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Old 12-23-2012, 06:24 PM   #1
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Could really use some advice

Hello,

I am at a total loss on how to proceed. My wife has changed immensely in the past couple of weeks. There has been lots of crying, lots of complaining of fatigue, headaches, really strange forgetfulness, lots of arguements that I would not know the subject of if I were held at gunpoint, in short lots of random behavior.

We have an 8 month old and Friday was our anniversary. My wife informed me her family was coming in that day. I asked if they could come in the next day because it is our anniversary. My wife did not seem to care about this, we had a mild "arguement" via text. I had the day off, my wife arrived home, I told her what I had cleaned in preparation of family arriving that night. I said I was dissappointed, I had made us reservations at a resturaunt. There was no argueing; my wife said thanks. My little boy has been sick, my wife said she was taking him to get formula. I laid down to take a nap as I had been up with our boy most of the night and all that day. Instead of going to the store, my wife takes my credit card runs up a few hundred dollars, empties our checking account, and goes two states away to the family who is already in route to our home. My wife texts me and claims it is because of the massive arguement when she got home, this is an agrugement that never happened.

I think she is suffering from post pardum depression, she is already on medication for depression. However, I do not know how to handle this, she is not speaking rationally and the particular family member she is with dislikes me or for that matter any male. I have no idea how to proceed, my son is gone, I am not sure when I will see him again and any contact with my wife is not logical a discussion. She told me she wanted to divorce, I said ok then she was mad I was not willing to work through things. I told her I would work through things and go to counseling, she then said I was be far too agreeable, and that everything I proposed to make the marriage work was not enough. I have no idea what to do, my enitre family has passed, and I have nobody to turn to for help. What do I do?

 
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Old 12-24-2012, 12:51 AM   #2
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Re: Could really use some advice

I can see why you might concerned about your wife suffering from post partum depression or some other break with her normal self. Rather than talk of divorce or other radical choices, I would first try to get your wife and your young son back into the safety of your supervision.

Your first concern must be with the baby, as her behavior sounds so erratic and confusing. Your next concern has to be having your wife cared for by a professional to determine her current status health wise.

Can you speak with her family about your concerns? Without much background on both of you, I do not know how unusual this event is in your lives, but if it were me, I would be more worried about either of them being harmed than anything else right now. I would want her to feel safe coming home so you can know just what is going on, and prepare the next step to take.

I hope this all turns out for the very best, for both of you and especially that baby.

 
Old 12-24-2012, 08:54 PM   #3
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Re: Could really use some advice

I am checking back, to see if you had any new information from your wife. If my child was taken by my spouse in anger, while acting very differently..I would make sure that child is safe at all costs. If that meant calling the police, I would do that too.

It is hard to tell from your post how worried you are. If things come down to a court case over the child, would you fight for him? If so, I would take the first step in enforcing your parental rights and protecting your child from possible harm.

 
Old 12-25-2012, 02:06 PM   #4
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Re: Could really use some advice

It could also be, not that she was remembering things incorrectly but that she was putting on a good "show" in front of her friend that apparently does not like you for some reason. I wonder why the friend does not like you? It makes me think there's more going on than you are saying. I mean I know that no one in my family hates my husband nor does any friend of mine hate him. Because they would have no reason to! It is either that you have a not so great past or that for some reason she is filling his/her head up with lies about you for some strange reason.
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Old 12-25-2012, 03:06 PM   #5
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Re: Could really use some advice

Why was she on depression pills before?

 
Old 02-03-2013, 05:55 AM   #6
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Re: Could really use some advice

Thanks for the help everyone. Sorry, I have taken so long to reply. My wife came home Christmas Day with my boy. She is back on medication.

To the post that asked why she was on depression medicine, she had a death in the family during pregnancy. The Dr. placed her on a low dose as a preventative measure against ppd.

As to the post about the family member, her family likes me in general, her sister does not ipsofacto that I am a male and married to her sister. This family member is quite wealthy and foots the bill for the majority of the rest of the family, so debate on anything counter to the sister's feelings is null as she can and has withdrawn financial support from anyone who mildly disagrees with her. As an example of her feelings toward me, when I first started dating my wife I was to travel to meet her sister. I did not even know the sister's name yet. I could not go because I had to work memorial day. The sister claimed obviously I am cheating because no one has to work memorial day in my profession. I had to give a link to my wife to see my work schedule. She belittles her husband and her daughter's boyfriend immensely. The bf does not speak to her unless necessary.

My wife is on a higher dose of medicine. She had not taken her daily medicine in over a month. We went to her Dr. together and she forgot an entire conversation with the doctor during the appointment. I was glad he could see what I was talking about. She is fine now; she is a good person but is just facing some mental health issues that the Dr. said is not unheard of in her situation. I am still disappointed that she has not shared these mental health issues with most of her family. Some still believe I had some role in this.

 
Old 02-17-2013, 07:17 PM   #7
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Re: Could really use some advice

I am very glad to read that you have your wife and baby son back! I just read all of this at once, but if I had read it at the time you wrote it and had to wait a month to hear that everyone was safe right now, I'd have worried alot. I already have more of my share of things to worry about, so I don't know why I take on more. Haha. Besides, worrying does nothing productive in the first place. I really am glad though that your little family is together again. Nobody has a perfect life. There's always something, but at least you now have some foundation with which to work on these other things together as a family unit. I really hope the best for you and your family. Especially your innocent baby son. What a true blessing he is i bet.

 
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