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Old 08-20-2012, 12:22 AM   #1
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chi-Town
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jbrcly89 HB User
Should I break off the engagement?

So I'll start by saying I don't normally do this, but I have no one else that I can openly talk to so it can't hurt. I started dating the woman I'm engaged to around two years ago and we got engaged around 4 months ago. It has always been a long distance relationship, but since we got engaged she has been making plans to move much closer, which would be fine, except I don't feel attracted to her as more than just a friend. I honestly can't say I ever have because of the weird timeline of our relationship. We got engaged the first time we met, stupid I know, but it was all very in the moment and I've been having doubts about it since. We get along really well and have so much in common, but at the end if the day I don't think she's "the one". Now it probably sounds like I've already answered my own question, and should break it off, but I have few concerns. One concern I have is maybe I'm just having doubts or cold feet because this is such a huge step take. I don't have any friends or family members that I feel comfortable talking with this about, or I would ask them if what I'm feeling is typical. My next concern is if I'm being shallow about this, I want to make absolutely certain that I'm doing this for the right reason. Do you need to be sexually attracted to someone in order to have a healthy relationship or does sexual attraction or lack thereof just cloud good judgement? I think part of the problem is I don't have any real world healthy relationships to observe or learn from, but that's another issue for another day. Today I just want to know the best way to proceed and if my concerns have merit.

 
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Old 08-20-2012, 05:00 AM   #2
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Lauriann HB User
Re: Should I break off the engagement?

Yes, you should break off the engagement. You said, "I don't feel attracted to her more than just a friend" and you're not "sexually attracted to her". A marital relationship is much more than that.

 
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advice, attraction, break up, engagement, long distance



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