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Old 08-30-2012, 06:12 AM   #1
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Angry I can't stand my boyfriend's mother and she hates me for no reason.

First off, she came over last night and she reemed my neck because I'm 17 living with her 20 year old son, who has his own condo, and we've been living together for a Long time now. She went on to tell him how disappointing and frustrating he is to her, because he didn't tell her that I am living with him, (As If It'S Her Business.) She also attacked my parents because she thinks I am a child. I'll be 18 in a month, :/
She than went on to say "I don't agree with you guys." because I'm living here, (As If I Need Her Approval.)
And than went on to say a bunch of crap about me, even though I did Nothing to her. I've been keeping to myself like a good little person and not starting anything.
My boyfriend is starting a business, and she is totally unsupportive. She had no interest in hearing him out, nor did she want to even give him a chance to talk about it. Yet he swears she's supportive. I disagree. :/
She was acting conceited all night, didn't care that she was being Completely rude by coming into Our House and telling me pretty much that I'm a bad person for being here. She than went on to crab about my boyfriend's aunt, who hates her. Gee. I Wonder Why.
She's such a hypocrite. She cheated on her husband, than moved in with some joke 2 months later. Yet my boyfriend and I being together and moving in 6 months was out of the question? Its Not Her Life.
Now she wants me to come over more for dinner and I'm like. 'hahahahahahahahah No.'
I don't know. I'm so angry I can't sleep and my boyfriend won't stand up for me. He just takes her crap and than feels like a waste of space and a failure. It's sickening. He's not a failure. She Is.
All of this is really getting to me and I can't sleep..
I love my boyfriend and we have plans for a future but I don't want her in my life, and will do anything to avoid her.

 
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Old 08-30-2012, 11:44 AM   #2
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Re: I can't stand my boyfriend's mother and she hates me for no reason.

I totally understand your feelings and how rude she is being and I feel she could have handled her feelings in a much better way. My advice is to not put so much pressure on your bf just yet. This is all new to him too and he's at a loss of what to do bc you are his gf and she is his mother.

If she makes you feel that bad being around her then like you said don't go over for dinner and try to create some space between you two. If I had to guess I would say she is upset because technically you are still a minor and she feels her son is doing the wrong thing with A) letting you live there and B) having an adult relationship with you.

I would also guess that she is worried for her son and what could happen as a result if your parents/guardian decides to press the issue. Try to think how you might react if you had a 17 year old daughter/son that was living with their boy/girl friend. I'm not sure I could be happy about it either.

Here is my advise about how to handle this situation. Kill her with kindness. You should act like the mature one and show her how you want to be treated. If that doesn't work and things progressively get worse than I would ask your bf to speak to her on your behalf and let her know that you do not appreciate her attitude and if it continues she will no longer be allowed in your home. I have to say that I lucked out in the in-law department for the most part, but I do know that if I were in your shoes this is how I would try to handle things. Good luck and keep us posted.

 
Old 08-30-2012, 04:04 PM   #3
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Re: I can't stand my boyfriend's mother and she hates me for no reason.

Firstly, accept that her negativity and aggression are from HER head, and you do not have to rent space for them in yours. So do not take her opinions on board. I agree with Jasmine, one, keep space between you both, and two, be relentlessly polite and a bit cheesy. Make it your mantra that nothing she says will change you, and you will not react. Plaster a smile on and say nothing, just nod. She will think you are dumb as a brick and it will drive her mad. I do this with my abusive ex-DIL. She knows it is a waste of time shrieking at me (I have to deal with her as my son has become disabled and we assist him with access to the kids) and I can look back over the whole nightmare and know I always behaved well and never bought into it. Now she doesn't do more than irritate me. Remember, her cr@p is hers, you cannot stop her, what you CAN do is to choose your own reactions to it. She cannot hurt you if you refuse to be hurt. Leave the way open for future mellowing on her part and don't burn all your bridges. She doe not dislkie you because she doesn't know you, she is venting out of her own issues. Sera

 
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