It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 07-15-2012, 02:51 PM   #1
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: America
Posts: 11
Blog Entries: 8
Beck21 HB User
Unhappy Friend's failure to contact me

Hi. I am hoping this is the place to post this. I have a really close friend of mine who recently has been making me feel unwanted. By this I mean she will promise to contact me on a regular basis and then often fails to do so. There is almost always some excuse as to why she has been doing this. There is a time difference but that usually is not an issue b/c she stays up late. My feeling is if someone does not want to chat then say that and don't say you are going to do something then not do it. What is more complicated is she is supposed to be an online fiance but doesn't act like it. She went on a working vacation and made a big deal about emailing every day and more than just a morning check in. I'll get a bare bones message in the am with a promise to check in later and it never happens. This breaks my heart and I feel I can't confront her b/c it will upset her if I second guess. I am hoping someone has advice on a mature and adult way to deal with this issue. Thanks in advance.

 
Old 07-15-2012, 03:44 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Kszan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 4,941
Kszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB UserKszan HB User
Re: Friend's failure to contact me

I'm confused, is she just a friend? You referred to her also as an online fiancť, what does that mean? Have you ever met her in person? What is the nature of your relationship? Have you ever lived in the same time zone or even the same city? Maybe she found someone closer in proximity which is in all reality a much less stressful situation. It's possible.

 
The Following User Says Thank You to Kszan For This Useful Post:
Beck21 (07-15-2012)
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 07-15-2012, 03:50 PM   #3
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: America
Posts: 11
Blog Entries: 8
Beck21 HB User
Re: Friend's failure to contact me

It has become and on/off kinda thing. I really wonder if she is just messing with my emotions. She lives in the UK and has been to the States to visit friends. She and I met online and bonded. We were both on the rebound and I have known her for a year and a half. The nature of the relationship is abourt what you would expect. Flirting through emails and phone calls.
Its really complicated. If she just wants to go back to bieng friends I could understand but she won't tell me either way.

Last edited by Beck21; 07-15-2012 at 04:03 PM. Reason: thought more about the responce and needed to add.

 
Old 07-16-2012, 01:52 PM   #4
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Poplar Bluff, MO
Posts: 56
jasmine76apl HB Userjasmine76apl HB Userjasmine76apl HB User
Re: Friend's failure to contact me

Wow Beck!!!

I've never heard of an online fiance before, but it's nice to know that someone else has formed an attachment to an online friend besides just me and one other person on here that I know of. I was beginning to feel like a lone wolf or a freak because of it, but actually this is the world in which we live today. As for your feelings for her I understand how hard it is to try and overcome them because I too am struggling with this very problem. Probably just like me you spent every spare second you could communicating with this person and it hurts when all of that is stopped. Good luck and keep us updated.

 
Old 07-16-2012, 01:59 PM   #5
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: America
Posts: 11
Blog Entries: 8
Beck21 HB User
Re: Friend's failure to contact me

Thanks Jasmine. I will keep you updated. Hope it works out with your person as well.

 
Old 07-16-2012, 02:02 PM   #6
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Poplar Bluff, MO
Posts: 56
jasmine76apl HB Userjasmine76apl HB Userjasmine76apl HB User
Re: Friend's failure to contact me

No I want to further contact from my "friend" and I don't want things to work out with him at all. At this point I'm just looking for some peace of mind. If you have a chance you can read my thread on here or even Susie's she had a similar problem as well.

 
The following user gives a hug of support to jasmine76apl:
Beck21 (07-16-2012)
Old 07-16-2012, 03:01 PM   #7
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: America
Posts: 11
Blog Entries: 8
Beck21 HB User
Re: Friend's failure to contact me

Ah. I see. Thanks for clearing that up.

 
Old 07-16-2012, 04:45 PM   #8
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Poplar Bluff, MO
Posts: 56
jasmine76apl HB Userjasmine76apl HB Userjasmine76apl HB User
Re: Friend's failure to contact me

Beck,

I really feel for the position you find yourself in right now and I'd like to offer some advice on what I just went through a little over 3 weeks ago. I talked with my online friend from May of 2011 until 3 weeks ago. Our bond was strong too, and we professed our love for each other over and over again. I'm actually married but so was he and we found each other because we were both in troubled marriages so we poured ourselves into each other. Then around January of this year things started to slowly change and at first I didn't notice so much because I had a lot of things going on in my own life during this time. I did start to notice about 2 months ago and by the time I really noticed things had REALLY changed. He was less affectionate, he stopped telling me he loved me, he would miss our normal chat times and or our phone calls got shorter and shorter.
I brought this up several times and offered him at least 2 chances at an easy out no questions asked to which he swore he still wanted me in his life. Then finally I couldn't handle all the unspoken words and I was starting to feel crazy and wondering if I was really noticing what I knew I was. When I sent him an email telling him I couldn't stand it anymore he finally came out and said that we had went as far as we could and our situations were never going to change to which I agreed and we said goodbye. Then 3 weeks later he sent me a text to what I thought was to start talking again, but what he really wanted to let me know is that I had been replaced. I was sad about our split and even posted about it on here but I was getting better each and every day and I was trying to work on my marriage.
Then he had to go on and on about his new friend that he works with and she gets to share all the things with him that I never could because we were separated by 16 hours. He cut me to the core with this revelation that he could have easily omitted and I would have been none the wiser but for some reason he chose to tell me about her and now I'm having a VERY hard time getting over it. My advice to you is that your friend has probably found someone new, someone within her area that she can grasp on to and she is having a hard time telling you about it because she does care for your feelings. I just wish that my friend had let me be and that he hadn’t felt the need to tell me the truth. I would have liked to have gone on thinking that he did care for me so much that he wouldn’t hurt me like he did.

I really hope I’m wrong about this but that is what happened between me and my friend too.

 
The following user gives a hug of support to jasmine76apl:
Beck21 (07-16-2012)
Old 07-16-2012, 04:51 PM   #9
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: America
Posts: 11
Blog Entries: 8
Beck21 HB User
Re: Friend's failure to contact me

Thank you once again Jasmine. Sorry it did work out for you but perhaps it was for the best. Perhaps it is for the best in my situation. Best of luck to you and I will defiently keep you updated.

 
Closed Thread




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Kszan (270), rosequartz (251), pendulum (172), Larrylou'smom (164), Seraph (155), cryingforever (132), CadenceA (131), lenvegas (94), writeleft (83), Ely4 (62)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1162), MSJayhawk (991), Apollo123 (890), Titchou (826), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (757), ladybud (737), sammy64 (666), midwest1 (665), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:31 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!