Join Date: Sep 2012
| | Seeking some more information
Hi, when it comes to bi-polar disorder I really didn't understand how it effected a individual til I met my gf. I really don't even know where to start, so I'll give a little history. I met my gf when I was 16 and she was 18 at our very first job together, at the time we never got together because we were young and she had already had a boyfriend, I lost contact with her over the years until recently about 4 months ago. Over the years I did not know that eventually she got diagnosed with bi-polar disorder. After alittle bit of talking and dating, we eventually hooked up with one another.
Now we've been together almost 4 months and it is very hard for me to handle all that is going on. I currently work a full-time job, and goto school part-time on top of spend time with her. I do love her and I really want to help her out, but it's very hard for me to help her out when she says she wants to help herself out, but she has a fear of helping herself out. I feel she has alot of issues and she even admits to them herself.
From what I know, she suffers from Bi-polar Disorder, ADHD, and Social Anxiety Disorder as well. In the past she also suffered from seizures, but she has told me that she has not encountered a seizure in about 3 years now. She has so many medications to take that sometimes I feel the medications are messing with her ability to function normally. She told me that bi-polar disorder runs in her family, that her grandmother on her moms side had suffered from it and later passed away. (I can't remember what she passed away from) My girlfriend lacks motivation very badly and does not even clean her room which is very filthy, she's afraid to leave her room, which she calls her comfort zone unless she takes her meds, she said that she has to work herself up for a situation in order to face it.
We've went out and done lots of things that involved society in general, I mean went to places that she encountered alot of people and she seemed to be fine, she told me that it was because her meds were working with her, so she didn't have to fear anything, but as soon as her meds stop, she gets very quiet and she said she almost feels like throwing up, because she is that nervous.
I'm stuck in between a rock and a hard place as much as this is hard to deal with I want to help her as much as I can. She slit her wrists years ago, but she told me that she had no intention in killing herself, she more a less did it for attention and didn't get her way. As I was talking about her bi-polar running in her moms side of the family, her mom is also a alcoholic and is in alcohol rehab for the 2nd time now.
From what I know off the top of my head, the medicine that she takes and is prescribed is, lithium, lamotrigine, klonopin for her anxiety disorder, vitamins, and some other stuff as well. She refuses to say she suffers from depression, but I think she does. She's hard to handle at times, but other times she's perfectly fine, it's only when her meds are out of her system. I'm asking her to seek advice and treatment for her social anxiety on top of anything else she can, but it's almost like she doesn't want the help, even though she said she wants to change her ways for me.
She's done drugs in the past, but stopped doing them, and like her mom she suffers from alcohol problems as well, I continue to tell her not to drink while she's on her meds, but again she doesn't care, the way I see it if she really cared about herself she would seek the help I want her to get. I feel terrible leaving her, but Idk how to handle all this with everything going on in my life, on top of her being bipolar I don't want to feel guilty if she ends up doing something to herself. I'm sorry for ranting, but it feels better to get it out, and I'm hoping to find someone on this board that can help me, help her, I want her to be happy even if it's not with me.