Re: Girlfriend of 4 years lied & cheated, wants me back
I joined up to comment on this thread, as I have also been going through a very similar thing as yourself. I hope however, that after another year you are finally over your issue and that you are happy.
We had been together for 8 years, she is 26 I am 29 and we have 1 child (he is 7 on monday), I have a strong Career and my partner has never really had a proper job, but she started working in her mothers pub in July 2013. I would work away mon-thur and she would work Saturday and sunday all day, so we didn't see each other an awful lot but we would speak everyday. She spends her days in the week, cleaning in the morning and then lazing around the house until my boy finishes school. She doesn't go out much at all and none of her friends are that close by, so it's pretty boring for her and she has no luck when going for jobs (Lacks confiedence in this area) but whilst working in her mothers pub she was being chatted up by this 40 something male who was married with 6 kids and whilst she was working she was also drinking a lot. She would drink during the day and then when finishing time came she would want to stay out to continue drinking and partying. I never had issues with this as neither of us had a problem with each other going out, and as we had a child from a young age and she was looking after her little brother growing up (Mother was never home and no dad) I thought she would enjoy the letting her hair down and making a bit of money at the same time.
We got engaged in Feb and I can honestly say that I had never seen her happier. This lasted all of 6 weeks. Her and her mother had a massive row the one night in the pub about the way she was being with this guy and her mother found that this was inappropriate for someone who is getting married and this was a big row for the pair of them. For 3 weeks she sat in the house all quiet and wasn't really speaking to me much or anyone, and when I came home on the weekends I could see something was wrong. She was taking everything out on me all the time, I couldnt say or do the right thing, everything I did was bad. On the third week she broke it off with and we both kinda agreed that it wasn't working at that time. We split and then it changed, she then hated me, really bad. Apparently I propsed to save us, I wanted to leave the appartment to not be with them, when all I wanted to do was move to a bigger house. I bought her flowers because I knew she was down, but some how I was trying to say sorry for something I had done.
She changed so much since the break up. She was going out for whole weekends without arranging a sitter for our son, and just leaving him with her mum and turning her phone off after saying she was on her way home. This happened twice, and there was also plenty of times when she kicked off on me for no reason and even last week telling me she wished I was dead. No one could work out why she had changed so much, I mean even her mum and friends could see how different she was being. she neglected everyone around her to be with her new drinking friends. and then I found out that she started seeing this guy that was chatting her up not long after we split.
About 4-5 weeks ago I had texts off her bro/mum saying how she was upset and her head was in the shed and that if I wanted to mend bridges, then now was the time. I didn't want to mend bridges as I was still hurting and shocked by all this, but I needed to make sure she was ok as she has my son living with her. I tried talking but she kicked off and got angry at them sending me texts, it all seemed as if this guy had gone back to his wife (AGAIN) and she was just upset by this change. The only thing I did get from her was that 'My life is great and her life is miserable', she only argued with me the rest of the time. I left her alone and the following week I started getting abuse because my son didn't buy her a birthday card (He made her one) and I let him buy her a few things as well. I was livid that she kicked off over this, especially after all the **** and being with another guy. This was all on monday of last week.
On the sunday just gone she went out and knew I was dropping my boy home around 6. I messaged her and she said she was out. Ok no worries he can stay with me for a bit longer. Comes to 9:30pm and I get a call from her mum who is going nuts. My EX was still in the pub far from home and drunk. She wasn't even home for him. Well her mother had a go at her again and told her she was a disgrace (This is how bad she has been). I dropped my lad to her mums, but she had got home via taxi and said that I take him to her. She seemed ok enough to look after him so I left without saying a word. On the Tuesday I get a message asking if we can talk, and sort out the bad attmosphere between us before my sons birthday. This was the first time in the last 4 months where she wanted to talk to me. So we talked, she cried, I cried, she has realised what she done was wrong and the grass wasn't greener, and now she has nothing, when as a matter of fact, I am the one who has nothing and has to start from the ground up again.
She say now that she is sorting her self out and she realised when talkin to a friend that all the good things and bad things in her life she remembers are with me. and she knows no one else.
She neglected the house, our son, our relationship and this was not her. Especially with our son. I don't know what happened to her and I don't know if I could go back. But I want to and this is how I come to here. I might have rambled on a bit, but my head is still in the shed.
(Also I would like to add that in the time running up to all this, her father passed away and it was his birthday, she was due to have a coil removed which she had placed in after she lost a baby so many years ago (She terminated to protect her life from thugs and she has never forgiven herself), the house was a mess because a new puppy she brought back against my decision, had chewed the place up. There was a lot going on in the background.)
Do people just change? do people have a breakdown episode where they ruin everything for a period of time? it was as if she had gone off the rails and couldn't control herself!