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-   -   Do some feel that they have waited long enough>? When will meet a good one? (http://www.healthboards.com/boards/relationship-health/915433-do-some-feel-they-have-waited-long-enough-when-will-meet-good-one.html)

waywardson 08-24-2012 11:15 AM

Do some feel that they have waited long enough>? When will meet a good one?
 
I been sitting here analyzing my relationship history. I actually dont believe I have ever truley had a girlfriend. I have attracted all my life women who are not fully available. Whether it is emotionally, distance, involved with others...
I have not had one gf. Only my relations have been 'flings' or 'dateing' or just a quick romping. I hate it. I guess the main problem for me this whole time is being terrified of intimacy and somehow have managed to attract those whom are not fully available. I feel if as though now I am ready...so I hope to believe that the future will be better. I am so very tired though, am 30 now and not getting any younger.

-CvC- 08-30-2012 07:29 PM

Re: Do some feel that they have waited long enough>? When will meet a good one?
 
I used to feel like you. I was stuck with married or otherwise unavailable women. Then I did find my mate. She is my other half and we get along perfectly and she is 100% mine. It will come, just not when you want or expect it. I thought I was stuck with a controlling crazy woman and was going to be miserable forever. Then I found my wife. They are out there, took me 22 years to find mine. Gotta search and not give up though.

waywardson 09-02-2012 10:28 AM

Re: Do some feel that they have waited long enough>? When will meet a good one?
 
[QUOTE=-CvC-;5048287]I used to feel like you. I was stuck with married or otherwise unavailable women. Then I did find my mate. She is my other half and we get along perfectly and she is 100% mine. It will come, just not when you want or expect it. I thought I was stuck with a controlling crazy woman and was going to be miserable forever. Then I found my wife. They are out there, took me 22 years to find mine. Gotta search and not give up though.[/QUOTE]

That is awesome man. When you say 22 years does that mean you are only 22? I am a bit older so it is a lil more difficult, but with some things are better with age. I am leaving in 6 months and moving so right now it is kind of difficuly and feel a lil stuck...like trying to date seems pointless. I hate sitting around doing nothing too...not really looking for a fling but have been talking with some recent exes and might see some of them. Just hate being alone. Would love to meet the wife and the right one. I will keep looking.

-CvC- 09-02-2012 07:15 PM

Re: Do some feel that they have waited long enough>? When will meet a good one?
 
No, I was married at 18 year old to a woman with more mental problems than a lobotomized chimpanzee. We split up and it took me 22 years of being single and alone before I met the right woman. I dated several women who were married or still attached to other people. Then the right one came along. You will find yours. It is just harder to find than you may believe.

waywardson 09-03-2012 10:35 AM

Re: Do some feel that they have waited long enough>? When will meet a good one?
 
[QUOTE=-CvC-;5049672]No, I was married at 18 year old to a woman with more mental problems than a lobotomized chimpanzee. We split up and it took me 22 years of being single and alone before I met the right woman. I dated several women who were married or still attached to other people. Then the right one came along. You will find yours. It is just harder to find than you may believe.[/QUOTE]

Oh wow yes that is an amazing story! glad you finally found the one! You so right it is very difficult. At least now I am finally over the fear I have had of the past of being rejected...and been dateing more and getting more exp and have had somewhat lasting relations. One I was in the end of the winter to early summer was really intense for me...havnt felt the way about a girl since I was like 17 and it ended with me pouring my heart out to her and ultimaley getting rejected on the relationship level. She didnt feel the same although she did mention at one point she had come strong feelings for me...which actually made me feel good cause I always thought girls never liked me..outside of a quick physical thing. It was a lil painful but I am kind of glad it happend because I feel a lot less scared to put myself out there now. I really cant develop anything where I am at now but dont see the harm in dateing just a lil for experience.

jozi209 09-03-2012 10:02 PM

Re: Do some feel that they have waited long enough>? When will meet a good one?
 
i have no advice but wanted to let you know you're not alone! I'm 29 and single and my longest relationship has been around 6 months long. All i keep reminding myself is that because i have so much practise with what i DON'T want that when I find what I DO want, I'll know it right away. Good luck to you:)

Kszan 09-03-2012 10:19 PM

Re: Do some feel that they have waited long enough>? When will meet a good one?
 
You've posted here a lot about this topic and I think I've told you previously that you appear to be a good guy. So I'm not sure why this kind of stuff keeps happening to you. But you did say that you were moving (back to the US I think?) soon so you may want to consider not getting into anything serious until you move. Wouldn't it suck really bad if you met someone awesome only to have to turn around and leave so soon?

I think the place where you live now may not be conducive to finding someone, but if you just hang on a little longer until after you're settled into your new surroundings, I think you will be more successful with a real relationship. No one wants to get really into someone only to find out theyre moving somewhere far away in a few months. So take the time now to prepare for what your plan will be after you move to get to a comfortable situation and then you'll be free to find someone close by whom you can see on a regular basis.

I really think it will happen for you, because you seem like a good guy. You just have to make sure your "house" is in order (meaning just your life in general) before you invite someone in to be a part of it, know what I mean? And don't give up. You have a lot to offer a potential girlfriend so don't sell yourself short!

waywardson 09-04-2012 09:55 AM

Re: Do some feel that they have waited long enough>? When will meet a good one?
 
[QUOTE=Kszan;5050236]You've posted here a lot about this topic and I think I've told you previously that you appear to be a good guy. So I'm not sure why this kind of stuff keeps happening to you. But you did say that you were moving (back to the US I think?) soon so you may want to consider not getting into anything serious until you move. Wouldn't it suck really bad if you met someone awesome only to have to turn around and leave so soon?

I think the place where you live now may not be conducive to finding someone, but if you just hang on a little longer until after you're settled into your new surroundings, I think you will be more successful with a real relationship. No one wants to get really into someone only to find out theyre moving somewhere far away in a few months. So take the time now to prepare for what your plan will be after you move to get to a comfortable situation and then you'll be free to find someone close by whom you can see on a regular basis.

I really think it will happen for you, because you seem like a good guy. You just have to make sure your "house" is in order (meaning just your life in general) before you invite someone in to be a part of it, know what I mean? And don't give up. You have a lot to offer a potential girlfriend so don't sell yourself short![/QUOTE]

Well thank you....and I dont knw why but I have litterally always attracted the worst women. From my very first relationship and on...it has been the same girl..cold, distant, ambivalent ..and I always fall for them. The last girl I feel for seemed just a lil bit different..there was a warmth to her that I didnt exp with the other girls. I thought she might be the one. I should wait but am a lil lonley now and still a lil heartbroken from the last girl. I just kind of want to go out and talk to girls when I am sober to get some exp so I can meet girls in differnt venues.

ignoreen 11-07-2012 07:27 PM

Re: Do some feel that they have waited long enough>? When will meet a good one?
 
WWS: I love how honest and open you are here.
It's nice to hear a man's perspective on romance and what men want
from a girl.
i.


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