Everything was fine up til recently. My fiance went over to one of our friend's house the other day and came back in rage. When I asked what the problem was she replied that she was upset because I still have several pictures of my exs. She knew this long before now so I really don't understand what the problem is. I do have them put in a box put up. It isn't like they are being displayed where anyone can see them. I don't feel it should be a problem considering it is a part of my past life. Besides she has pictures of her ex husband also. I have no problem with her having them. We don't get them out to show off so what is the problem. She asked me to destroy them and I refused. Why should I have to? When I asked her if she would destroy her pictures she said no because they were her children's father and they may want the pictures some day. What do you guys think about this situation?
This probably sounds stupid, but what about getting a lock box and putting ALL pictures of exes in there? That way no one has to throw them out and you can both move past this. I would definitely not throw away my photos if my fiance refuses to throw away theirs.
For what possible reason do you need to hang onto pictures of your exes? I'm assuming they are ex girlfriends and not someone you were married to? I cannot see any other reason than to defy your GF that you are hanging onto these pictures. Hey JMHO.
I have pictures of all my ex's. In a box. In a closet. Big deal? I don't see what her problem is. And as others have already said, total double standard that she gets to keep hers but you have to trash yours. Don't play that game. She is clearly not handling this correctly and you should evaluate whether you want to deal with this type of thing for the rest of your life.
I have pictures of my ex's in old photo albums. I've never had an issue with it. I don't get them out to show people, and only occasionally do they appear - if the kids are looking through the albums or something. It's a part of your life, the same as pictures of friends, and YEARS from now you will be glad you have them.
My guess is that the subject came up at her friend's house and she was told that if you keep pictures, that means you still have feelings for the ex's. You need to assure her that you love her, and that the pictures are simply part of your life that you want to keep the same as you keep photos with friends. They do not diminish your love for her; in fact, they enhance it.
If all else fails, you will need to make a decision whether it's better to give in for the peace or hold onto the issue. I don't envy you the decision.
Last edited by BigRed54; 04-26-2012 at 01:52 PM.
Reason: Clear up last sentence
It sounds like there is a deeper issue at play... your fiance's jealousy... insecurity... or what have you? Maybe focus on why she is so upset about you hanging on to the pictures and try to remedy that.
If she is feeling completely assured and safe in your relationship, there is no reason for her to act like that...
And personally, I don't think there is anything wrong with hanging on to pictures of an ex if you are over your ex.
Last edited by mistycloud; 04-26-2012 at 02:53 PM.
May I ask why you are hanging onto these pics? Personally, I don't have any pics of my ex.
But I do agree with your wife if she has kids with her ex. She can give those pics to her kids one day. And if something ever happened to him, she would have those pics for her kids. When you are married and have kids together, keeping pictures of your ex has a different meaning.
So although she may be acting a bit jealous, I think you should really ask yourself why you are hanging onto pics of an ex? (girlfriend or wife?)
"There's a big difference in playing the victim than in causing your own personal drama." -BK
Is it ok to hang on to pictures of our ex?
In a box in the back of the closet = Sure
Over the fireplace in a frame = not so much.
You are right, they are part of your life, and keeping them tucked away is your own business. I would never throw old photos out; they are a history of your life. My husband and I both have some of these old pics and it has never been an issue. Sera
I still have pictures of my ex wife, and my wife has pictures of her ex husband. It is no big deal to either of us. We don't have any pictures of exes other than ones we were married to though. No point in it. Getting married was a big deal and keeping those pictures merely show a milestone in our lives that led us to be the people we are. Ex boyfriends or ex girlfriends were mere footnotes and keeping them is of no use. Keep the pics of your ex wife and toss the ones of ex girlfiends, get her to do the same and problem solved.
Holy Cow, it's a picture for crying out loud! It's part of the man's life; the life road that led him to his wife. If any of those past relationships had been different, maybe the two of them wouldn't be together now. There's absolutely nothing wrong with keeping those. Like others said, in a box somewhere and not necessarily displayed. Who knows, the two of them may not make it but she'd still be part of his life. What's wrong with that?
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