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Old 07-27-2012, 07:02 PM   #1
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In love with younger man.

Hi there. There is something I'd like to get your thoughts on. I am 46, am a successful independent businesswoman who met a great guy that is 26.

Funny enough, I met him through my daughter. They are just acquaintances but he came along with some of her friends to a house party (nothing like drinking, just playing games etc.). While he was here I noticed him looking at me, he eventually came up and talked to me and we began chatting and found we have a lot in common. He is very mature (and handsome to boot) and has a great sense of humor and we really clicked so he asked me before the night was over if he could take me out so I said yes. We went bowling and had a great time and he never pushed me for sex or anything like that.

He admitted to me that he has always liked older women, that he has trouble relating to girls his age. He has had a few but none that lasted more than 6 months. He is a very intellectual type and we have very in depth hour long discussions and never in my life have I met a man like this.

Previously I was married for 22 years to a man that was mean, hateful abusive, etc. but ended that 2 years ago. It has been 3 months since we began dating.

He lives on his own and works two jobs and is going for his masters in advertising. He has always been a gentleman and paid for the first few dates and we kinda switch off and on.

Why am I posting this? Well, recently I have gotten a lot of crticism; from my ex, from my parents, and my daughter. Saying things like "He'll leave you for a younger woman" "that's disgusting" etc. very hateful things. My ex tells everyone he's my "boy toy" when that isn't CLOSE to the case just to be vengeful.

I'd like your thoughts. Thanks for reading.

 
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Old 07-27-2012, 07:23 PM   #2
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Re: In love with younger man.

Ignore those people! It is none of their business. I don't understand how people can be so mean. He may be younger but he is an adult. So what if it may not be permanent, he sounds lovely and just what you need to have in your life. Do not let the criticism affect you at all, it does not even sound like they are concerned about your happiness, but are judgemental and hateful. Don't let yourself be bullied, because that is what is happening. Sera

 
Old 07-27-2012, 09:49 PM   #3
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Re: In love with younger man.

Hi Patricia255, usually when we adults our parents and friends should not be responsible or critical of our lives. You're a grown woman and can decide for yourself if this new relationship with a young man can be a good or a bad thing. You describe him as a man with good character and someone who knows how to treat a woman, so I see no reason for you to be getting those remarks from other people. I think you should continue on the path toward a fullfilling relationship. You're the only person who knows what is right for you, and if you can handle a younger companion in your life. Good luck in finding happiness with him.

 
Old 07-28-2012, 12:01 AM   #4
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Re: In love with younger man.

Hello Patricia225

Good for you;you've found a mate that you're compatible with in more ways than one.

People tend to put labels on anything these days.
If you both have mutual feelings for each other,then let me be the first to say:"more power to you."

As far as the haters,well;they have a job to do.
Let nothing stand in the way of your happiness.

Respectfully
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Last edited by Phoenix; 07-28-2012 at 12:02 AM.

 
Old 07-28-2012, 08:04 AM   #5
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Re: In love with younger man.

IF he makes you happy, then stick with it! Your ex is jealous, because I bet if he could find a 26 year old hottie to date, he'd be on her like flies on..****.. LOL!

There are many men who like older women, just as there are women who like older men. I would not talk to relatives about this relationship. It has only been 3 months, so it is early. Only time will tell if he is serious. But in the meantime, have fun and don't let anyone know your personal business.
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Last edited by Belly Kelly; 07-28-2012 at 08:12 AM.

 
Old 07-28-2012, 07:04 PM   #6
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Re: In love with younger man.

Thanks everyone. This is the first time I've ever been with a younger man. My daughter has been a real pain telling me that I'm being a horrible person that it's "gross" I'm with a man she knows and that I shouldn't be doing this. She won't even bring her friends over. But my guy tells me he really cares for me and shows it all the time and it feels wonderful.

 
Old 09-27-2012, 07:47 AM   #7
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Re: In love with younger man.

He's fine with you now because you, while significantly older, are still "young enough", much like a young adult actress or model to a young boy who is into girls and women too! But surely you can see that can (and often does) change at some point, miss!!!

Let him go! Be a friend. Be fair to him and yourself and let him go.

