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Old 11-28-2012, 09:33 AM   #1
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was i "cheated" on? is that possible? NEED advice.

my partner and i have an "open" relationship. we agreed on that. i told him it's ok if he wants to have sex(safe) with somebody else, it's fine. he said the same. we didn't discuss it any further. two days ago, i walked past his computer and noticed a text up on the screen to someone he'd hooked up with once. there were a total of 125 texts back and forth over the two and a half days prior. the texts were telling this other person how he wished they were cuddled up watching dvr'd shows, how much he couldn't wait until this other person was close enough to him that he could feel their breath and the beating of their heart. he asked them to go to an amusement park with him. he asked to take them to lunch this week. they'd already met up and had lunch about a week prior too. he's texting this person even while i'm around. i just feel like these are things he should EXCLUSIVELY be doing with me. or maybe non-sexual friends.

basically here's where i'm scared, confused, worried, etc... when i pointed to the texts on the screen, he told me that those were just "words on a screen" and they meant nothing. he said he was just playing the game to get into the other person's pants and that it was nothing more than that. he told me over and over that i'm the one for him. he seemed to be thrown off that i'd even be concerned about what i'd seen. he told me that we agreed we'd have an open relationship. which is true. we did. but is this going too far? when i said open, i thought it meant just sex. what he's doing with this other person almost seems like dating to me. my question to anyone willing to answer with their honest opinion: If you've agreed to have an open relationship and your boyfriend/girlfriend begins hanging out(even occasionally) with someone that they're also hooking up with, is that going too far? Am I wrong to feel the way I feel?

 
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Old 11-28-2012, 09:35 AM   #2
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Re: was i "cheated" on? is that possible? NEED advice.

if you agreed to an open relationship he's not cheating.......
why did you agree to it if you really didn't want it?

 
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Old 11-28-2012, 09:39 AM   #3
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Re: was i "cheated" on? is that possible? NEED advice.

i did want it. but like i said...i thought it would be just sex. hanging out with a person and eating with them. and asking them to go to amusement parks just seems like more than sex. and hence, more than what i bargained for. and also more than i'd ever dream of doing with someone other than him. if i do "hook up" with someone else, that's all it's going to be. i'm not going to start texting the person and calling them and asking them out to lunch and telling them i want to cuddle with them.

 
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Old 11-28-2012, 09:46 AM   #4
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Re: was i "cheated" on? is that possible? NEED advice.

whether you meant for it to happen or not, sometimes emotions get involved.....

 
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Old 11-28-2012, 09:52 AM   #5
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Re: was i "cheated" on? is that possible? NEED advice.

and THAT is what scares me. he says it's not emotional and that he's playing a game. but do you want to be involved with somebody who has no problem playing games with other people like that? or do you want to be involved with someone who's lying to you about having an emotional attachment to someone else? we've been together for over a year now and i think i know him, but now i'm confused. if it really is a game, i've never known him to be a game player. and if it's not a game, i HAVE known him to lie to me before. i think i'm coming to realizations even as i type this.

 
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Old 11-28-2012, 09:54 AM   #6
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Re: was i "cheated" on? is that possible? NEED advice.

protect your heart.....he could be playing a game with you, as well......

 
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