i met my boyfirend abroad year ago. we spend 1 and half month together in thailand sharing room and spending every moment together.
after we went back to our countries we visited each other for week long trips in 5 months time.
we were matched perfect5ly for each other, i fell in love from the first side.
we were prepared this relationship is not going to last becaquse of distance (sweden -israel) and difference in life experience plus age (me 25-he 30).
after all ,in june ,knowing each other 6 moths and everything about us, being happy and fullfilled with trust patiience and all good feelings i decided to quit my job, ditch apartment and security in my life for israel, new culture, language, different religion and traditions.
without working visa, framily and friends i managed to organise my life here a bit, now i can say i have some sort of reality here but it still feels strange.
plus i managed to get to know him from different point, not as supporting partner when you make mistake but more of 'i told you so, you learn in hard way, you never listen'.he points out my mistakes all the time while he himself is not perfect or so succesfull neither.
from beggining i knew he is a flirt and he like attention of women, i respect it but i told him i never want to hear or know about his adventures if there are any. he promised merespect and happiness and he will never hurt me.
so i was living happy life, with ups and downs like every relationship, up untill i start being bit worried about messages in middle of night, he always just say im not asking you quiestions you dont ask me.
when i checked his phone he always removes messages, all pictures, all messages in email and facebook, he is all the time keeping everything pure plain.
not even leaving messages from me and friends - he cancells all, everyday, regular basis.
thats what i hate, cause why he do it ????
i cant tell him or ask him, im not allowed to touch his phone, so i suffer in silence.
he told me already that right after he came from visiting me in sweden he ****** some random girl at the party and it was nothing.
there is this girl (lets focus on this one cause today my heart just broke over this, it was like last nail ...) who is his friend from course he did while i was still in sweden. i didnt mind her cause i learn from him not to be jelaous all the time about small things, so i ignored she is pretty and they spend all time together. after i arrived here he introduced me and they kept studying together anyway.
i was pre3tty sure he ****** her already, i asked once or twice, he just asked me back why i want to know and no, he didnt.
but today i seen picture of my boyfirend from june just before i came to israel. its good picture of him i like, it i asked who took it cause that person have good hand. he told me its not my business , without blink of eye, nothing, nd he continue with usual conversqation.
later on ,i looked at that picture again, and under it she comment ' talking chair ...
' , and then he put under this ' one chair many talks ...
my heart stopped, i used google translate to read it cause its in hebrew but i dont think meaning could be that far.
then i went on her profile, and i found picture on her profile, sitting in skimpy pijamas on sofa in our apartment he rented specially for us once i come to israel.
so picture is published on 9 june, i came here 12 june.
i could be paranoid, maybe she just stayed for night and they study or drink, but why he didnt tell me if it was innocent ?
im at work now, i cry cause i dont know what to do, i want to confront him, i want to leave israel, i want to never see him again
but he told me hesw cheater, he told me, i will catch him one day .
if im not right, if i explode on him and he tell me nothing happen he will fight with me and tell me im paranoid and he maybe leave me.
if i break what im going to do??? i left my whole life for him, im here alone, i dont have home or plce to go, no money to go back to sweden .
what im going to do?????