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Old 07-29-2012, 04:09 PM   #1
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: England
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MissConfusedd HB User
My Boyfriend Lies To Me

Hey,
I'd really appreciate your opinions on whether I am overreacting or if there is cause for concern in my relationship. We have only been officially going out for just over a week but I was dating him for several months before that. We are only 17 and I am his first girlfriend.

Basically, last week he asked me to log on to his Facebook and change his profile picture as he was on holiday and unable to get on a computer to change it himself. Anyway, after giving me his password so I could do this he tried to guess mine and when he guessed correctly I told him so (knowing that I have security settings enabled so I would be notified if anyone logged on from a device I haven't approved).

Last night I received an email from Facebook saying someone had logged on so I changed my password immediately. I have nothing to hide but I don't want him to be looking through conversations I have with my friends as we discuss some very personal things. Today he sent me a text which made it absolutely obvious that he had been looking at a particular message between me and a friend regarding my doubts about him in the early dating stages. We have sent many messages since then so he must have gone back a fair way to have seen them. When I questioned him over this he denied reading my messages and claimed it just to be a coincidence that he happened to bring up the very unique topic of this message. I know he's lying and this makes me feel more angry than the fact he's been on my Facebook without my permission. He wasn't angry with me for accusing him of reading my messages which just strengthens the evidence suggesting he did! I would be insulted if he wrongly accused me of doing the same to him.

I would just like to know if I should be concerned that he already seems to be 'checking up' on me in such early stages of our relationship or if this is simply a naive boy who doesn't realise just how out of line he was. He has lied to me about several other minor things and I have just overlooked them; I gave him so many opportunities to tell me the truth tonight but he was adamant he didn't do it.

Last edited by MissConfusedd; 07-29-2012 at 04:35 PM.

 
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Old 07-29-2012, 04:58 PM   #2
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Denmark
Posts: 78
wachix HB Userwachix HB Userwachix HB Userwachix HB Userwachix HB Userwachix HB User
Re: My Boyfriend Lies To Me

The human brain is not finished developing until about age 25.

You cannot fault someone for not being perfect when physiologically they cannot even be complete for at least another handful of years.

Sounds like you're taking this way too seriously and I'd be equally worried that you're quickly turning out to be someone who is too critical. Learn to relax and accept that if you give someone access, then they'll be curious.

 
Old 07-29-2012, 05:16 PM   #3
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 54
toughgal012 HB Usertoughgal012 HB Usertoughgal012 HB User
Re: My Boyfriend Lies To Me

Hi there, it seems you two have problems with honesty and trust here. I will be concerned if my boyfriend was so insecure and distrustful that he had to look through my facebook account to get information. I would never give my password out to anybody including my own mother. My mother is my best friend but my privacy is precious to me as I am sure so is yours. He must be a genius if he guessed the password to your account. I think you should tell him to learn to trust you and be an honest person to you, before you get anymore deeply involved. I sincerely hope you find a solution to this problem in your relationship.

 
Old 07-29-2012, 08:46 PM   #4
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(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 21
Dortopia HB User
Re: My Boyfriend Lies To Me

If you really believe he's lying, he doesn't deserve to be called your "boyfriend". By the age he is now, he knows right from wrong, or there may be little hope for his future.

 
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