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Old 07-23-2012, 02:00 PM   #1
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6 Year Friendship Ruining Other Friendships

I'll keep this short:
-I've had my best friend "Jane" for 6 years. Her personality is bold, controlling, selfish and not very considerate of others.
-Despite this, I continued being her friend, being submissive to her selfish ways. She's always gotten what she's wanted.
-I recently started dating my bf, who she at first was okay with, but now is upset with. One night at her apt. I spent more time with him versus her. She still can't get over the fact that I have someone in my life, and refuses to talk to me since "I'm in the wrong".

The whole kicker of this is that we both have all the same mutual friends. So any time any get together goes on, I know she'll be there. I was recently not asked to be apart of my other friend's wedding, and "Jane" was. Jane has been quick to say not very nice things about me to our mutual friends, as she knows it will get back to me. I find this to be childish, and I don't have any part in drama..ever.

I am wondering if I should seek a new circle of friends. It's one thing that I let "Jane" go, but the fact that we have all the same friends makes things tough. I don't like hearing about what's been said about me, and the drama associated with it. Having not been asked to be apart of my other friend's wedding is making me seriously question how I've spent the last 6 years of my life.

Should I seek a new circle of friends? If so, how do I go about this? I'm 23, almost 24. If I go out and about I can't say I'm new to the area because I'm not. How would I explain that I'm trying to get away from the high school mentality people that I've been associating myself with for so long?

Am I stuck? Any help is appreciated!

 
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Old 07-23-2012, 02:50 PM   #2
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Re: 6 Year Friendship Ruining Other Friendships

Its unfortunate Jane had to be the way she was for 6 years. If I had a friend as spoiled and inconsiderate as her it would taken less than a month for me to get rid of her. I have a best male friend that is a part of my social circle, but at least he gets along with my family and what few close friends I've got. Are you sure you want to drop your circle of friends just because she is still part of the group? Now, I can understand you not wanting to be around Jane and the other friend that didn't invite you to the friend's wedding. You could just hang out with the other group of people just once a week, because it may not be good to cut all ties with them. I know its hard to find true friendship and it takes patience and time to develope one. I hope you find the kind of friendships you are looking for. Don't look down on yourself because of someone who was ungreatful to your part in the friendship.

 
Old 07-23-2012, 03:51 PM   #3
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Re: 6 Year Friendship Ruining Other Friendships

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rosepedals View Post

Should I seek a new circle of friends? If so, how do I go about this? I'm 23, almost 24. If I go out and about I can't say I'm new to the area because I'm not. How would I explain that I'm trying to get away from the high school mentality people that I've been associating myself with for so long?

Am I stuck? Any help is appreciated!
Don't explain anything. Nobody really cares about old feuds, etc. i presume you live in a normal city and not a tiny town where everyone knows everyone else. You do not need a reason to make friends. Is there a hobby/language you can go to a class for? You don't have to opt right out of your group, just expand it so you are mixing with different people as well. What about the BF's pals? Sera

 
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