thought he'd come looking around your way to see what's up. I don't know but it kind of sounds like he's still keeping you at arm's length. It really couldn't hurt to have him over for dinner and spill the beans to see where his head is at.

 
Old 03-24-2012, 05:54 PM   #12
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Re: not sure...just not sure

What exactly do you mean by that, "at arms length"?

 
Old 03-26-2012, 08:16 AM   #13
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Re: not sure...just not sure

That's an expression meaning "being kept at a distance of his choosing". In other words, he's determining just how close he wants you and calling the shots, so to speak. Does that makes sense to you?

 
Old 03-26-2012, 01:33 PM   #14
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Re: not sure... just not sure

Yep...it sure does. He contacted me again last night after his work this weekend. Apologized for not getting back to me. Asked about hanging out this week. Guess we shall see. Thank you for your response.

I'm guessing that expresson is not a good thing?

 
Old 03-26-2012, 04:48 PM   #15
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Re: not sure... just not sure

Quote:
Originally Posted by danaroberts1980 View Post
Yep...it sure does. He contacted me again last night after his work this weekend. Apologized for not getting back to me. Asked about hanging out this week. Guess we shall see. Thank you for your response.

I'm guessing that expresson is not a good thing?
That would be a big fat "NO".

I'm really sorry you're having to go through all this but I honestly believe we're put exactly where we're supposed to be in the grand scheme of things. We don't always understand why but with time, most things in life take shape and make sense. It may be a learning lesson, it may be a patience lesson but somewhere somehow, you're where you're supposed to be. Roll with it.

 
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