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Old 10-17-2012, 04:55 PM   #1
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Wink I just found out my bf cheated on me

Hi all" I am a new member need some advice

Last night my bf visited me and he opened his Fb in my computer and he forgot to sign off.
And I looked at the messages (I know it was wrong but I did it anyway )
Apparently he went to Gold Coast couple weeks ago to meet this girl which also happened to be her ex. But what he told me is that he went to Gold Coast for some reunion with his high school friends which was not true. They slept together there, and I saw their pics kissing etc..

We been together for almost 1 year, so our relationship is kinda new

Also i found another ugly truth . He talked to one of his friend about me saying that he doesn't see any future with me because I am young and stupid, and I don't know what I want in life. And he also mentioned that I am not the girl that he can hurry and settle down with.
I was shocked and really sad finding this because tbh I was hoping to marry him one day. Because even I am young I take relationship seriously
I guess its true when ppl say what u don't know won't hurt you

Now I don't really know what to do
My mind told me to break up with him but my heart says different
I love him I still am

I asked my friend and she suggested me to just break up without telling him anything but I want to tell him that I saw the messages on Facebook and I hurt, we'll I just want to get some closure
But m y friend told me that it is so childish to confront him that way
She told me to just say like this "now I realise that I was so stupid that I didn't know what I want but now I do. And that is I don't want u."

What do u guys think? I really need some opinions here

I am still hoping if I tell him the truth he would say sorry and tell me the reasons or something

thanks for listening to me
Your advices, opinions, or your two cents is really appreciated

Last edited by Mybfcheatedonme; 10-17-2012 at 04:59 PM.

 
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Old 10-17-2012, 08:23 PM   #2
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Re: I just found out my bf cheated on me

I'm sorry your boyfriend turned out to be a rat. you say you want to tell him the truth so he can give you some reasons....what reasons would be acceptable to you? If I were you, NO reason is acceptable, he couldn't say anything to make it better. You deserve better. I'd be done with him, and i don't even know if he DESERVES to know why!

 
Old 10-17-2012, 09:22 PM   #3
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Re: I just found out my bf cheated on me

Quote:
Originally Posted by rosequartz View Post
I'm sorry your boyfriend turned out to be a rat. you say you want to tell him the truth so he can give you some reasons....what reasons would be acceptable to you? If I were you, NO reason is acceptable, he couldn't say anything to make it better. You deserve better. I'd be done with him, and i don't even know if he DESERVES to know why!
Thanks
I asked my friend and she also suggested me not to let him know the reason why. But if i tell him the truth, doesnt it make him feel guilty or somethig? I want him to feel bad i dont know i feel so bad and i dont know what to do.. I loved him.. I dont really plan to go back with him as it is hard to give second chance to people. I feel like i want to scream in front of him or revenge oh i am screwed

 
Old 10-17-2012, 09:29 PM   #4
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Re: I just found out my bf cheated on me

But im really curious why everyone saying that he doesnt deserve the right to know why?
So u mean i just need to break up without giving him reasoning?

 
Old 10-17-2012, 09:34 PM   #5
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Re: I just found out my bf cheated on me

if you give him the chance he will try to talk his way out of it, to turn it around and make it your fault.....you didn't spend enough time with him, you didn't do this, you didn't do that, blah blah blah, and its NOT your fault. It's not your fault that he is lacking integrity.
The minute he starts talking he's going to be wearing you down and trying to get you to give him another chance, and you said you don't want to do that. I don't blame you, you can't trust him.

 
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Old 10-17-2012, 09:40 PM   #6
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Re: I just found out my bf cheated on me

Thank you so much now i have better understanding abt the whole thing i will prepare myself for tonight thanks again

 
Old 10-17-2012, 09:45 PM   #7
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Re: I just found out my bf cheated on me

good luck and stay strong!
you don't have to settle for this....there are plenty of other guys who would treat you right!

 
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Old 10-17-2012, 11:02 PM   #8
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Re: I just found out my bf cheated on me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mybfcheatedonme View Post
Hi all" I am a new member need some advice

Last night my bf visited me and he opened his Fb in my computer and he forgot to sign off.
And I looked at the messages (I know it was wrong but I did it anyway )
Apparently he went to Gold Coast couple weeks ago to meet this girl which also happened to be her ex. But what he told me is that he went to Gold Coast for some reunion with his high school friends which was not true. They slept together there, and I saw their pics kissing etc..

We been together for almost 1 year, so our relationship is kinda new

Also i found another ugly truth . He talked to one of his friend about me saying that he doesn't see any future with me because I am young and stupid, and I don't know what I want in life. And he also mentioned that I am not the girl that he can hurry and settle down with.
I was shocked and really sad finding this because tbh I was hoping to marry him one day. Because even I am young I take relationship seriously
I guess its true when ppl say what u don't know won't hurt you

Now I don't really know what to do
My mind told me to break up with him but my heart says different
I love him I still am

I asked my friend and she suggested me to just break up without telling him anything but I want to tell him that I saw the messages on Facebook and I hurt, we'll I just want to get some closure
But m y friend told me that it is so childish to confront him that way
She told me to just say like this "now I realise that I was so stupid that I didn't know what I want but now I do. And that is I don't want u."

