I'm New to this website and this it the first post I've ever made. I have come to this website several times before to seek advice but never posted.
Well let me start off with a little background information. I'm 18 years old I dropped out o highschool freshman year and sine then distanced myself from the world around me. I don't often leave my house and I flake out on all of my friends who come to call. I a a very lonely person and scared (like most of us) of changes.
I've been dating online for a few years now and I've had some very bad experiences with it. I told myself I wouldn't date online ever again.... until 8 months ago. I met a guy and we really hit it off like no one else Ive met. When we met I was struggling with a drug addiction and living in a very had area. He helped me through that time of my life. The next few months we fought almost everyday sometimes about silly things but mostly because he was unemployed and wanted me to constantly be around.. I missed my freedom.
He is the sweetest guy he knows me better than I know myself sometimes, he worries about my health. He knows when I'm feeling sad. But at times I feel like he is too controlling and acts more like a father towards me than a lover. (Let me add that I've never met him before but we have been in constant contact for the last 8 months)
A few examples.... my parents were driving two hours to visit me. I was so exited and when I told him he got very upset and said that if it took More than an hour 'you will never see me more angry' because it was interfearing with our weekend time.
He makes remarks that I'm the only thing keeping him going and if I left him he'd probobly kill himself.
If I Dont answer his calls on break he panics. If I sound even the slightest bit sad when he calls he gets nervous and demands me to tell him the truth of what's wrong.. even if there is nothing wrong. He often makes comments of how much smarter than me he is. Even when he is joking I think he bealives it true.
Ive started to enjoy the times he's at work or wish that his showers were just a little longer... I feel selfish for wanting my freedom so bad. But when I go out with my family he always has a way of making me feel bad. I'm so lonely and now when I leave the house I'm nervous at what will happen when I get home.
When I'm with him he always tries to push things on me.. like if I don't shower or something silly like that he will bug me until I do. He threatens that if I ever drink or smoke again he will leave me.
And more often now when he gets home we do whatever he wants... even if I Don want to but when I want to do something he doesn't... the its just not happening.