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Old 11-27-2012, 12:36 AM   #1
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bored and lonely

Help! I can't seem to see any way out of this hopeless and painful situation. I have never been so bored in my life! I married 3 years ago and gave up my whole world (life in a big city, friends, a career) to move to a remote area to get married. The work I have found here is boring and it is wearing on me. My life is boring and I am not attracted to my boring husband. I got pregnant 5 weeks after being here and we now have a 2 year old son. Every day is dull and lonely. I haven't been able to find work anywhere nearby. My husband has no job skills that will translate to the city and anyway he won't look to change our situation anyway. I don't find any joy in life, I am in so much pain. I haven't been able to make that many friends here cause most people are bored and unhappy here too. We have nothing to talk about and no one wants to really talk about what it's like anyway. My poor little baby, I don't want to raise him here. I wish I could leave or find some way out but I can't leave because of my child. It is truly like being in a prison, any suggestions for how to reclaim joy in life?

 
Old 11-27-2012, 07:22 AM   #2
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Re: bored and lonely

so everything is boring? your work, your husband, your friends?
this is more a reflection on you than everyone else.......why are YOU bored?
find something to do......read, exercize, take up a hobby.......
it's not your surroundings......why are YOU bored?

 
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Old 11-27-2012, 11:52 AM   #3
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Re: bored and lonely

Hi,
Some years ago I also moved to rural country life after 35 yrs of living in a city.
I understand what a big difference this can make to your life but it's entirely up to you to change it and it can be done. You could take your young son to a nursery where you would meet other young mums who you could invite back to your home for coffee mornings. You could join a church which may have a mother/baby morning.
Advertise for a baby minder and have a night out once or twice a month with your hubby.
I joined a church and a club and also took up painting and photography and have made many friends which thirteen years ago I thought was impossible.
If you really want to you can make this work and I wish you well,

Solofelix.

 
Old 11-27-2012, 01:56 PM   #4
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Re: bored and lonely

What they say is if life hands you lemons, make lemonade! I find the exact opposite to be true as far as bored out in the country. I find living in the city totally boring and nothing to do...but then again I love working outside and hiking in the woods and that sort of thing. If you can't move then make the best of what you have.
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Old 11-27-2012, 04:56 PM   #5
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Re: bored and lonely

Quote:
Originally Posted by BeaTrade View Post
What they say is if life hands you lemons, make lemonade! I find the exact opposite to be true as far as bored out in the country. I find living in the city totally boring and nothing to do...but then again I love working outside and hiking in the woods and that sort of thing. If you can't move then make the best of what you have.
Thank you for your reply, believe me, I've been trying desparately to make lemonade out of lemons, it is wearing me thin. I'm took a job here that I am extremely overqualified for which sort of feels like I'm banging my head against a wall. I bring a lot of value to the position and it feels absolutely thankless and a waste of my skills. I'm making about a third of what I made in the city which doesn't feel too good either. You are right, everyone is different, some people love the country and some do not. My husband is a country person and I am not. I'm trying to make the best of a bad situation. I get really down when I think of what my life could have been like if I'd stayed in the city, I don't see how we can move back, it's so expensive

 
Old 11-27-2012, 05:00 PM   #6
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Re: bored and lonely

Quote:
Originally Posted by solofelix View Post
Hi,
Some years ago I also moved to rural country life after 35 yrs of living in a city.
I understand what a big difference this can make to your life but it's entirely up to you to change it and it can be done. You could take your young son to a nursery where you would meet other young mums who you could invite back to your home for coffee mornings. You could join a church which may have a mother/baby morning.
Advertise for a baby minder and have a night out once or twice a month with your hubby.
I joined a church and a club and also took up painting and photography and have made many friends which thirteen years ago I thought was impossible.
If you really want to you can make this work and I wish you well,

Solofelix.
Thank you for your feedback, I really appreciate your suggestions. I have tried to meet other moms through activiities with my son but I don't relate to the people here at all. It's like an alternate universe, the people are religious and conservative, and I am not. Besides, there is not much to talk about, nothing going on. I have thought about taking painting classes, thank you for the suggestion.

 
Old 11-27-2012, 06:44 PM   #7
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Re: bored and lonely

Quote:
Originally Posted by rosequartz View Post
so everything is boring? your work, your husband, your friends?
this is more a reflection on you than everyone else.......why are YOU bored?
find something to do......read, exercize, take up a hobby.......
it's not your surroundings......why are YOU bored?
thank you for the feedback
yes, the work is pretty lonely and dull, no office comraderie, I can't find a job here and do freelance gigs on my own, there is no work in my field out here. I have no good friends here plus I can't really tell anyone how miserable i am in my marriage so it's hard getting close to anyone. I read, exercise and play tennis but there is no intellectual stimulation and it is understimulating here. I'm bored because I'm not living the life I chose, I let things choose me. I didn't pick to move here, I'm here cause of my husband. I also let him pick me, I settled in this marriage because I didn't think I could get anything better. This is not the life I want and I feel trapped and like I'm in prison. Does that make sense?

 
Old 11-27-2012, 09:24 PM   #8
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Re: bored and lonely

you made all these changes in your life for one reason, and that is a husband who you very clearly are not in love with. i think this is the root of your troubles right now. you need to leave him so you can eventually meet the right person and he deserves to be with someone who loves him.

 
Old 11-28-2012, 05:22 PM   #9
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Re: bored and lonely

Quote:
Originally Posted by GenericPhrase View Post
you made all these changes in your life for one reason, and that is a husband who you very clearly are not in love with. i think this is the root of your troubles right now. you need to leave him so you can eventually meet the right person and he deserves to be with someone who loves him.
Thanks for your feedback. I agree with what you are saying, if we didn't have a baby together I would have left already. I would have left so long ago you have no idea… I don't know how to cope here but I know I can't leave because of the child. We don't fight so I think it is better to stay together for the sake of the child.

 
Old 12-02-2012, 10:54 PM   #10
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Re: bored and lonely

Have you talked with him about everything you have said here? Does he care? Cuz if he did he would do anything for you. If he loves u.

 
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