What do u guys think? I really need some opinions here

I am still hoping if I tell him the truth he would say sorry and tell me the reasons or something

thanks for listening to me
Your advices, opinions, or your two cents is really appreciated
Hey I know how it feels to find that kind of things. I would confront him with a strong mind and don't let him change it. You have the evidence remember that he tries to lie about it show him. The truth does hurt and what he did was wrong. You want closure confront let him tell you the truth and end it. I failed to do that when I was in same position it only got worse. Just my opinion. Maybe he didn't forget to sign out wanted a way to show you without having to tell you. I don't know. Hope things get better for you.

 
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Old 10-18-2012, 12:13 AM   #9
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Re: I just found out my bf cheated on me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitty4jason View Post
Hey I know how it feels to find that kind of things. I would confront him with a strong mind and don't let him change it. You have the evidence remember that he tries to lie about it show him. The truth does hurt and what he did was wrong. You want closure confront let him tell you the truth and end it. I failed to do that when I was in same position it only got worse. Just my opinion. Maybe he didn't forget to sign out wanted a way to show you without having to tell you. I don't know. Hope things get better for you.
He cheated on me 3 months ago and according to the history of the messages they are no longer in touch with each other. But what really hurt me the most is knowing that he doesnt take me seriously and he doesnt think i am as a wife material kind of girl
And he said i am stupid

Ad true i dont really know why he left his fb opened.. But dont u think it was kind a breach of privacy when i scrolled around his messages on fb?
What if i cofront him and he would snap back at me because i didnt respect his privacy?

If u want to share, what actually happened with u and ur ex? Did u just break up without the clarity?

 
Old 10-18-2012, 02:43 AM   #10
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Re: I just found out my bf cheated on me

your quite the girl after knowing that he cheated on you getting the evidence and still wanting to be with him if he was truly the man you wanted to marry you didn't know the side of him where he would talk behind your back and cheat on you with his ex that means he probably still have feelings for her and his attention is not fully focused on your relationship you can talk to him but it wont stop him from doing it again like you say your still young your prince charming is out there with eyes only for you.

 
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Old 10-18-2012, 03:56 AM   #11
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Re: I just found out my bf cheated on me

Quote:
Originally Posted by Warries22 View Post
your quite the girl after knowing that he cheated on you getting the evidence and still wanting to be with him if he was truly the man you wanted to marry you didn't know the side of him where he would talk behind your back and cheat on you with his ex that means he probably still have feelings for her and his attention is not fully focused on your relationship you can talk to him but it wont stop him from doing it again like you say your still young your prince charming is out there with eyes only for you.
I don't knw I'm just sad now like I can't think clearly at this time so yeah.... What can I say I loved him and think I still am

Thanks for ur thoughts really helpful

 
Old 10-18-2012, 04:08 AM   #12
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Re: I just found out my bf cheated on me

truth is im in the same situation but she is pregnant and i think she is hiding something from me and i dono what to do so yah i feel alot like you do but you can still stop yourself from getting more hurt i cant but you still can stop yourself from getting in the situation

 
Old 10-18-2012, 04:18 AM   #13
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Re: I just found out my bf cheated on me

Same situation ? Do u mean she is pregnant with someone else? Do u love her? Oh man I really can't believe it why there are so many cheaters out there? Btw I am sorry to hear that hope u can sort it out. How long u been together with her?

Now after taking some time thinking, I feel I'm lucky to find this early. I couldn't imagine what would happen if I find it later on the stage where I am more invested in relationship, It would hurt me even more

 
Old 10-18-2012, 04:38 AM   #14
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Re: I just found out my bf cheated on me

maybe i don't have solid evidence but there is a chance because the day we conceived was the day she lied to me and went to a place where i didn't want her to go my story is in one of my posts but yah its bugging me because she is really detached and distant from me and hurting me allot so i am trying to forget about it but yah that day will always sit in my head till i can know for sure that is my child because with all the lies im finding it very hard to believe her and the attitude she has towards me is killing me inside some say its hormones some say its guilt some say there's someone else so jap im in a very big bowl of emotions hoping around and heartache and do i love her to much and thats y im so scared

Last edited by Warries22; 10-18-2012 at 04:40 AM.

 
Old 10-18-2012, 04:53 AM   #15
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Re: I just found out my bf cheated on me

Oh man I can totally relate to you. I can understand your pain and your confusion. Loving someone too much just gonna give you that much of pain. And you can always check in the hospital, do DNA test maybe whether the baby is yours or not. But what I learned from this is : you will never grieve if you have no attachment to anything.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 10-18-2012 at 04:56 PM. Reason: Please type using full words.

 
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