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Old 08-29-2012, 05:20 PM   #1
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just not over it or something more?

I was very hurt in a relationship that ended over a year ago. Since then I have dated, I have been somewhat interested in new partners, but not really. I find myself somewhat interested in men but emotionally disengaged, especially after anything physical happens, and I don't care ever if it doesn't work out (even after physical intimacies, which is opposite to reactions I would have had when I was younger).

I'm curious as to what people may think...that I'm just not over the hurt? That it just might not be the right guy? Something else? The reason I ask is someone the other day told me I had depression. I don't think it's depression, but I just don't know what it is.

 
Old 08-29-2012, 06:00 PM   #2
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Re: just not over it or something more?

Whenever you lose interest in any important part of your life, then depression is a very likely cause. Depression can be just a shutting off of emotions to protect yourself from hurt, and it seems as if that is what is going on here. It will pass; it always does. Boost up the other parts of your life, get and keep fit, get a social life going, all this will help. Explore your feelings over the past year. When a relationship breaks down, your emotional part slots it into 'grief and loss' just like a death. Mourning must take place, if you do not go through it then you can get stuck in this grey area. Sera

 
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Old 08-29-2012, 06:16 PM   #3
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Re: just not over it or something more?

Thank you sera-i do see what you're saying. I just don't know what more I can do. I am involved in extracurricular activities, work, go to school, have friends and personal interests/goals, travel, have close bonds with my family,and give myself time to reflect. That's why I'm not sure if its depression. But I also have little emotional engagement with poeple-family and girlfriends moreso than potential partners. But I'm tearing my hair out trying to figure out what to do to get over this

 
Old 08-29-2012, 06:44 PM   #4
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Re: just not over it or something more?

Before you go completely bald, cut yourself a bit of slack. Your feelings and emotions are there for a purpose. I think you are in a protective huddle emotionally, and this will last as long as it is needed. Do not "force" progress, it just makes you frustrated and angry with yourself. Appreciate the nurturing part of the experience. One day, and I guarantee it with all my heart, something or someone will appear in your life and you will lift your head and life will blossom again. Sera

 
Old 09-01-2012, 08:25 AM   #5
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Re: just not over it or something more?

thanks for your response

 
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