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Old 07-28-2012, 09:08 AM   #1
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Online

Why must dating be so hard? As you know from previous posts, I don't find it easy at all. I've made bad choices when it comes to who I've dated. After much debate and negativity, I put myself on an online dating site. Oh boy, some of the profiles are pathetic. I communicated with a few people but went out with someone last night. I was beyond nervous. I always realize after, I'm nervous over nothing but will still be nervous in the future. He was really nice but didn't feel a bit of attraction. Ugh! My friends ask if I'd go out with him again. I honestly don't know. I don't want to lead him on. I felt NOTHING!!! It was so disappointing. I know I have to be proud of myself for putting myself out there when I never do. But I wanted to leave with the feeling of wanting to see him again. I know that, in certain circumstances, I need to give things a chance. But, doesn't there need to be an attraction or something to make you think you'd want to go out with that person again?

 
Old 07-28-2012, 09:48 AM   #2
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Re: Online

You're not going to be into every single guy you go out with. When you're shopping for a dress or a pair of shoes, do you buy the first one (or pair) that you try on and then try to force yourself to like them? No, you know if you buy a dress or shoes you don't really like they'll end up sitting in the back of your closet, unworn, and you'll end up feeling silly for wasting your money.

Same with dating. You'll date some you like and you'll date some that leave you feeling "meh". Maybe try a second date with Mr. Meh, but if you aren't "feeling it", leave Mr. Meh at the store! And try dating someone else.

When you meet someone you really do like, you won't have to force yourself to like him, it will just happen.

I dated one Mr. Meh and after 3 dates, I stopped. It wasn't going to happen and I couldn't force it to. I've also made the mistake of trying to have a relationship with another Mr. Meh and of course that didn't work either.

Save yourself for someone you truly do click with. Trust me, Mr. Just Right will be worth the wait.

FYI, my best friend dated many Mr. Meh's for years, and was so frustrated! I told her that it was taking her longer to find Mr. Just Right because someone extra special was being planned for her. Sure enough, she found him, and they are married with a family. Good things are worth waiting for.

 
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Old 07-29-2012, 07:33 AM   #3
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Re: Online

Hi Cadence! Thanks for responding. Sorry I'm just getting back to you. Yesterday was not a good day. I like your comparison to shopping. It's very true. I refuse to settle. It's just extremely frustrating. I also like how you describe them as Mr. Meh. It made me chuckle. I have to work on patience. Sometimes I feel I'm being punished and I'm not supposed to meet. Mr. Right.

 
Old 07-29-2012, 09:24 AM   #4
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Re: Online

I'm curious, who or what is it do you think is "punishing" you? And what for? And why do you think that?

Eventually we have to own the choices we make. If you've made mistakes in the past in choosing men (and from reading your past posts, I get that you have, but of course who hasn't???), that isn't some higher being "punishing" you! Someone whose lifestyle is in opposition to yours, someone who gives you a bit of attention then ignores you and is rude to you, someone who keeps you on the side while he's giving his full attention to someone else...these are choices that can't ever be good for you.

You need to look out for you because no one else will be as good at it as you can be. Don't be your own worst enemy. Don't be so anxious for a relationship that you try to find connections where they don't exist. Don't be in a hurry (I know that's when I make big mistakes, when I try to hurry!) and definitely be selective. Remember that you do deserve to be treated well, just as much as anyone else does, and don't settle for someone who you have to force things with because that's not good for you.

I'd continue with the online dating because, well, why not? And also try to be out in public as much as possible because you never know when Mr. Just Right might come along, or where you'll meet him!

 
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