It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Relationship Health Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 07-26-2012, 11:39 AM   #1
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: n.k. r.i. usa
Posts: 48
erie123 HB User
Unhappy Stressed

Hi everyone, not sure if I'm posting in the right area. But I def need some advice I will try and give as. Much info in a short period. I am now 34 year old female far from perfect but most would describe me as a kind individual with a big heart. 3 years ago I started therapy to work on weight ,stress issues that led to depression that led to prescription useing. In therapy I learned to cope with skills to release and get to the root of my issues. I did meditation, screaming (I always kept everything in)I did volunteer, went to chruch, made friends, did massive amounts of therapy, hypnotist acupuncture , massage etc etc I kept this issue to very close trustworthy people.!! I learned it wasn't , food or pills or alcohol it was.just how I covered up from my real issues of being a lonely little girl I was given everything, toys, clothes. Cars but what I needed was expression,someone to push me into activities, stricter etc but as a woman today I no my parents did the best they cud. Today I still am working on my issues daily, makeing progress. One day at a time. Well my older brother 38 lost a job 3 years ago and with the enconmy and pride not letting him take any job he has for the 2nd time has lost there home. He has a wife and 3 boys whom I love and they love me . Me and my sis in law were always so close talked daily , planned girls night etc well a lot change for them they went from makeing ALOT of$$$$ to not she went from a stay at home mom to a school teacher.there lives changed. And I missed her and tried to reach out but she wud say she was going thru a stressful time work, kids, marriage. We grew far apart my bro started asking my parents to back off let him fig this out (we were always close family)he starting changing becoming bitter, very angry etc always so negative towards me I still live at home (I am single) and me & my mom are very close that seemed to bother him.so here's were I need advice I finally approach my bro on why he seems always so down on me, why is he so much better then me?wht he always seems to shake his head about me I for once stood up for my self. Well he took that that as me attacking him at a stressfull time but it seems in there life it's always been s stressful time. he is not one for criticism but GREAT at giving it !!! So last week they got evicted from there 2nd home and I got a text saying now I will handle you ( who says that to his sis) well he went off calling me a lonely loser. Sad case , no life and here's the worst part i just learned he and my sis in law in 2009 borrowed my car in my trunk I guess I had my journal yup they took my journal and read it that was the time I was in therapylearning to let out let go etc they not only took it but they made copies and durning this argument he started reading phrases from my journal makeing fun of me they new how guilty they were so of course they claimed after reading about pills the loved me and wanted to help so again that was oct 2009 if they wanted to help? Why would you wait to July 2012 in a argument. While makeing fun of me calling me a drug addict saying I'm not important,and now threating to take my journal to others,family,fb.... Againg he is 38 far from perfect and she who was a friend was able to take my personal info and for 2 years look me In the eye. So now I'm sick over this. Is there anything I can do?? Isnt this stealing and invasion of privacy? Is there a way to protect my privacy? Thank you for reading.

 
The following user gives a hug of support to erie123:
Phoenix (07-29-2012)
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 07-28-2012, 09:01 AM   #2
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: united states
Posts: 431
Will I Be Happy HB UserWill I Be Happy HB UserWill I Be Happy HB UserWill I Be Happy HB UserWill I Be Happy HB User
Re: Brothers rage

Hi Erie! I'm so sorry you are going throug this. We are in very similar situations. I'm 34 and single. My brother is 37, also VERY far from perfect. I've had issues with depression since I was 17. It's literally taken me this long to realize my issues stem from my family. I'm very close with my parents, but have sooooo much anger towards them because they let my brother do whatever he wanted to do. They were afraid of his rage and temper and just appeased him. He controlled the family. He was the risk taker. Watching the fights, my mom cry, my dad never doing anything because it upset my mom....I took it all in. I was little miss perfect because I couldn't disappoint my parents. Food was my therapy and by 16 I was 196 pounds. I never let guys in (still a major struggle). Never went away to school because I was afraid. Even to this day, my brother thinks my parents and I somehow plan against him. I lived my life needing the approval of others. I still do to some extent. It all stems from my family. Like you I was given love by my parents and what I wanted or needed within reason. But I put my life on hold all those years because I was afraid to live mine. My brother and I are night and day. I save for a rainy day. He will have no money and still live the life. Ugh, makes me so angry. He's a stock broker and when the economy tanked, he pretty much had nothing. I lent him money and it took forever to get back, while he did what he wanted. It was so inconsiderate. I can't tell you how unreliable he is. At 37, he needs to leave his car places, because when he goes out, he doesn't control his alcohol. My mother still appeases him and it's led to many arguments between her and I because I realized all of my issues are from them. So, at 34 I'm just learning to say no and do what I want for myself. It's the hardest thing for me. I have a small family. I'm so afraid of ending up alone. I'm afraid of not being able to rely on my brother when my parents are not around. He's used my depression against me many times. He has thrown it in my face. Meanwhile, he should be in therapy and I'm there because of him. I love him dearly but I'm working on realizing I will never change him but I have to change myself. As far as your journal, how dare he? Remain strong! He's doing this because his life is a mess. He needs something to make his life look more put together than yours. Meanwhile you're working to help yourself. Don't let him bring you down. I hope this helped in some way.

 
The following user gives a hug of support to Will I Be Happy:
Phoenix (07-29-2012)
Old 07-28-2012, 11:33 AM   #3
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: n.k. r.i. usa
Posts: 48
erie123 HB User
Re: Brothers rage

It does help, and I thank you! At this point I feel so angry with stealing of the journal that I honestly wanted to contact a lawyer etc I no that may sound dramatic but he took the journal , made copies and has the nerve to text me my own quotes from my journal so in my defense maybe I'm not being dramatic? I am working on myself and he shud be applauding that. But in his head I'm just "side show, who is lonely with all these problems no man would want me" ( his own words) awful I no.

 
Old 07-28-2012, 04:39 PM   #4
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: united states
Posts: 431
Will I Be Happy HB UserWill I Be Happy HB UserWill I Be Happy HB UserWill I Be Happy HB UserWill I Be Happy HB User
Re: Advice

His words are awful and I can only relate. I will be posting my own message, as you will be able to read what happened with my brother today. You are no overreacting. I'd be extremely hurt. My brother has used me being single, as well as my depression against me. As much as the words hurt, I'm still learning that other people are cruel because of themselves and what is going on with them. I can't tell you whether or not to contact a lawyer. Your brother is being cruel and hurtful! Based on what you said, his life is in turmoil and he needs a punching bag. Unfortunately, it's you! I'm learning to remove myself from situations. I feel tremendously guilty for it but I have to for me...as you will read.

 
Closed Thread




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Kszan (271), rosequartz (251), pendulum (172), Larrylou'smom (164), Seraph (155), cryingforever (132), CadenceA (131), lenvegas (95), writeleft (83), Ely4 (62)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1165), MSJayhawk (1000), Apollo123 (898), Titchou (833), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (758), ladybud (747), sammy64 (668), midwest1 (665), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:22 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!