26 - 46
30 - 50
36 - 56
40 - 60
46 - 66
50 - 70

Of course, none of that matters if you aren't interested in the everlasting!

I will admit that there is a CHANCE it could work, but that's only if this guy is REALLY about the mind and soul and virtually not at all about the body. And my philosophy about monogamous "love" relationships is if it's love without romance or the physical attraction, being merely great friends is A-ok!

 
Old 09-27-2012, 09:19 AM   #8
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Re: In love with younger man.

You are both adults, so I say enjoy it as long as it lasts.

 
Old 09-27-2012, 09:21 AM   #9
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Re: In love with younger man.

I'm coming from a more "normal" scenerio. I have always gotten along with older people and when I met my husband I didn't know he was 25 years older than myself but I enjoyed his company, he encouraged me, and we got along and still do after 26 years of marriage. I was young and naive but I learned to become more assertive and feel better about myself than I did when I was married to a man my same age. Age is an attitude and a number but things can work out either way. I now take care of my husband but I don't mind. I sometimes wish he could help me more around the house but I find handmen to help me fix things. I love him more now than I did then. Yes, the world is full of people and to find someone who enjoys the same things, music, etc., is a gift. Being with a younger man is nice because sometimes men don't live as long as women and also if you can find some happiness in this life, grab it and hold onto it. Don't listen to negative people and who want to bring you down. Best wishes to you and remember a man with character, honesty, faithfulness, sensitivity and generousity and especially a good sense of humor is hard to find.

 
Old 09-27-2012, 12:59 PM   #10
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Re: In love with younger man.

I think it is great. I also think its pretty normal for people to get jealous and worried in a situation like this. But what it comes down to is you are both adults and can make your own choices. If he makes you happy there is nothing wrong with his age. If my son was in this similar situation and he was happy i would be all for it. As for your ex he is just jealous. He sees you with this young stud and of course it bothers him.

 
Old 09-28-2012, 07:16 AM   #11
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Re: In love with younger man.

Just be very cautious that he isn't using you in the same way a young woman uses an older man. Personally being about your same age, I could not see myself even being in the least bit attracted to a kid that's young enough to be my son! Hey but to each his own. I agree with mottled dove's post completely! If you are in it for today then no biggy and at 46 most women still look pretty good but in 10 years there's a huge difference in aging!
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Last edited by BeaTrade; 09-28-2012 at 01:42 PM.

 
Old 10-08-2012, 11:20 PM   #12
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Re: In love with younger man.

Thanks for the advice everyone. My daughter still won't talk to me but my relationship has been great. He is such a great man (not a kid which I find offensive) and has helped a lot around the house and pays for when we go out and is overall a great gentleman. It's funny, the other day we were out eating and these group of very attractive girls his age sat in the booth next to ours and they were all giggling and being very obnoxious. He just grabbed my hand and said "That's why I am so glad to be with an older woman" haha.

My ex husband has been still acting immature about it, making fun of him and me. Yet my new man is a million times more mature than him

Thinking about having him move in.

 
Old 10-09-2012, 12:04 AM   #13
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Re: In love with younger man.

Hello,
If you and him have great time and have faith in each other then go ahead and live your life... good luck..

 
Old 10-12-2012, 07:07 AM   #14
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Re: In love with younger man.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Patricia225 View Post
Thanks for the advice everyone. My daughter still won't talk to me but my relationship has been great. He is such a great man (not a kid which I find offensive) and has helped a lot around the house and pays for when we go out and is overall a great gentleman. It's funny, the other day we were out eating and these group of very attractive girls his age sat in the booth next to ours and they were all giggling and being very obnoxious. He just grabbed my hand and said "That's why I am so glad to be with an older woman" haha.

My ex husband has been still acting immature about it, making fun of him and me. Yet my new man is a million times more mature than him

Thinking about having him move in.

Whaaaoooo. Hold up. I was all with you until the moving him in part. Slow down a bit. Give your daughter more time to adjust to you guys dating.

As for your ex, just laugh at him and tell him he is just jealous.

You are living my fantasy btw.

 
Old 10-12-2012, 09:16 AM   #15
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Re: In love with younger man.

agree you should keep doing what you're doing, but i think moving in is jumping the gun a bit.......what's the rush?

 
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