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Old 06-25-2012, 12:49 PM   #1
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Girlfriend confused about relationship

Hello there I'm 24 and I've been seeing this girl who's 20 for almost 3 years.
4 days ago my girlfriend came round to stay the evening but I knew something was wrong. I asked her about this and she started crying. She's had a lot on her plate recently with just getting a new job also being accepted into uni. She doesn't have the best of home life with her mum who is bi polar and has depression atleast once a month. But she told me she's been confused lately and she loves me to death I'm the love of her life but she's kinda worried because she feels she doesn't appreciate me anymore. She says I'm amazing and she loves me. long story short I suggested a break to help her sort things out in her head. But it's ao so hard on me! Yesterday she text me and I'm not going to ignore her. She said that she's so confused about if she wants to be in a relationship or not but she loves me. All her friends bar one are single and go out and kiss boys etc and I'm guessing she's jealous of them but she's always said to be that she loves what we have and wudnt change that and that I'm perfect! Something she even said last nigt in her text! I'm giving her her space and no contact unless she contacts me ofcourse. She told me all her friends reckon if we end it she will regret it. We initially set a 10 day break and were in day 4 so 6 days to go. But I'm scared I'll lose her for good. I've been in relationships before and felt bad when thugs have ended. And I know times a healer. I'm worried about her maybe she's having an episode like her mum does... I'm more worried about her than anything and it's taking all my time up ATM can't sleep etc. I wanna know has anyone ever had this sort of thing happen before? Any advice is good advice...
Also forgot to mention we just got back from a weeks holiday away from everything and we both had a good time in guessing because it was away from all distractions at home etc but I dunno...

Last edited by Nashift; 06-25-2012 at 12:55 PM. Reason: More info

 
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Old 06-30-2012, 04:19 PM   #2
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Re: Girlfriend confused about relationship

Your girlfriend sounds very confused indeed . Did she give you any reason for her not appreciating you anymore? That sounds a little weird to me... I do know that when I was at a simliar age I went through a crazy phase. I didn't know if I wanted to be with my boyfriend or not, but most of it was because I just hadn't learned enough about life to know what I wanted, and how to get it. It may just be that sort of thing. There seems to be something she's not telling you, some way that you're not making her happy. Maybe you can ask her why she doesn't appreciate you anymore. Also, try to ask her if there's something she's not telling you. I hope this helps.

 
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Old 06-30-2012, 06:44 PM   #3
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Re: Girlfriend confused about relationship

She is simply too young to be in a long term relationship, and part of her knows this. Let her go and, if you two are meant to be, it will happen. Better to let her live a freer life now, than come to resent you down te the track. Sera

 
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Old 06-30-2012, 07:29 PM   #4
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Re: Girlfriend confused about relationship

. I agree with the others that you are right to give her time to sort things out. Perhaps you could suggest that she go out with other guys for a while. As you said, she could be envious of her friends who are going out with all these different guys, even though in her heart she loves you. So, maybe she needs to get this out of her system. That way she (and you) can know if you are truly meant to be together for the long term. You, too,can do this. You seem to be a very caring person, and I can tell that you will make someone a wonderful husband! You are very understanding of others feelings. Good luck! Mabent

 
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Old 06-30-2012, 10:21 PM   #5
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Re: Girlfriend confused about relationship

I think you're taking the right approach in giving her space and free time. My initial gut reaction to your post was this is not a good situation and will not end well. She already said she feels like she no longer appreciates you....so why would you ever want to be with someone who doesn't appreciate you? People would often say those things like I still love you, etc. etc. so soften to the blow of a break. She is also preparing to go off to university to experience a whole new world and meet loads of new people..I would say let her go and be on her own to try different things out and you do the same for yourself. And in the end perhaps work out..just like the old saying..if you love someone let them go and if they come back to you you know their yours. Best of luck mate.

 
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Old 07-03-2012, 02:27 AM   #6
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Re: Girlfriend confused about relationship

thankyou so much for all your replies. Yesterday we met up and had a long chat about things. weve agreed to split up. she is confused about what she wants she knows she loves me and is probs making a big mistake (her own words not mine) but like ou said she is young and she needs to kind of find herself, she admitted her home life isnt the best and for the moment wants to concentrate on herself. she doesnt love anyone else but me and just doesnt want a relationship right now and if she did or does in the near future she would fight tooth and nail to get me back.
im not a fool thou and i dont intend to wait for her im focusing on myself going to the gym and spending alot more time with my friends and who knows maybe one day we will get back together as we do both love each other very much, were basically best friends and when we were talking she asked if she could still text me. which ofcourse she can. but im applying the no contact rule for the moment so she will have to write to me first.
i know things will get easier in time and as we sit now ive already had 2 weeks of not really seeing or speaking to im already in the process of getting over her.
anyway i could ramble all day but i wont thankyou for your replys. and mabent thankyou for your lovly compliment hopefully one day i will make someone a happy wife.

 
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Old 07-03-2012, 11:19 AM   #7
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Re: Girlfriend confused about relationship

Good, I'm proud of you.

 
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