Re: Need relationship advice please
She is an extreme co-dependant. By helping her, you didn't really help her. I have had to learn this in my own relatively new relationship.
You have to learn to step back and let her be herself. Learn to be supportive without enabling her. This is a very hard thing for me because my parents taught me to be an enabler myself.
You are learning something important about her... how important a sense of familiarity is to her... that familiarity is comforting to her, regardless of how bad the situation is. She would rather feel some form of comfort than be independent. And, she let her dad control her, even though she is an adult. She showed she isn't and/or can't be independent of him.
By letting her make her own decisions, you will learn who she is. Unless you want to live with him in your life and in your marriage and relationship, you need to do some serious thinking. What would stop him from walking back into her life and taking her back home again in the future? NOTHING!
Unfortunately you should have never let her move in with you if you wanted to be with her in a marriage. Statistically, relationships where the 2 live together before marriage, don't work out more often than they do. As hard as it may be, you have to let her go.
If she comes back to you, I would suggest you encourage her to get her own place, so you can then spend more time learning who she is. Then, you have to decide, if who she really is, is who you want to be with. She, too, will have to decide if you are who she wants to be with. And if either of you decide in the negative, then it won't matter what decision the other makes. You can't change someone.
Just because you 'feel' love doesn't mean she is the right person for you. If she goes back with her dad, she will show you that she is an extreme dependent on him. That comfort is more important to her than getting out of a bad situation. I do not believe you can have a healthy relationship with someone like that.
I would suggest you get outside counseling as well... I'm judging based on what you posted, but a counselor will be able to see things that I can't pick up on from a post. I'm replying based on my own very recent experiences... hope it helps.