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Old 09-13-2012, 06:00 PM   #1
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I can't seem to be able to trust my partner, HELP!!

Hi, this is my first time in a blog so please bear with me...
I have a new partner, he was my best friend for a number of years and a few months ago wr took it to the next level, and started seeing each other. He was very unhappy in his relationship at the time and after a while he broke it off with her and came with me.
As I was his best friend for a long time I knew that he had lied and cheated on her before. He now says that I can trust him, that he is not a serial cheater and that he only did it because he saw no future in his previous relationship. He wants to marry and have a family with me.
I do love him and am happy when am with him but, even though I have never been a jealous or unsecure woman I find myself always questioning what he tells me and what he does.
He's a good man otherwise, he is trying very hard to make me happy and to make it work.
I had a very mentally abusive father and have issues with commitment, I just think if I could get over all this I could have a happy life with this man. We get on so well and have a great relationship, we can talk about anything and we have spoken about this but I dont wanna keep pestering him about it...
Is really driving me mad and tearing me appart as I feel is gonna end up breaking what we have, please help. I keep having all this thoughts about him lying to me and getting hurt and
I hate feeling this way.
Please help. Please.

S:-(

 
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Old 09-13-2012, 06:58 PM   #2
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Re: I can't seem to be able to trust my partner, HELP!!

If he has always been honest and upfront with you, then I think you should give him a chance. Yes, he did cheat on his ex, and that is not good, but his reasons are (sort of) valid and do not necessarily make him a habitual cheater. Go slowly with him, he does need to demonstrate that he is trustworthy. Sera

 
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Old 09-14-2012, 08:49 AM   #3
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Re: I can't seem to be able to trust my partner, HELP!!

I have learned from experience that you need to make sure that you trust your partner 100%. You cannot have any doubt in your mind. If you do it will make things very difficult for you. If you know he is a good guy and know he will be faithful to you i would continue on with him. like BTB said, he did have 'valid' reasons for cheating. It doesnt seem that he is a serial cheater.

 
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Old 09-14-2012, 08:59 AM   #4
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Re: I can't seem to be able to trust my partner, HELP!!

hello there, i had no reasons to believe that my previous partner (father of my son) was cheating on me either. but i had an extreme urge to go through his phone (i know, the worst thing to do), but i ended up finding stuff.
throughout the course of our relationship, everytime i went through his phone i would find things.
in short, i trusted him, but not enough to not go through his phone. my instinct was correct. he was an excellent liar.

 
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Old 09-14-2012, 09:15 AM   #5
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Re: I can't seem to be able to trust my partner, HELP!!

I think it's a fair assessment to say that typically, people are much more open about their indiscretions with their friends than they ever would be with their significant others. You said that he was your best friend for a while before you got together, so he knows that you know all about what he did in his previous relationship. I think that it's entirely possible that, since he knows you know about his cheating past, he is probably more aware of the fact that you might think he would do the same to you. But the previous friendship he had with you before you got together means that you have a lot stronger foundation to your relationship than he had with the previous girl. Don't underestimate the importance of that friendship because it means that you're probably more important to him and therefore he is less likely (if at all) to cheat again.

I think it's entirely possible that he got it out of his system and that you don't need to worry. Just make sure you guys keep your communication going, be respectful of each other, and try to have as much fun as possible together and you'll be ok. Try not to drive yourself crazy obsessing over this, nothing bad has happened to you. You should enjoy him and the time you get to spend with him. Spend more time living for the moment rather than worrying about something that will probably most likely never happen.

 
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