I wasn't sure where to post this, then decided that this board was as good as any.
Here's my story.
I'm 31 years old now, and last night had a pretty vivid dream about a crush from high school. The actual dream is not all that important, but the feelings that follow upon working certainly are.
Here's some general background. When I was in my mid-teens, I developed a crush on a girl in my school. The first time I saw her in the hall it felt like I'd been hit by lightning. I still remember to this day what she was wearing. I never talked to her--just knew her from a distance. Well, during the subsequent school year, it turns out (of course) that we're in the same language class, seated virtually right next to each other.
As we settle into the school year, I find out that she also likes me. She passes me notes in class, tries to get me to out with her, and is generally very sweet and genuine towards me. I, on the other hand, was completely awkward towards her--couldn't speak to her, face got red everytime she spoke to me, etc. I never reciprocated her sweetness (even though I badly wanted to), and eventually she gave up. We went our separate ways and we never really spoke again.
------------------------
Now to the rest. I've had a few dreams per year about her for the last 12/13 years. I don't do it consciously, so I guess she must be rattling around in my subconscious somewhere in the depths. In these dreams, I am always chasing after her but am unable to obtain her. Something always happens that keeps us apart, just when it seems promising. Odd, I know.
The thing is, after these dreams, I end up missing her really bad for the next few days. It comes out of nowhere. This seems crazy to me. Many years have passed. I can't figure out why these memories are so emotional so far out in time. It could be because the crush was so intense on my part. It could be because it was my
first crush. Or it could be that, because I was aware that she also liked me, my subconscious is still dealing with the regret.
Sorry for the long post. Anyone want to comment on this? Anyone even know what I'm talking about?
