Re: He searches ******** for pics of girls
This is definitely something hard to get across, but do you really want someone who makes you feel less attractive or that he thinks he can get better? I know that his "diary" or whatnot tells you otherwise, but why else would a grown man be looking at 200+ pictures of teenage girls - especially THOSE types of teenage girls. Those are the ones that he lusts after. You're the girl that he can settle down with, call a wife, bring home to mother, have other people respect him for being with. He CAN'T be with the ones he lusts after, therefore he is attracted to them. It's something he can't have.
My ex watched porn almost every day. Probably about 6 videos every day. One time, just as we were about to fall asleep (in the same bed), he was searching for naked pictures of a latin actress and then got mad when I was irritated about it? Bizarre! His ex before me was a trampy girl with fake boobs and fake eyelashes. About as fake-and-baked as you can get. We had been together for over two years; he told me he wanted to marry me, joked about having children with me, talked about going on more vacations together, talked about our parents meeting...then I found out he had been texting (FOR OVER A YEAR) and made out with some skanky, cheeto-coloured, bald (with a wig), fake eyelashed girl who seemed akin to a tranny. Apparently, that's his type.
When I found out, he went onto say how it was a "lapse of judgement" (Whaaa?) and that he didn't want to lose me over some stupid kiss. I kicked him to the curb.
As time went on, I realized that it wasn't just her he was flirting with. He would constantly flirt with these skanky chicks and make me feel crazy about being upset about it.
Sorry about ranting, but what I'm really trying to get at is that he won't change. At least it never changed in my situation. He was ALWAYS attracted to these types of girls and I never satisfied him in that sense. I am attractive (I think so), I'm still young, I take care of myself, I'm in a professional career, I make my own money, not in debt, have my own car, have a wonderful supportive family, am funny, smart, and wholeheartedly generous....it wasn't enough. It was never enough. Because I could never satisfy that carnal pleasure he got from being pursued by these gross, useless girls who probably made him feel more NEEDED than anything else.
If YOU feel that he's not worth it, I'd say end it. If you feel that he could change, well, that's your choice and you've gotta work together on fixing the problem.