Originally Posted by waywardson
If you want to date them dont try to be thier friend. I dont know if that was advive given to you before but that is a bad approach. IT feels 'sneaky' and weak to women. It doesnt mean do not be friendly..just make your intent known right from the get go. Other than that hmm dont try to be overly friendly or nice..try to tease them a little..just dont take it too far.
Exactly. I like a guy who is smiling at me, and flirty just a little bit - not talking about my body or anything - but maybe ask about my day, say "I like your top" or say "do you want to go to the cafeteria with me" (if at work) or whatever - make it known that you think shes cute, and you may be interested in more - but a little bit at a time, if she gives you positive signals, step it up a little each time.
If you act like a friend, there are two things that will happen: she is not attracted to you and you will stay a friend or she will be disappointed that you dont make any moves and move on. either way - make your move, be a man, be bold, be respectful, and attentive to her cues and body languages. Use humor, but not vulgarity. A playful wink or touch on the arm can make a girls heart flutter!! If she doesnt like it, she will likely move backward from you, away from you, or make a confused or unhappy face.
A girl that you want to pursue should not ever go into your Friend category. Go for it and risk rejection - you will either see her again or not. If you like her, make her your girlfriend or stop contacting her much. If you like a girl as a Friend only, those are the girls you befriend.
Hope this helps!
For the record I'm a girl, and I've stopped talking to most of my guyfriends but I also knew that these guys would Never be More than Friends. From the get go. I would not have been able to be Friends with them if I liked them "like that". Just fyi. It doesnt work that way for me - if you're a guy, you're either my BF, or my Friend. It does not overlap.
I am not saying its impossible for Friends to fall for one another, just unlikely...better to make your intentions known - girls fear rejection too, and it is society telling us if a girl tells a guy she likes him and is rejected she is a pathetic desperate girl but if a guy does that and is rejected, he's just a guy doing whats normal.