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Old 11-20-2012, 10:57 AM   #1
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Should I stay or should I go?

Hi guys, new here and looking for some unbiased advice on how to handle this situation I have found myself in.

I have been with my current girlfriend for three and a half years now. Been engaged about a year. Now we had a break of about a month six months ago. Since then things have been okay and we have rarely had a cross word or anything. But in my head I am thinking I can't spend the rest of my life her. I think I shouldn't have gone back, but she was a bit of a mess without me and I now think half the reason I went back was out of pity.

Now the other part is I met someone back in my hometown whilst visiting family. This girl is amazing and I feel in my heart I need to chase this up. We had such a wonderful time together, I mean I didn't think that I could feel that way about someone. All new feelings to me! And she feels exactly the same about me.
Now we didn't do the dirty because we both knew that is not the best way to start something. I have been speaking to her via phone,email etc because I live a short plane or a boat journey away from her. I have not met her in person since that night.

I should also mention that she is in the same predicament as me with her boyfriend as in she can't see a future with him, for other reasons. It sucks to be so crazy about each other and not be able to do anything about it. :-(
I know people might think it's just a infatuation but I felt something with her that I never thought possible.

Thanks in advance!

What to do?

 
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Old 11-20-2012, 03:09 PM   #2
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Re: Should I stay or should I go?

Whatever you decide, do it soon! Pity is never a good reason to settle for somebody. You need to sort out your present relationship, ie, end it, before you proceed any further into this new one. Do not stay with your gf as a hedge, that would be totally dishonourable. My advice then, is to end your relationship before you have to do it as a cheater. It will not be easy and she will be devastated but it would be worse to stay, all the time thinking about the other woman. The new woman may not work out, but that must be a separate issue, and not affect your breakup. Sera

Last edited by Seraph; 11-20-2012 at 03:10 PM.

 
Old 11-27-2012, 01:47 AM   #3
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Re: Should I stay or should I go?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dph78 View Post
Hi guys, new here and looking for some unbiased advice on how to handle this situation I have found myself in.

I have been with my current girlfriend for three and a half years now. Been engaged about a year. Now we had a break of about a month six months ago. Since then things have been okay and we have rarely had a cross word or anything. But in my head I am thinking I can't spend the rest of my life her. I think I shouldn't have gone back, but she was a bit of a mess without me and I now think half the reason I went back was out of pity.

Now the other part is I met someone back in my hometown whilst visiting family. This girl is amazing and I feel in my heart I need to chase this up. We had such a wonderful time together, I mean I didn't think that I could feel that way about someone. All new feelings to me! And she feels exactly the same about me.
Now we didn't do the dirty because we both knew that is not the best way to start something. I have been speaking to her via phone,email etc because I live a short plane or a boat journey away from her. I have not met her in person since that night.

I should also mention that she is in the same predicament as me with her boyfriend as in she can't see a future with him, for other reasons. It sucks to be so crazy about each other and not be able to do anything about it. :-(
I know people might think it's just a infatuation but I felt something with her that I never thought possible.

Thanks in advance!

What to do?
You must leave this woman, otherwise you will end up settling and settling is hell. Relationships shouldn't be this hard, and if you are this ambivalent, it means that it's over and not meant to be. I know it's lonely but I know you can find the strength to leave her. I don't know about the other woman, I wouldn't put too much into that one, she might just be a diversion to keep your mind off this horrible predicament you are in. Please don't stay in this relationship!

 
Old 11-27-2012, 08:25 AM   #4
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Re: Should I stay or should I go?

cut the first one loose......it's just not working, regardless of if the second one works or not.....

 
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