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Old 07-25-2012, 12:28 PM   #1
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Unhappy Pregnant and alone

Were do i start... Im 22 yrs old and all alone, growing up i came from a family of domestic voilence, physical/ sexual abuse and neglect...i never could forgive them for not being there, and have always been the black sheep. I met my partner 5 yr ago, he is 14 years older then, maybe i was looking for a father figure i dnt know, but ever since my life has got much worse. He has cheated continuosly thru our relationship, but i stood by him, too make it work even after all the emotional and physical abuse. He has created a huge problem between him and my family. I was given an alter-matum by my family to choose between him and them...i choose him... When my friends found out they made it there mission to make my life hell. I suffered alot of abuse n threats. He has isolated me through emotional blackmail and false promises from everyone i know.

Your proberly thinking how can i be so stupid n get pregnant by him... Well a few years ago i was told i might no be able to have children, in the last five years i have suffered 6 miscarridges... So when i found out that i was pregnant n was 3 months which is three times longer then i have carried i was shocked with happyness n anxiety.. I was still trying to make it work with him beacuse i had no1 else.... Imagine this when i told him, he was reactionless as time has gone by he dusnt want to know... He said he has no feeling towards my unborn child, all he can see is belly...he still continously cheating on me and dusnt care if i have this child... Wot was i thinking... Is this baby a curse or a miracle...i dnt have family, friends, even someone i call a partner... Im all alone and its all my faults...

 
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Old 07-25-2012, 01:00 PM   #2
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Re: Pregnant and alone

Well, you're not alone now......you have a little person growing inside you. What's happened in the past can't be undone, but I think you should try to reach out to your family. Tell them that they were right and you made the wrong choice. Ask them for their help and love, but be sure you mean it. Don't even think about going back with your "partner" if they take you back. In the meantime, take care of yourself (vitamins, eat healthy, rest) and try not to stress too much so this baby has a good start in life

 
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Old 07-25-2012, 02:10 PM   #3
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Re: Pregnant and alone

I'm so so sorry you had to go through these horrible experiences ! As much as you feel lost and alone right now. Try to think positive I know that's hard. But your baby is a blessing. As hard as it is to be alone. Jut think your bringing a beautiful baby in this world that will love you unconditionally ! I can't speak from experience but my opinion is to leave this man ! I feel maybe to try to reach out to your family ! I will pray for you. Just think that new baby your bringing into this world will have no idea of the pain you have and will be so grateful your there mommy. I wish I could take your pain away . If you want to talk I'm here for you

 
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Old 07-25-2012, 02:40 PM   #4
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Re: Pregnant and alone

I understand what you are saying but in my heart ov heart i cant trade one evil for another evil... My family n my partner are just as bad as each other... I know sum ppl is say blood is thicker then watet but my blood is like air.my mistake was in choosing any of them... I shud ov left both...all i want is stability, a friend a form a relationship dat i can say will no stab me in the back when im not looking...i cant trust no1 not even family... N No matter how much i try they dnt want to know me...i bin doing this with them for years, im not gd enough...

 
Old 07-25-2012, 02:55 PM   #5
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Re: Pregnant and alone

I can't say that I understand what you're going through, because I haven't been in a situation like yours. But I do know what it's like to have a boyfriend or partner abuse you. What I've learned from my experience is that it's not your fault unless you don't learn from it, and make the same mistake in the future. Your family's abuse and behaviour is not your fault either. But you must ask yourself: "Am I strong enough to overcome this challenge?"

If an idividual hasn't been hurt before, they are often times too trusting towards others, and love with their whole heart without question. I've been there too and I'm far from being the only one. But after going through some things, I realized you can't change people, all you can really do is pick up the pieces and move on. It's better to accept what happened and forgive yourself.
Your child is an innocent life too, it is not his or her fault either. He/she is alive and not one of the miscarriages. Be happy for the good things, and look forward to the future. It's always a good thing to stay positive no matter what. Because nobody has the right to steal yourself away from you. Best of luck.

 
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Old 07-30-2012, 08:34 PM   #6
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Re: Pregnant and alone

Cookiecrumble,
I think it's great you are reaching out here on this message board.
If you don't want help from friends or family, there are social agencies, or church services that can help you..they are out there..
One thing to remember..just because you were treated badly in your past doesn't mean that it has to be in your present or your future..or in your child's future...If you stay, it's your choice at this point. When you were a kid you didn't have a choice. Your child will not be given a choice as to whether he/she experiences abuse..but you will be the one who will be choosing it for him/her and repeating the cycle.
I hope you'll find the strength to give your child what you always wanted when you were a kid..a safe loving home..
all the best

 
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Old 07-31-2012, 01:36 PM   #7
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Re: Pregnant and alone

I am so sorry you're going through this. No, your baby is NOT a curse. He/she is a blessing. All babies are no matter the situation. It's time you walk out of this guys life. He's giving you enough grief and no I don't think you should go to your family. If they have hurt you in those kinds of ways you're better off staying far away from them. Just make sure you do right by this baby because your family is next of kin so if anything goes wrong this baby will go to them if they seem fit enough for it. There has to be places you can go to that will help you. Start with government assistance. They can help you get an apt and even a part time job. When the baby is born he/she can be in a daycare that will be provided through the government and you can work full time to make more money. Anything is possible but you have to try. Don't let this jerk or anyone in your family or your so called friends change your mind or bring you down making you believe you aren't capable. You can do this. And you do have a friend.

Last edited by moderator2; 07-31-2012 at 01:45 PM.

 
Old 08-02-2012, 03:27 PM   #8
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Re: Pregnant and alone

I met my wife when she was going through a similar situation. She had been dating a guy off and on for years and he just had a vasectomy so when she turned up pregnant, he assumed it wasn't his and told her, "it was nice knowing you." A year after he was born the child support agency finally got the results back from the paternity test and he was left eating his words and now pays on time and is a great father to the son he wasn't supposed to have.

Things may look bad, but try to look at it as a new beginning and a great beginning. Their is plenty of help out there and life does go on. Keep your chin up and I hope the best for you and your soon to be new family.

 
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