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Old 10-03-2012, 08:46 PM   #1
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Roommate ignoring my existence

So this is different advice than I normally seek. I am having trouble with one of my two current roommates. I live in the city and can't afford a place by myself. I moved in with two girls I didn't know in July. About a month ago we had a roommate meeting with my one picky roommate saying that we should all use our own dishes because hers are getting scratched, stained, etc by other people. This sounded dramatic to me but I agreed I avoid conflict.

About a week ago I used a sandwich press to make a grilled cheese. I washed it very thoroughly. It was hard to tell how clean it was when it was wet so I let it dry overnight. This happened to be my picky roommates sandwich maker. So I get an email from her the next day, to me and my other roommate saying, 'can someone clean out the sandwich maker, there is dried cheese in it. I am sick of people ruining my dishes and will separate them if it comes down to that.' I thought this response was just absurd because when I went to go look there was a small crust of cheese on the machine that was easily wipeable. Since this wasn't her first gripe I responded with some attitude. I said 'if we are excluding wlectronics, then please do not use my toaster oven. I cleaned it to the best of my ability. I know there are more important things in life then complaining about petty issues. I will continue to use my own things'

So after this there was one more email back and forth. I didn't see her all week until today and she did not say one word to me. Not even hi. This is way too dramatic and childish for me at this point. She is 3 years younger but I can't believe it.

What do I do?
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Old 10-06-2012, 11:19 AM   #2
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Re: Roommate ignoring my existence

I think saying "roommate ignoring my existence" is a bit dramatic, but here goes...

I have a roommate and I am a clean freak. I admit to being a clean freak. My roommate is not. So we keep our things separate and do not share dishes. The only appliances we both use are the stove, microwave, toaster and washer & dryer. She uses her own dishes and pots and pans and so do I. I do all of the cleaning of the kitchen and shared appliances because this is my place and I have found that she doesn't clean to my standards. I do become annoyed when I find crumbs, boiled over soup, chicken bones (!) on the counter and stove, etc., but I know she just doesn't mind or even notice what I consider to be a dirty mess, so it's best that I clean it. We clean our own dishes and pots & pans. I have accepted that we are different, so keeping things as separate as possible works best.

I think keeping things separate and not sharing dishes and appliances is the best way to go. You think your roommate is overreacting to "a small crust of cheese that is easily wipeable" while I would go ballistic if someone left any amount of old, dirty food on my sandwich press. You two simply have different standards of clean...so best to use your own things.

Also, accept that you and your roomate may never be buddies, but you two can coexist civilly if you agree to keep things separate.

 
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