I'd just be happy knowing i helped towards fixing him and making him a better person, as hes constantly improving himself.
I know that time is a great healer but there must be a way to help him.
Anyone have any ideas as to how to help?
The bottom line is that you can't fix this or him. He has some serious major internal issues that will only get better if he works on it himself through therapy or something of that nature. Something you need to realize about relationships is that you can't go into one thinking you're going to make the other person magically turn into what you want them to be. It doesn't work that way. People have to work through their issues in their own way on their own time. You already know this guy is 100% emotionally unavailable and yet you still agreed to date him. That's only going to end badly for you because eventually you will get resentful of his constant inability to be the guy you want him to be. Maybe he will never work it out, who knows? But the fact is, right now he is not the guy you want him to be so that's enough of a reason to not be dating him at all. You shouldn't wait around for him either because you never know how long it will take for him to get himself in order. It could possibly take a really long time if ever.
The Following User Says Thank You to Kszan For This Useful Post: rosequartz (08-15-2012)
i don't want to magically change him, he wants to be able to feel all other emotions than just pain, HE WANTS TO. you've completely misunderstood what i was saying. And no, he didn't realize he was emotionally numb until last weekend, hes just gotten so used to it that he didn't realize it, so i didn't go into the relationship thinking that hes emotionless what so ever, I'm not that sort of person to go and do that after all iv been through myself.
If he is still psychologically unable to move on from his ex with whom he broke up 2 1/2 years ago then there's really something wrong with him. And I still think its a bad idea to keep trying to fix him because it's not going to work.
People don't just wake up one day and say to themselves that they're emotionally numb. If he just told you that then there's something else going on and he is trying to make excuses for treating you badly. I still think he is not right for you but you'll have to find that out for yourself if you decide to stay with him. Given your history, you should endeavor to date more normal guys who aren't going to play these kinds of games with you. You should look for a guy who has his stuff together and isn't mentally damaged from something that happened a long time ago like this dude.