Anonymou5

My wife and I have been together for nearly 10 years and married for nearly 6 years now. We both have professional/good jobs. We are both financially secure with neither of us being dependent on the other. We live in a nice house in a nice area. We have two boys aged 1 and 3. Both of us have reduced our hours at work in order to spend more time with the boys and increase our quality of life.

When we first got together the chemistry was definitely right and our relationship developed very quickly. We moved in together after just a few months. We had lots of good times, enjoyed lots of travelling and adventures together and we both had an active social life.

My wife is very close friends with someone she had a brief casual relationship with over 10 years ago. I have discovered flirty exchanges between them and an arrangement to meet up while she was away on business. They shared a hotel room (with two separate bedrooms) I only found out by accident! Apparently she made a move on him but he declined. The friendship has made me uncomfortable for a while and following this discovery by me things came to a head. Now I have said that if she wants to stay married to me she should leave him alone completely (i.e not contact him again) but she seems to be finding this very difficult! We have two small boys who we both love very much. We have always argued a bit but things got worse and then she thought
that she might be in love with this guy because he was paying attention to her while I was not. Any thoughts or comments on this situation?

Thanks to everyone who has taken the time to read this. You have no idea how lonely and frustrating this situation is (I have only told one of my friends about this) I didn't think that anyone would be interested. I am adding some more detail and background to this situation but it's taking me a while as I am looking after a demanding toddler at the moment!