DonnieVee

My girlfriend and I have been dating seriously for 19 months. To both of our surprise she became pregnant last summer (her doctor said there was no chance of her becoming pregnant). Unfortunately most of those 19 months have seen some pretty nasty--and admittedly childish--fighting between the two of us and I would love to stop it.

Our arguments don't involve name-calling or hysterical screaming or cursing, thankfully. There is plenty of shouting and hurt feelings, though. It's pretty evenly divided whose fault it is. There are times we just misunderstand one another or she doesn't communicate something to me and gets upset that I couldn't figure out her intentions telepathically or something. I'll plead for her to understand me and she'll insist I will never change.

When something doesn't go my way or I'm feeling depressed she will offer up all sorts of unsolicited advice yet when the same thing happens to her she expects me to just feel sorry for her and not try to remedy the situation. One of our biggest fights is whenever she suggests I should abandon my interests and pursuits and concentrate solely on her and the baby.

I don't have a great frame of reference as all of my past relationships have been absolute disasters, however I feel this woman is exactly what I have been looking for in many ways. She can be extremely supportive and encouraging at times and seems to really love and care for me. I feel the same for her and want to help her as much as possible whenever she's struggling with something emotionally. I want to move beyond the constant fighting and build and maintain a happy, healthy relationship, the kind I know have to still be out there.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and your replies are appreciated.