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Old 12-14-2012, 01:04 PM   #1
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why do MEN Lie????

my boyfriend of 4 yrs. is still lying to me He tells me all the time he would never do anything to hurt me. well I had a gut feeling something was going on behind my back so I recording him and sure enough I was right he had 3 som . I confronted him and he said it was one of those times he thought what I don't know wont hurt. So he promised me he would never do it again. well my gut feeling kicked in again and recorded again (broke my promise) setting up other women to get involve too. so I asked him if he still talks to the others he said NO well that was a lie too.
I found out a lot of things that I wish I knew before we got together and he had me to move in with him.
he said no open relationships and he would let me know first if he decides to meet other woman that was a lie.
he says he has no time to cheat...you see we both work at the same place but he is on day light 12 hrs. and I'm on nights 12 hrs. So tell me does he have time to cheat????????????

I tried so hard to trust him again but he broke it. I'm wondering now is he just using me to help him pay off his debts too. He makes me feel like a fool big time and all I want to do is cry and run away so far away from everyone even my family he hated it when my family uses me and now he's doing the same dam thing too.

Last edited by Administrator; 12-20-2012 at 06:09 PM.

 
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Old 12-14-2012, 02:05 PM   #2
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Re: why do MEN Lie????

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation, but be careful not to make it a condemnation of ALL men, you know? You got a bad one, throw him back before he stinks up the rest of your life. There are still some good men out there. You deserve it.

 
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Old 12-14-2012, 02:17 PM   #3
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Re: why do MEN Lie????

Hello shesaneagle and welcome.

His reluctancy to be upfront with you is very telling.
With all honesty,I can see no good coming from his deceptive practices.

Even though you used equal measures(of deception)i'd have to say that it was warranted.You needed to find out if he was truthful and trustworthy.I'm sorry that he became a disappointment,which you can turn into a blessing.

If he's not emotionally invested in you then all arrows point to the financial.
To tell you otherwise would be misleading.

As for the age-old question of "why do men lie?"
Let me count the reasons but mainly to stay out of trouble.
This doesn't apply to all men,for there still are some good ones out there.
Those that believe chivalry isn't dead and prove it by opening the door for you,bringing home flowers(simply to say I love you) and drawing a warm bath,for when you arrive home.
Please take some time,when you're home alone and begin to plan for your future,in the event you decide to leave.

I,by no means,am telling you what to do but know that you deserve better than what you're presently getting,which is definitely subpar.

With sincere respect
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Old 12-15-2012, 06:51 AM   #4
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Re: why do MEN Lie????

I agree with the other posters and would like to add this.....Your boyfriend wants to have you plus live in a sexual wonderland on the side. If nothing else please think of your health as an STD could ruin your life not to mention the emotional turmoil he causes you will effect your health and well being. I wish you the best

 
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Old 12-18-2012, 08:18 AM   #5
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Re: why do MEN Lie????

get rid of him! you already know you can't trust him!
why do men lie? because the women they're with let them get away with it with no consequences! Show him there ARE consequences.
you deserve better!

 
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Old 12-19-2012, 11:50 PM   #6
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Re: why do MEN Lie????

I really feel sorry for you get rid of him

 
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Old 12-20-2012, 10:13 PM   #7
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Re: why do MEN Lie????

I sincerely with the OP all the best in your situation and please do what you have to do. Au Revior!

Last edited by Mod-S4; 12-21-2012 at 11:08 AM.

 
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Old 12-21-2012, 03:25 AM   #8
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Re: why do MEN Lie????

I want to say Thank You for all those who responded it really was helpful. HUGS

I will admit that when I got my divorce of 21 yrs. I was a big time male basher. It seemed to me that all the men I knew from where I worked seemed to want total control or just want there cake and eat it too. so I found a (male) who I could trust and talk to.(He is a happily married man and deeply loves his wife) He helped me understand a lot of misunderstandings I had about men. I stopped bashing men and as the yrs. went by I realized there were women out there doing the same thing of what men do and It was so wrong of the way people do others.

when I meet the one I am with now I thought it's too good to be true to find the right one and after about a yr. and a half I truly realized I was so IN LOVE that I did everything for him and was so happy (up until this year) when I found condoms and his actions were louder than words. we wanted the same thing in a relationship work together not against each other (that was proven wrong on his part). he made me feel really appreciated of what I did for him and that I was special to him up until I noticed he was getting distance with me and that he was still having sex with his ex wife which he doesn't know I know that. and also his friend john and ann and a few others that ann set up for him and the one he meet off horny housewife and be naughty etc. I asked him about a few and he started getting so offensive about it and then I knew something wasn't right so I kept my guard up and never hardly talked to him about things in life general. but deep down in side I was hurting so bad..

as of now I went to doctors due to my headaches and he seemed to be concerned but on the other hand I felt I was ruining his time with the other women he had to meet up with. well the doctor said he noticed that there is something bothering me also and I started to open up to him but didn't so he set up a day for me to come and talk to him and I think I'm going to set that appointment up cause I really need someone to talk to. ps he knows him also.

I'm too old for all this relationship drama. I'm in my mid 40's. I realize that trust is going to be my hardest part to deal with.

 
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Old 12-23-2012, 05:15 PM   #9
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Re: why do MEN Lie????

You know the truth. You know what to do. I know it isn't easy but you deserve SO MUCH MORE. God bless you.

 
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Old 01-01-2013, 10:42 PM   #10
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Re: why do MEN Lie????

Why do men lie? The same reason as why women lie...

Lying is an issue of self respect and respect for others. It is a true indicator of character, maturity and self worth.

Those who do not lie, use the truth as a statement of their personal convictions, to protect their honor, and to uphold the rights of others to know the truth.

Those who do lie, do not hold themselves, or others in high enough esteem to trust them, or themselves with the truth.

People either do, or do not tell the truth...men or women. Children need to be taught the value of their word, so we need to model the truth to them. As they say, the truth shall set you free, and there are no truer words.

Allowing liars in your life is asking for disrespect and deceit. Tell me a lie, and I will show you the door.

 
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Old 01-02-2013, 08:27 AM   #11
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Re: why do MEN Lie????

There comes a point in these types of situations where you have to take some personal responsibility for allowing it to continue for as long as it has without putting a stop to it. It seems to me that at this point, the best thing for you to do would be to tell him that you've put up with his shenanigans long enough and you're done. I think you must realize at this point that it's not fixable because too much has happened and too much has been going on for too long. It's time to cut your losses and move on.

 
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